I'd Rather Hurt Than Feel Nothing
by sunnyNsc
Summary: AU: Callie has a unique set of job skills. Arizona is in need of the help Callie can provide. Drawn to each other, they fight to remain professional. Will stubbornness win or will fate have its way?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy.

AU: Callie has a unique set of job skills. Arizona finds herself in desperate need of the type of help that someone like Callie can give her. Drawn to each other, they fight to keep their relationship professional. Who throws in the towel first giving over to their personal desires?

AN: Involves discipline between two consenting adults. If that is not your thing, I understand. I won't hold it against you, so don't hold it against me :) Title from Lady Antebellum's song of the same name.

**I'd Rather Hurt Than Feeling Nothing at All**

Chapter 1: Into The Looking Glass

Arizona studied the plain nondescript brick town house in an upscale part of down town Seattle. She double checked the address on the piece of paper in her hand, and double checked the street address. The entire block looked to be various sorts of businesses from acupuncture, massage therapy, and even a psychiatrist! Arizona was skeptical that the place she was supposed to be at would be located in such a low key area. She expected the place to be located in a sketchy area, adorned with bright flashing neon lights. Amsterdam's red light district came into her mind, but considering how difficult it was to get an appointment, she knew better. She needed a referral from an already established member, a detailed history including a physical, and a background check. It was a lot, but overall, she was glad things were taken so seriously. Arizona approached the door to the brownstone. She tried the handle only to realize it was locked. It was then she noticed a closed circuit video camera, and a buzzer. She felt a little bit like Alice in Wonderland but instead of ingesting a magical liquid that would transport her to a different world, all she had to do was push a button. She didn't hesitate.

"Please look into the camera and state your name," a female voice said over the intercom. Arizona looked up facing the camera, "Arizona Robbins," she said with more confidence than she actually felt. There was a pause, then a buzzing sound.

"You may enter," the voice over the intercom said. Arizona grabbed the door handle with trepidation preparing herself to be transported into a whole new world.

It took her eyes a moment to adjust to the softly lit waiting area she walked into. She blinked a couple of times to assist her vision. Again, it was not at all what she expected when she was told about this place. She expected something like a medieval dungeon or torture chamber. But instead, she was met with walls painted in a warming earthy tone. The boring might call it beige. There was a couch, and a love seat upholstered in cream colored suede. There was a fire place in the center of the room that was filled with lit candles emanating a soft glow. There was also two matching arms chairs with ottomans on each side of the alcove created by the fireplace. Soft relaxing music was playing over the stereo system. Directly across from the fireplace, on the other side of the room was a young woman sitting in what appeared to be reception area. She was behind a large mahogany L shaped desk. Arizona approached the woman expectantly.

"You must be the voice behind the intercom," she laughed nervously.

"I am," the woman said brightly, "My name is Candy," she said extending her hand in introduction.

"_Candy,"_ Arizona chuckled inwardly to herself, "_Finally something that does fit!"_ Arizona shook the proffered hand politely introducing herself.

"Of course you are Arizona," Candy said cheerfully, "Do you have the release forms with you so I can add them to your application packet?"

"Oh yeah," Arizona mumbled handing the packet over to Candy.

"Great," she said, "I'll just need to copy your driver's license for you file." Arizona rummaged through her purse in search of her wallet. She dug out her license handing it over to Candy. She quickly copied it giving it back.

"Have a seat, make yourself comfortable," Candy suggested, "I need to review your paperwork for completion then give it to the boss for your assignment. Then you are on your way." Arizona walked over to the chair sitting catercorner nearest the fireplace sitting down. She chewed her lips second guessing her decision t come here. She had tried different things in the past from binge drinking to one night stands but nothing seemed to dull the razor like pain of burden she felt. A good friend of hers, who was an established guest, suggested this process to her. At first, she laughed it off, but one night she found herself alone with her alcohol and cigarettes. She'd just had an encounter with a girl that she couldn't remember her name or even remember if she asked her what it was. Arizona wasn't on that roof to commit suicide, but it was on that roof that some clarity was delivered unto her. She remembered the place her friend told her about, figured she had nothing to lose at this point, and that is how she ended up at the establishment known as Velvet.

"It is all here," Candy announced getting out of her seat, "I'm going to pass it on," she told Arizona heading up the set of stairs. Arizona sat on the edge of the chair in anticipation of what came next.

Meanwhile, Candy walked down the hallway leading to her boss' office. At the top of the stairs to her left was a full bathroom, to the right was two rooms. One was a spare room that was never really used. The other room was a room for the employees to change in and relax in. Each room was tastefully decorated with comfort and relaxation in mind. At the very end of the hallway, was the room used by her boss for an office. Candy approached the door to the office knocking softly.

"Come in," her boss said. Candy opened the door. Her boss was sitting behind her desk, while her colleague and best friend, Cristina sat across from her.

"What have we got Candy?" Her boss asked authoritatively.

"Arizona Robbins ma'am," Candy responded softly handing over the file to her boss. Her boss took the paperwork from Candy.

"Thank you Candy," her boss said, "That will be all."

"Yes ma'am," Candy said taking her cue to leave closing the door quietly behind her.

"You sure got her trained well," Cristina said with total admiration in her voice. Callie laughed out loud.

"Yeah," she agreed, "They all come in here arrogant and cocky thinking no one can take them down but it is another story after they meet Kat," Callie said referring to her favorite instrument of discipline.

"Kat's no joke," Cristina agreed seriously.

"Listen to this," Callie said to Cristina reading out of Arizona's file, "Arizona Robbins, 35, pediatric resident at Seattle Grace Mercy West hospital."

"Isn't this a little dark and twisty for someone that works with kids day in and day out," she commented dryly.

"Maybe," Callie said offhandedly studying Arizona's picture intently, "But nothing surprises me anymore." Something about Arizona's picture captivated her. Maybe it was the way Arizona's smile didn't fully reach her eyes or maybe it was the hint of the something hidden deep behind the deeps of her shiny blue eyes. Callie was intrigued by this woman and she wanted to know more.

"Since Meredith called in sick I guess I better go and get ready," Cristina said getting up out of her chair but Callie stopped her.

"Wait," she said, "I got this one."

"What?" Cristina asked dumbfounded, "Did you just..."

"You heard me Cristina," Callie replied sharply, "I got this one."

"But you haven't taken a client since..." Cristina began.

"I am well aware of that, thank you," Callie retorted with an abundance of irritation.

"Are you sure?" she asked clearly concerned.

"I'm sure," Callie told her friend, "Besides you will be watching, right?"

"I got your back Callie," Cristina told her friend reassuringly.

"Okay then," Callie said getting back to business, "Have Candy get Dr. Robbins ready for me."

"No problem, Callie," Cristina said as Callie strode to a huge walk in closet. She heard Cristina tell Candy to prepare Arizona for her appointment.

"You have about 15 minutes or so," Cristina informed entering the closet to find Callie staring intently at the collection in her closet.

"Plenty of time," she stated, "Help me pick out an outfit to wear."

"Oh yay!" Cristina said bored, "A clothing montage is a dream come true."

"Shut up and help," Callie said nervously, "It's been awhile!"

"Okay, okay," Cristina acquiesced, "But since I do this for a living, no questions or complaints!"

"Yes ma'am," Callie responded wryly.

"I can't work with you breathing down my neck!" Cristina complained.

"What. I'm not," Callie replied indignantly.

"Whatever," Cristina said with a dismissive wave of her hand, "Go do your make up and let the master work."

"Fine but I don't want to look like Morticia Adams," Callie instructed before leaving.

"Yeah, yeah," Cristina grumbled shooing Callie away, "Morticia Adams is hot." Callie stripped naked donning her gray silk robe while she prepared her make up. Callie began her preparation with her long, dark tresses pulling it back and twisting it into a severe styled bun. She contemplated whether or not to pull it back into a pony tail but decided the bun was more optimal for the part as well as for the work since it wouldn't interfere with the job she had to do. Then she set about her make up. She applied a powder base, followed by a foundation to even out her appearance. She then used primer, eye liner, and eye shadow to give her eyes the smoky bedroom eyes. She completed her look with a darker shade of red lipstick. She surveyed her artwork and was satisfied with her look. She felt she look tough yet sexy, controlled, and totally in charge.

"_Yeah,_" she thought regarding herself appreciatively in the mirror, "_I still got it_!" Callie got up realizing it was taking Cristina awhile to pick out her outfit. Cristina's delay could mean one of two things. The first option was that Cristina was taking so long because she didn't feel any Callie's wardrobe was sufficient enough. It _had_ been awhile. Or, Cristina was feeling like a kid in a candy store not sure what to pick out. Callie hoped the end result would be that she looked fantastic. It was imperative that she make a mark with her appearance.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Welcome to My Parlor Said the Spider to the Fly

Once Candy received the call from upstairs, it was her responsibility to prepare the client for the upcoming session.

"Ms. Robbins," Candy called out, "I'm going to take you down and get you ready." Arizona stood up following Candy down a hallway. At the end of the hallway, there seemed to be a kitchen area but that wasn't where she was headed. Candy opened the door leading to the stairs. It was softly lit so you could see your way down safely. Arizona peppered Candy with questions feeling nerves settle in the pit of her belly like a nest of bees. Candy stopped at the bottom of the stairs waiting for Arizona. Once she did, Candy turned around giving Arizona a hard stare.

"It will be a lot easier on you if you learn quickly to speak only when spoken to," Candy said abruptly. Arizona was a little taken aback by the shift in Candy's demeanor, so she didn't respond. Candy resume walking with Arizona following behind her trying to figure out what was going on. Being in control was something Arizona needed. Control was like heroin to her and she was hooked. That was part of the reason she became interested in the services Velvet had to offer. She noticed two black doors on each side of the hallway making a total of four rooms. Candy led her to room number four unlocking the door going inside. Arizona didn't immediately follow. She gave her brain the command, but her brain was staging a rebellion making her legs feel like cinder blocks. Candy turned around to say something but stopped at the look of apprehension on Arizona's face.

"You're nervous or scared, probably both," she said sympathetically, "I was too my first time but trust me, you are in good hands here."

"You've done this before," Arizona asked timidly.

"Many times," Candy replied truthfully, "The first time was the hardest but the staff here are very professional and excellent at what they do."

"Okay," Arizona replied stepping over the threshold into the room.

"Good," Candy complimented getting back to business, "In the bathroom, you'll find an outfit. It was included in your registration fees so it is yours to keep and care for." Arizona was curiously scanning her surroundings but Candy was herding her into the bathroom.

"If you need assistance, just let me know," Candy said before shutting the door on Arizona. Being alone, Arizona was afforded the chance to survey the bathroom. It was luxurious to say the least. The flooring and counter tops were slate colored granite. The walls were a lighter shade of gray. There was a soaking tub and shower next to each other. To the left was a sink, and to the right was a toilet, and a bidet. Arizona noticed a black box sitting on the sink. She opened it to find her outfit. It was made of black leather. It was soft, and suppled not the kind that made it hard to move, and creaked when you walked. The inside was lined with silk. It was very pleasing to the touch and Arizona wondered if it would be comfortable on. After some finagling, Arizona was able to get the outfit on. The top portion fit much like a tank top would with straps over her shoulders but the difference was it was completely open from her back down to her butt. There was a leather strap that fastened to the other side just below her buttocks securing the outfit from flapping around. Essentially, what she was wearing was a female version of chaps. She came out of the bathroom fidgeting with modesty. Candy looked her over in approval.

"I see you managed to get your spanking skirt on correctly," she noted, "How does it fit?"

"It's a little drafty in the back kinda like a hospital gown, ha ha," Arizona rambled nervously. Candy ignored Arizona's rambles turning her around to tighten the strap below her ass continuing with her instructions.

"Over there," she said pointing to a room with a two way mirror, "Is the observation room."

"Wait," Arizona stopped alarmed, "Someone will be watching what goes on in here?"

"Yes," Candy answered, "One person will be working with you while another observes to ensure the safety of everyone involved. The observer will only intervene if things get out of hand."

"Out of hand?" Arizona croaked inadvertently backing up towards the door, "How often is intervention required?" Candy looked Arizona squarely in the eyes before replying, "Never," she said seriously. Arizona took the information in assuaged for the time being.

"You will wait here," Candy said indicating a throw rug on the floor. Arizona moved to stand in the cnter of the rug.

"No," Candy said shaking her head, "You will wait here on your knees with you back to the door," she clarified. Arizona gulped audibly before sinking down to her knees. The act of compliance signaled the point of no return. She wouldn't back out now.

"When you are finished, feel free to use the bathroom for as long as you need," Candy instructed, "Once you are finished there is an intercom system that calls me directly. You will wait until I come to escort you out. We do this to ensure your privacy so you don't accidentally bump into another client on your way out. Do you understand?"

"Sure. Get dressed, wait on this rug, call you when I'm done," Arizona listed off her instructions.

"Yes or no will be sufficient," Candy said sharply rolling her eyes at Arizona.

"Yes," Arizona responded quickly to correct herself, "_What happened to the perky, bubbly Candy from upstairs,_" she wondered in silence.

"Good," Candy said heading to the door, "Someone will be with you shortly...oh and good luck." With those parting words, Candy was out the door.

Finally alone, Arizona was able to study the room in detail. She was on a thick carpet a few feet from the entrance to the room. The walls were a deep shade of purple. To her immediate left was a black leather sofa and a black love seat in an L shaped configuration. The floor underneath the carpet was fake marbled linoleum. To her right a little ways ahead was a four poster bed with various methods of restraints attached to it. Next to the bed, hanging off a re-purposed coat rack were various tools of the trade. Arizona was able to recognize some of the things hanging on the wall, but she shuddered at the sight of the things she could not place. There were multiple racks hanging in various places throughout the room. It almost looked like stations. One station had some sort of bench. Arizona guessed she'd find out what was for eventually. In the corner, closest to the observation room was a cross like contraption that had O rings attached to each corner. That was a little bit daunting to Arizona.

While Arizona looked around thinking she was alone, Callie and Cristina watched her behavior from the confines of the observation room.

"You got your work cut out for you with this one Callie," Cristina commented.

"Type A control freak are just my specialty," she said rubbing her hands together eagerly, "God, I've missed the feeling of taking someone down a notch."

"Go get her tiger!" Cristina cheered her friend, "I got this," she said indicating the observation room. Callie exited the room into the hallway. She approached Arizona's room, gripped the handle, opening the door slowly without making a sound. Arizona was startled out of her musings by a soft, commanding voice behind her.

"You will not look at me unless I tell you to," the voice said softly. Arizona was surprised by how enticing and sensual the voice was. It made her want to look really bad, but she didn't. She kept her eyes glued toa piece of carpet. It seemed like her other senses had heightened. She heard the click of the door catching, and the rasp of a lock being turned. She heard the woman's heel click loudly on the floor, and knew when she reached the carpet when she could no longer hear her footsteps. She smelled the woman as she stood behind her. She carried the subtle smell of sandle wood, and sage. Then she felt the woman's eyes as the raked across her exposed body. Arizona could feel the woman's body head emanating from her as she approached her. Arizona gasped in surprise when she felt a leather collar being strapped around her neck.

"You _will_ speak when spoken to, and you _will _address me as ma'am," the woman commanded in the same quiet voice, "Do you understand?"

"Yes," Arizona answered too quickly causing the other woman to expel a disappointed sigh. Arizona immediately knew what she did wrong but didn't know how to go about fixing it.

"You will learn my pet," the woman said displeasure seeping out in her tone. Arizona cringed internally. The calm tone of her voice reminded Arizona of when she was a child being told by one of her parents that they were disappointed in her. She would have preferred to be yelled at or spanked. Instinctively Arizona wanted to please the stranger. Callie sensed a shift in Arizona's demeanor which she thought indicated a desire to submit. Callie decided to test her theory taking it up a notch. Arizona kept her eyes on the floor even when she felt the woman's movements next to her. Callie fastened a leash with a click to the collar around Arizona's neck. She moved in front of Arizona pulling the leash taut causing Arizona to tumble forward on her hands and knees. She was face to face with the other womans black leather riding boots complete with a set of silver spurs on the heel. She didn't get to admire the boots for long.

"Kiss them," she ordered simply causing Arizona's temper to flare.

"_Who does this lady think that she is_," she thought angrily to herself. Callie laughed at the woman's internal struggle knowing it would be difficult for the other woman to do. That is precisely why she asked her to do it. Callie could tell there was something in Arizona that wanted to give it up but the type A control freak in her didn't know how. Callie was going to show her how.

"Did you hear me pet?" she asked her voice holding a subtle threat.

"Yes ma'am," Arizona said through clenched teeth.

"You _will_ kiss my boot one way or the other," she said plainly, "I'm asking you nicely. It won't be nice if I make you do it." Arizona gritted her teeth together, slowly bringing her lips to the shiny, black boot. She stopped an inch away struggling with herself. She did it quickly to get it over with and closer to what she wanted to accomplish.

"Good girl," her mistress said as if complimenting her dog, "Come now," she said tugging the leash pulling Arizona along. Following behind on her hands and knees, Arizona finally got to see who she was dealing with. The woman had dark hair but Arizona couldn't tell how long it was because was tied up in a severe looking bun. She was wearing the black boots which were knee high. Her long legs were encased in black stockings with a seam running up the back. The stockings were attached to her curvy hips by a black lace garter belt. She had on black satin opera gloves that covered her skin up to her elbows. Black lace panties covered her shapely ass. The entire outfit was topped off by a black leather corset that laced together in the back.

"_Wow_," Arizona thought to herself in admiration, "S_he takes her job seriously, and she is seriously hot at least from behind._" The woman led her over to the couch against the wall. Arizona was perpendicular to the couch. Callie sat down on the sofa using Arizona's back as a foot rest.

"_What the fuck_?" Arizona seethed internally, "_This is not what I am here for_!" The anger caused her body to tense up which didn't escape Callie's attention so she decided to call her on it.

"Something wrong, pet?" Callie wondered.

"No ma'am," Arizona said stressing the ma'am part with an attitude.

"Good," Callie said allowing the spur on her heel to dig into the tender skin of Arizona's back.

"I'm gong to explain to you how our relationship is going to work, review your specific preferences, and go over safety with you," Callie explained to the woman literally at her feet.

"Thank me," Callie ordered with a prod of her spur which caused Arizona to hiss softly.

"Thank you ma'am," Arizona replied.

"The first thing you need to know is while there may be sexual aspects to our sessions, this is not about nor will it ever be a sexual relationship," she said sharply, "Do you understand?"

"Yes ma'am," Arizona answered quickly.

"Good," Callie said before continuing, "Your first session usually lasts from an hour and a half to two hours. Every other session will be one hour. Time is kept by my partner in the booth." Arizona looked over to the booth noticing that there were three lights about the one way glass similar to that of a stop light.

"Green initiates the session, yellow will flash on fifteen minute intervals, and red closes the session," Callie explained, "I _will not_ stop unless directed to do so by you," Callie paused purposefully allowing the information to sink in fully.

"I'm verrry good to my pets," Callie purred sensually," So I will check in with you from time to time but I _will not _stop," she stressed again.

"Do you have a safe word?" Callie asked.

"Yes ma'am," Arizona replied.

"What is your safe word?" Callie questioned even though she already knew the answer from reading it in Arizona's file. She wanted Arizona to say it out loud. Arizona thought long and hard about what her safe word should be. When she was hurting, one of the things she turned to for comfort was dough nuts, so she figured that would be as good a word as any.

"Dough nuts, ma'am," she answered.

"Dough nuts," Callie repeated shaking her head, "So if something gets to be too much for you to handle, what will make me stop?"

"Dough nuts ma'am," Arizona repeated her safe word. To herself, she knew there would be no amount of physical pain that would ever make those words come out of her mouth. Because if something in her life made her desperate enough to do something like this, nothing could stop the monster of pain when it reared its ugly head. Arizona had yet to completely exorcise the monster from within. She didn't know exactly what made the monster appear. She just knew that she had a huge heart. When you have a big heart like Arizona's, you love big, and when you have a heart as big as Arizona's, you hurt just as big as well. So far, she'd only found things to appease the monster, but the peace was short lived, and it came back fiercer and hungrier than ever. That was why she was certain she'd never use her safe word.

"Pay attention," Callie snapped digging her heel in some more.

"Sorry, ma'am," Arizona apologized for getting lost in her thoughts.

"You indicated that safe zones on your body are your legs down to your knees, your buttocks, and back," Callie asked reading out of her file. Callie realized that being a surgeon, Arizona couldn't afford to have anything interfere with her ability to operate, so she chose her safe areas wisely.

"Yes ma'am," Arizona responded.

"You also indicate that you do not want anything that would require medical attention or leave a permanent mark," Callie continued reading.

"Yes ma'am," Arizona agreed.

"Don't worry pet," Callie said stroking Arizona's hair reassuringly, "I won't do anything to mess up that creamy, delicious skins of yours but sitting, yeah that's going to be a problem." So Callie had her parameters to operate within. She could discipline her anywhere from shoulder to knees as hard as she wanted to as long as it didn't cut her deep enough to need stitches or leave a permanent scar. Now she just needed to determine what instruments Arizona would be amenable to having used on her. Callie stood up brusquely tugging Arizona's leash in the direction of one of the stations adorned with tools on the wall.

"Are you familiar with these pet?" Callie inquired.

"Some ma'am," Arizona replied truthfully. Callie could tell Arizona was straining to see from her position on the floor.

"You may stand," she allowed graciously.

"Thank you ma'am," Arizona said rising to her feet. Joints cracked loudly as they released the built up gases being in one position for so long caused. Arizona surveyed the wall intently. There were whips, riding crops, paddles, paddles with holes in them, paddles with words stamped into them, leather straps, belts, bamboo canes, even a yard stick but Callie noted Arizona paying more attention to one or two items dangling from the wall.

"This is a cat o nine tails," Callie said reverence in her voice, "It was the main form of discipline used by the British army and navy. In the wrong hands, it can tear the flesh right off. In fact, using this was so damaging it became against the rules to use it on younger boys. Instead they used a strap. Hence the term 'strapping young man," Callie told Arizona.

"Lucky for you I know what I am doing," she said putting it back on its hook. She picked up another one that Arizona's eyes rested on for more than a few seconds. It's handle was about 12 inches long made of leather. The end split into many different tails also leather more pliant than the handle.

"This is called a tawse," Callie educated Arizona, "Main form of discipline in the Scottish educational system." She picked up a strip of broad, heavy leather with a hard wooden handle.

"This is the called the strap, or as I like to call it Daddy's belt," she continued her lessen, "It was used mainly in prisons."

"This is a birch rod," she said holding up a bundle of leafless twigs bound tightly together by string, "This eventually took the place on the cat o nine tails in the British navy."

"And last but not least, one of my personal favorites the Quirts viper," she held up a potent little whip designed to inflict intense stinging pain shaped like a giant Y, "It makes such a lovely sound when it hits the body." Callie knew Arizona was not the least bit interested in the history behind many of the tools used for discipline, but that is not why she did it. She wanted to add a psychological component to Arizona's session today by delaying the act that Arizona desperately seemed to want and creating anticipation to the point where it almost becomes unbearable.

"Do you have any objections to any of these," she indicated moving her hand in a sweeping motions. Arizona forgot her place for a moment looking at Callie as she answered the question.

"No ma'am," she replied getting a good look at the woman in front of her. She was absolutely stunning. Her figure was accentuated by the bindings of the corset pushing her breasts up high and tight. Her skin was the color of caramel making Arizona wonder where she was from. Her eyes were a rich mysterious brown. Her make up accentuated the mystery giving her a sultry quality. Callie's plump lips were pursed together in an attempt not to laugh. She placed her hand on her hips in annoyance.

"Get your fill now pet," she said posing in order for Arizona to look closely at her, "After today it is going to cost you."

"Sorry ma'am," Arizona replied trying to correct her mistake.

"What exactly are you sorry for hmm?" Callie pondered, "Are you sorry for looking or are you sorry you got caught looking."

"No ma'am, I am not sorry for looking," Arizona said boldly.

"You're sorry you got caught?" Callie asked to clarify.

"Yes ma'am," Arizona replied. Callie eyeballed Arizona until the intensity of her stare began to make Arizona squirm.

"Down," Callie ordered Arizona back down to her hands and knees. She grabbed the leash again leading Arizona to the play area that had the odd looking bench. It was near the wall and there were alls sorts of clasps and rings of varying heights locked into the wall. Callie adjusted the position of the bench slightly.

"Kneel here," she ordered. Arizona complied.

"Lean forward with your chest against upper rest," Callie instructed, "Put your hands out in front of you." Arizona did as she was told to do. Callie knew from reading up on Arizona that she was okay with being bound so she took some soft restraints binding her hands out in front of her. She then clasped the cuffed hands to the wall in front of her. Callie felt this was the safest position for Arizona given her specific boundaries. If Callie came at her from the side, there was no chance she'd get Arizona's arms.

"I need to establish a baseline of your tolerance," Callie told Arizona, "I will not go against your wishes but if it gets too intense, you will use your safety word."

"Yes ma'am," Arizona responded her voice muffled because the position she was in made it hard for her to turn her head.

"If you have any questions, now is the time to ask," Callie offered Arizona one last chance to back out.

"No ma'am," Arizona answered.

"Okay," Callie said walking across the floor her heels echoing loudly as she walked, "Let's get started shall we?" Arizona heard the scrape of something being removed off the wall. It was killing her that she couldn't see what was coming for her first. Her body was coiled taut like a rattle snake preparing to strike. Every muscle was strained in response to what was coming. Callie approached Arizona slowly drawing it out. She then took her tool running it slowly and sensually up one of Arizona's legs, across her back and back down the other leg.

"_Wait,_" Arizona's mind screamed in confusion, "_What is that? It feels like a feather_." Callie made several swipes with the feather forcing Arizona's body into a relaxed state. The moment she felt the shift from tension to relaxation, Callie switched tools bringing the hand holding Daddy's belt down hard across Arizona's upper thighs. The sound of leather on skis was like music to Callie, she loved hearing it. Arizona initially jumped at the first strike, but then didn't move a muscle. Callie started off with minimal strength gaging Arizona's physical and mental reaction. Once she realized Arizona was okay, she knew she could take it up a notch. She released a barrage of strikes on right after the other each one harder than the next until she got a reaction out of Arizona. The hardest blow caused Arizona to cry out. She tried to hold it in but the pain was very intense. It wasn't intense enough to use her safe word, but it let Callie know just how much Arizona could take. Callie repeated the procedure with most of her tools except for the bull whip and cat o nine tails. With each instrument, Callie pushed and pushed. Arizona kept her eyes locked tight picturing in her mind what motivated her to be here over and over. Eventually, the pain went away physically and emotionally. Logically, Arizona knew her body was doing its job by releasing the body's natural pain killers, endorphins. She was also fairly certain she would hurt once they wore off.

"_Good_," she thought stubbornly, "_It will be good to have a daily reminder."_ Callie worked up quite a sweat once she got into her rhythm. There was no sound in the room except for the crack of flesh being struck, the occasional grunts of exertion from Callie, or the even rarer groans of pain from Arizona. Callie stopped to survey her work. She was satisfied with the angry, red welts that were scattered across Arizona's body. She felt Arizona could take more, but she decided to ease her into more. She wanted Arizona to come back because truthfully, Callie thought Arizona was one of the most complex yet beautiful woman alive. It didn't help that she could get a read on Arizona's motivation for coming to Velvet. That drove her nuts. Callie cleaned up her area dropping her tools into a basket that Candy would come get in order to clean then and sterilize them for the next client. After doing that, she tended to Arizona releasing her arms from their bindings. Arizona slumped over the bench physically drained.

"Look at me," Callie commanded. Even though Callie sounded so far away, Arizona tried her best to do what she was being asked. Her neck was like Jello so she turned it to the side so she could look at Callie. Callie looked deep into Arizona's eyes to assess Arizona's emotional state. Callie's penetrating gaze was met with eyes crystal blue with clarity. The demons that plagued Arizona laid dormant. Callie knew the session had been successful. But she also knew Arizona was a prideful, driven woman whose demons, for whatever reason would return more blood thirsty than ever. Callie was certain she would see Arizona again. Callie stood in front of her again with her hands on her hips.

"Don't you have something to say?" she asked as a reminder.

"Thank you ma'am," Arizona rasped her mouth dry.

"And?" she clicked her heel on the floor indicating what Arizona still needed to do. Arizona somehow found it inside herself to push forward off the bench. She kissed the boot offered collapsing in a gelatinous heap on Callie's feet. Callie groaned in disgust shifting to get Arizona off her feet. Arizona laid on the floor allowing the coolness to soothe the stinging welts as Callie left the room.

Cristina poked her head of the door way to congratulate her friend.

"How does it feel?" she inquired.

"I'd forgotten the rush, the, the high you get from doing a good job," Callie gushed, "I feel like I could take on the world, and win!"

"Whoa, Trigger," Cristina warned, "Don't let it get to your head. How about we take on Joe's instead of the entire world?"

"Sounds like a plan," Callie agreed, "How is she?"

"Still laying on the floor," Cristina answered, "She'll be okay."

"I wasn't too hard on her?" she asked second guessing herself.

"Nah," Cristina responded, "She could've taken more but you both need to be ready."

"You're right," Callie agreed, "Well I'm off to shower and get on my dancing shoes! Meet me upstairs when you wrap up." Not waiting for an answer, Callie took the elevator up to her office.

Arizona didn't know how long she laid on the bare floor. It took some time for the fire on her back, butt, and legs to diminish. She rolled onto her stomach forcing herself onto her hands and knees. Once she was steady in that position, she moved to just her knees, then to her feet. She stumbled her way to the bathroom. She turned the shower on letting the water run until she got undressed. She stepped into the shower immediately sucking her teeth at the searing pain the hot water created. She adjusted the temperature down to something tolerable. Once she was comfortable, Arizona picked up a soft wash cloth, pouring a generous amount of body wash onto the rag. The body wash assaulted her sense of smell making Arizona curious as to what the ingredients were. One of the main ingredients in the body wash was aloe vera.

"_Hmm_," she mused to herself, "_They really think of everything here_." She gingerly washed her sore body taking longer in the shower than usual. Once she was done, she dried off with care. It was then she saw the effects of Callie's ministrations. Welts of various sizes and shapes criss crossed the expanse of her body from her shoulders to her knees. They looked angrier and redder after being doused with hot water. For a moment, Arizona was stunned at herself for allowing desperation to rule her behaviors. She shook it off quickly before the guilt and reproach got its hooks back into her. Truthfully, Arizona felt freer than she ever could remember. If all it took for her to feel unencumbered was some welts, and bruises, then it was worth it to her. She wasn't hurting anyone. Arizona dressed herself in a worn set of scrubs that she packed away in her bag. She placed the soiled towel and wash rag in the basket, and buzzed for Candy. Candy escorted Arizona out using the rear exit. Arizona opened the metal door for once feeling worthy of stepping into the light.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Death Is The Only True Escape Mechanism**

Weeks flew by turning into months without incident for Arizona. The beast lay deep in hibernation. Arizona had no idea what triggers could rouse the beast. They remained out of reach and hidden beneath the surface like ice bergs hidden beneath the dark ocean. In the meantime, Arizona tried her best to enjoy her life. She worked hard, fighting hard for the kids who couldn't do it on their own, and she played hard. She was putting herself out there in the dating world but so far nothing panned out in the romance department. She felt the stirrings of happiness fluttering in her chest like a butterfly flapping its wings. However, the day would come when the beast awoke laying waste to anything in its path. That day started like any other. Arizona got up, preparing for work. Once at work, she did her rounds. She was charting in her office when she was paged 911 to the emergency room. She was met in the ER by a grim faced trauma surgeon.

"What do we got Dr. Hunt?" she said allowing herself to become emotionally detached.

"Fuel truck versus a school bus filled with pre-schoolers," he responded, "We've got burn injuries to complicate matters more.

"Shit," Arizona expelled loudly donning the sterile gear in preparation for the onslaught of tiny victims. Every available doctor waited at the ambulance bay each lost in thought at the small lives that were at stake. They waited in silence, until they heard the shrill wail of a siren in the distance. Arizona and Owen waited together agreeing to take p point. The door of the first ambulance swung open, the paramedic rushing out to help Owen get the patient out.

"What do we got?' Arizona asked calmly.

"Rowan Smith, age six, closed fracture of the radius. Laceration to the forehead and cheek. Vitals are stable," the medic rattled off the girls stats.

"Kepner," Arizona delegated, "Take her to exam room one."

"Yes, Dr. Robbins," Kepner said taking over for Owen pushing the patient through the doors of the hospital.

"What was the scene like?" Arizona questioned the driver of the ambulance.

"According to one of the teachers on the bus, the driver lost consciousness, ran a stoplight and T-boned the fuel truck," he answered, "We were first on scene. The kids were being evacuated out of the back but the tanker exploded, and we had to wait until firefighters extinguished the fire."

"How many kids are there?" she asked.

"They were trying to finalize the count when we left," he replied.

"Any DOA's," she wondered.

"Only confirmed DOA was the bus driver," he said quickly.

"Move your bus," she ordered the driver as the another ambulance drove up.

"Adam Snow, age four, lost consciousness en route. Blood from his ears and nose. Abnormal breath sounds on the left side," the paramedic stated efficiently.

"Shepherd and Bailey," Owen instructed suspecting internal injuries to the body as well as to the brain. Ambulances continued to pour in with patients sometimes doubling up as kids were evacuated out of the school bus. Arizona and Owen triaged all the patients until the last ambulance was empties. Both were heading inside to lend a hand when a frantic nurse rushed out with some grim news.

"They found one more Dr. Robbins," she said her voice rising in panic, "The count was off so the firefighters did another sweep. They found him curled up under a seat," she finished out of breath. Arizona and Owen turned around prepared to meet this last ambulance. Owen was opening the door before the ambulance even stopped. The paramedic jumped out holding an IV bag.

"This is Mitchell Hansen, age 5," she began steadily listing his demographic information, "Intubated en route, broken femur stabilized on scene. I'm guesstimating using the rule of nine's that he has third degree burns covering 60% of his body, 10% of his body is covered in fourth degree burns," she continued as they rushed into the hospital. "Lactated ringers given at 250 milliliters per hour, dressing applied to burn with sterile water," the medic finished.

"Get him on a heart monitor now," Arizona ordered as she was listening to his heart, "Continue oxygen flow 100% saturation," she said performing her assessment of the patient.

"Was he conscious when you found him," she asked the medic concerned about a possible head injury.

"Yes, he was," she responded, "He remained alert but confused."

"Mitchell," Arizona said calmly, "My name is Dr. Robbins. I'm going to take care of you. Can you blink once if you can hear me?" Arizona waited a moment, then two until finally the boy blinked. Following commands was a good indication that neurological functioning was intact.

"Mitchell, you are being so brave," she said encouragingly looking into the boys eyes seeing complete faith and trust in her, "I need to check your eyes with this light okay?" Mitchell blinked once in understanding. It was then she first noticed how crystal blue his eyes were, some would say just like her own. She looked more carefully at the little boy. Although his hair was pretty much burned off his scalp, there was a couple of errant patches here and there on his head.

"_Blond just like mine_," she thought to herself. She immediately felt the vice like grip of panic seize her chest constricting her flow of oxygen. Her pen light fell to the floor with a clatter.

"Heart rate dropping," Karev said urgently to Arizona. She could hear someone calling her name trying to get her attention but it was muffled like being under water. Karev finally grabbed her by the shoulders shaking her firmly. She snapped out of it like she never missed a beat barking order to her staff.

"Add another line of f fluids KVO," she shouted to a nearby nurse, "He's hyperkalemic," she said referring to a serious complication from the burns where potentially lethal levels of potassium gets released into the blood stream.

"V fib," Alex called out watching the boy's heart monitor.

"Get the paddles ready now," she commanded while praying that the influx of fluids would dilute the level of potassium in his blood stream.

"A-systole," Alex said confirming her worst fears.

"Damn it!" she exclaimed, "Charging. Clear," she said before shocking the boy watching his tiny body leap off the bed as jolts of electricity coursed through his body.

"No change," Alex told her.

"300," she called out her order.

"Charging to 300," the nurse confirmed.

"Clear," Arizona said again before shocking at the boy looking at Alex hopefully.

"Nothing," he said.

"Again," she told the nurse going through the same process. The only sound in the room was the constant drone of the boy's heart machine still indicating a flat line.

"Do it again," she said. Arizona shocked him another time. She was desperate to save this boy. It was as if her very life depended on it.

"Charge again," she instructed the nurse. The nurse just looked at her blankly.

"What are you waiting for," she shouted angrily, "I said charge the paddles damn it." Alex motioned every out of the room. Arizona felt something wet splash down her arm rolling down to her hand. She looked to see what it was realizing she was crying. Alex took the paddles out of her hands putting them back on the machine.

"Time of death 1:17pm," he called the cessation of the code. Arizona stared at the lifeless body in front of her as feelings she couldn't name raced through her body lodging firmly into her heart. She shut off the offending machine, and pulled a sheet over his tiny, battered body. Deep within the recesses of her soul, the beast was stirring from its slumber. It was stretching its sinewy arms testing its potential. The same nurse that didn't listen to her orders came into the room to let her know the boy's parents had arrived.

"I got this Dr. Robbins," Alex volunteered.

"No," she said flatly, "I couldn't save him. I'll be the one to tell them."

"Should I take them..." the nurse started but before she could finish Arizona interrupted her.

"What you should do is get this boy cleaned up," she said spitefully, "Can you at least manage that?" She didn't wait for the nurse to respond. She brushed past the nurse shoulder checking her on the way out. The beast within her was definitely wide awake now fangs barred, ready to strike. Arizona managed to keep her composure long enough to speak with his parent's with respect and compassion. She left them to tend to their grief while she found a way to deal with her own. She was feeling caged in, the beast and Arizona fusing into one. She needed to escape, and quick. She made her way through the halls passing by people in a blur. She vaguely heard Teddy ask her something as she passed by.  
>"Not now Teddy," she said harshly raising her hand dismissively in the air not caring to notice the stunned, hurt expression on her friend's face. She ran up the stairs to the roof so fast her lunged screamed with exertion. She reached the metal door to the roof pushing it open so hard it slammed with a bang against the outside wall. She stumbled outside catching herself with her left hand before she actually fell. She hissed when her hand came in contact with a shard of broken glass. She inspected her hand, watching the blood seep out around the edges of the glass before pulling it out with a grunt. Arizona watched the blood run over her palm down to her wrist. She had the insane urge to lick the blood clean off her body. Arizona knew what she had to do. Digging her cellphone out of her lab coat, Arizona made the call.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Darkness Is Cheap And Scrooge Liked It**

"Arizona's appointment is today," Cristina cast out a line fishing for information from her unusually introspective boss.

"I know," Callie replied nonchalantly not looking up from her work. Callie could feel Cristina's penetrating glare like two pinpoints of heat burning into her skull. She looked up at Cristina.

"Whattt?" she asked a little bit exasperated.

"Is it because she is a doctor," Cristina asked, "Because I know you Callie and she has gotten to you so I am asking you is it because she is a doctor?"

"You know what," Callie answered irritably, "Maybe that is part of it. I don't know, ya know?"

"Nooo, I don't know," Cristina replied.

"Okay, take Dan Snow for example," she began talking fast before she lost her reasoning, "You beat him and he moans getting an immediate erection."

"Yeah," Cristina said catching on, "He probably beats off as soon as he is alone."

"Right, so for him it is obviously a turn on," she agreed, "Then there is Suzanne Reed."

"She seems to be exploring something within herself," Cristina expounded.

"That is not her either," she said shaking her head, "Or she would have started with something less intense and worked her way up."

"It is not our job to figure out why Callie," she warned, "We give them what they want for whatever reason they want and they pay us nicely for it. That is all."

"I know," she said defensively.

"We don't get involved because it is dangerous!" Cristina continued to drive the point home. Callie sighed heavily knowing that Cristina was right.

"You're right," she conceded.

"Yep, and I am awesome,"Cristina bragged, "Now go get your ass ready! We got some _work_ to do and we wouldn't want to keep your little pet waiting."

"Thanks Cristina," Callie said gratefully.

"Eww, shut up," Cristina said disdainfully.

"Yeah, yeah," Callie said walking away from her friend to get ready, "You know you love me."

Arizona sat on her knees in the dungeon waiting for Callie exhausted in every way possible to keep the beast from ripping her to shreds with its razor like claws from the inside out. She was too exhausted, too numb to feel. Anything good or bad. That is what the beast does. She was too far gone to even hear the clasp of the door catching the lock. She was brought out of her haze when Callie spoke to her.

"I knew you couldn't stay away my pet," she said condescendingly. Arizona seethed internally thinking to herself, "_You don't know anything about me. You have no idea what I am capable of_." But she didn't because she knew it would delay getting what she wanted. Callie saw the challenge rise from Arizona but noticed it was immediately squelched. Callie did her best to ignore the questions bombarding her brain hooking the collar and leash around her pet's neck.

"Do you remember the rules," Callie asked.

"Yes ma'am," Arizona said quickly.

"Good," Callie said approvingly, "But you have forgotten something, pet." Callie tugged the leash hard while standing in front of Arizona. Arizona crashed face first into Callie's foot. She was wearing black stiletto heels with a closed toe. Arizona placed a kiss on the exposed portion of Callie's foot. Satisfied, Callie led Arizona past the area with the spanking bench to a cross shaped structure built into the wall.

"Get up," she ordered. Sensing Arizona's hesitation, Callie pounced taking the end of the leash slapping it soundly against Arizona's exposed behind.

"I said get up," she shouted harshly. Arizona stood up with her back to Callie.

"Turn around, and keep your eyes on the floor," she commanded coldly. Arizona paused deliberately in defiance hoping to earn herself a punishment for disobeying.

"Mmm," Callie chastised, "That is going to cost you but I think that is exactly what you want." Callie pushed Arizona roughly into the cross. Grabbing her right arm, Callie latched it to the cuff hanging from the cross. She bound all her limbs against the cross.

"You look so delicious on my cross, pet," Callie said walking towards the tools hanging off the wall. Arizona took the chance afforded to her looking over Callie. She was wearing a black latex cat suit that literally looked like it was spray painted onto her body. The stiletto's she wore brought her to a towering height and her long, dark hair flowed freely down her back. Callie perused the objects on the wall carefully, delaying the very thing Arizona so desperately wanted. She found something suitable for Arizona turning back to Arizona. Arizona looked away just in time or if Callie noticed, she didn't acknowledge. She reintroduced the object in her hand to Arizona.

"This is my viper," she said lovingly, "It is going to love you." Callie caressed the expanse of Arizona's exposed skin with the viper waiting for Arizona's body to inevitably relax before tearing into her. The thing inside her wanted to struggle, it wanted to lash out against Callie but Arizona managed to keep the last piece of her sanity intact. If the beast was unleashed, it would be counterproductive to her goal. With the first strike of lightening upon her upper thighs, Arizona let go trusting completely in Callie's capabilities. Callie was her beast master, she just didn't know it. Callie worked her front first, then switching to her back. She checked in verbally with Arizona periodically but she also assessed Arizona's non-verbal cues as well. Particularly focusing on her eyes. She realized her job was done by the look in them. Arizona's eyes were clear, bright blue and not the listless washed out blue she had when she first came in that day. Prior to the session, it was like something had forced Arizona out of her own body possessing her. But Callie could tell, Arizona was back, that she was in there. Arizona felt calm, at peace, and happy. Of course, she was exhausted but grateful to to have any feelings at all. Callie released Arizona ending their session with their parting ritual of kissing Callie's feet in appreciation. Callie left without another word leaving Arizona to scrape herself off the floor. There may be pain in her physical body, but her spirit felt clean once again.

**Funny things my son has said recently.**

"Mama, your legs are poking me to death, you need to go take a bath right now." (last night)

"Mama come look, I made a man turd."

To his other mommy because she lets him get away with murder, "I'm not telling you that you are stupid, I'm telling you that you look stupid."

To his teacher who was trying to correct his behavior, "Why I'm already in the red?" They have levels, green, yellow, and red. He was already in the red. LMAO

Sorry for any typos! Please review because I take all into account when writing the story. If there is something that is confusing, I will do my best to work it out. Reviews honestly make my story better. Now I am off to take care of my prickly legs!


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Dem Bones, Dem Bones**

There is no way to guard yourself against fate. There is no suit of armor you can put on that will protect you from it. Fate is omnipotent knowing all your fears and joys. It knows what makes you weak, and what makes you strong. Fate can manipulate them all at once if the time is right. You're like a pawn in a chess game helplessly maneuvered about the board by fate's hand. While fate can not be controlled entirely, it can be influenced by our God given right of free will. Our fate becomes sealed by the choices we make.

Arizona's fate was cemented into being one Wednesday when she decided to take an extra shift in the ER on her day off. Callie's fate was solidified that same day when she chose to wear a Jimmy Choo sling back heel to a business meeting, and when she chose to walk from the meeting to her favorite coffee shop down the block. Fate supplied the sewer grate that caught Callie's heel, breaking it off, and twisting her ankle terribly. A nice gentleman helped an embarrassed Callie up off the ground, hailed her a cab, and helped her into it. As fate would have it, Seattle Grace Mercy West was the closest emergency room, and that was where fate would collide. Callie never gave a second thought to potentially bumping into Arizona since she was pediatric surgeon. Callie hobbled into the ER, registering with the nurse at front desk. She waited about 40 minutes before an aide came for her with a wheel chair. She was wheeled into an empty room. A nurse came in to get her vitals promising a doctor would be in to examine her shortly. About 15 minutes later, a mousy looking doctor by the name of Kepner appeared opening the curtained partition into her room. Callie was restating what happened and her symptoms when her eyes caught sight of a smiling, blond doctor walking in her general direction. Arizona finished consulting with Avery on a case sending him on his way. She glanced quickly at the ER doing a double take. Arizona saw Callie, and Callie knew it.

"Oh shit," she bellowed startling an already nervous Dr. Kepner. Arizona sauntered over to her while Callie could do nothing but watch. She grabbed Callie's chart off the bed perusing the contents.

"_So, that is her real name,_" Arizona reflected, "_So pretty and different just like her._" April presented the case to Arizona silently wondering why an ankle would be of interest to Arizona.

"I got this Kepner," Arizona said never taking her eyes off Callie. Arizona smiled inwardly at the extreme look of discomfort splashed all over Callie's face making her fidget nervously on her bed.

"_This totally sucks_," Callie brooded in silence, "_Of all the days to hurt myself, of all the freaking doctors in the world."_

"But Dr. Robbins, it is just a..." April protested weakly before being cut off by Arizona.

"I said I got this Dr. Kepner," she replied punctuating each word in order to get rid of Kepner. April finally took her cue to leave, closing the curtain around the two woman.

"So," Arizona began speaking looking at the chart, "Calliope is this a work related injury?" She snickered at her inside joke.

"Callie," the brunette said correcting Arizona, "And no it is not a work related injuring," she told her holding up the broken shoe as evidence.

"How did your injury occur then Calliope?" Arizona asked snapping on a pair of latex gloves ignoring Callie's death glare at the continued usage of her full name.

"Callie," she said through gritted teeth, "My heel got caught in a sewer grate."

"Ohh pedestrian versus sewer grate," Arizona responded nodding her head in understanding, "Looks like the sewer won Calliope."

"Ya think?" Callie deadpanned, "Not that I am complaining or anything but aren't you a pediatric surgeon?"

"You already know the answer to that question," she replied beginning her physical exam, "But to answer your question yes, I work with children and on the rare occasion I get to work with people that act like children."

_"Wait, what dis she just accuse me of being childish?_" Callie fumed.

"Well maybe what I should've asked is shouldn't you page someone in orthopedics since it is my ankle that may be injured," she questioned in an overly saccharine laced voice.

"Sprains and broken bones are med school 101," she retorted.

"Is that supposed to instill confidence regarding your abilities?" Callie said attempting to insult Arizona enough to get her off her case. Arizona ignored the statement gently probing Callie's ankle for any protrusions that would indicate a fracture.

"You need an x-ray to determine the extent of damage to your ankle," Arizona explained grabbing the wheel chair motioning for Callie to get into it. Once Callie was situated in her chair, Arizona stood behind her to push. Arizona remembered what Callie said to her the day she had her first appointment. Bending down to Callie's ear, she repeated the same words Callie spoke to her on that day.

"Lucky for you, I know what I'm doing and I am verrry good to my patients, Calliope," she whispered hotly against Callie's ear. Callie choked in response not quite believing the nerve Arizona had.

"Callie," she stressed in defiance as Arizona wheeled her down the halls to radiology. Once the films of Callie's ankle were complete, Arizona reviewed them noticing a hairline fracture to the outside bone of Callie's ankle. Wanting to be professional as well as thorough, Arizona did page Ortho for a consult. The doctor from Ortho confirmed her diagnosis offering to take the case of her hands since it involved broken bones but Arizona politely declined unwilling to give up her chance to make Callie squirm. She went back to Callie to deliver the news.

"The bad news is that your ankle is broke," she explained, "The good news is we can cast your ankle in black if you want." The last comment made Callie's nostrils flare out in frustration at being mocked.

"What?" Arizona feigned innocence, "I happen to think you look awesome in black." Arizona tossed in a wink for good measure.

"Oh, I know I look good in black, and in red, and in white, and in any color or anything I chose to put on," she responded hotly.

"Come on Callie," Arizona said wheeling her off again, "Let's get you to the casting room so we can get you out of here."

"Best idea I've heard all day," Callie grumbled under her breath. The rest of the time, Arizona refrained from making any innuendos regarding the nature of Callie's profession. She'd applied too many casts on squealing, squirming children when she first got into pediatrics that she learned to be good under any circumstances. She took her time with Callie happy to have a patient that could sit still. Callie watched Arizona as she worked. Arizona was very good at her job. She was attentive, patient, gentle, and kind. Callie actually did feel like she was in good hands. Arizona finished the cast. It just needed to completely set. She glanced up and caught Callie looking at her with an unusual expression on her face.

"What, do I have plaster or something on my face?" she asked uncertainly.

"No, it's not that," she answered, "When you aren't frustrating the hell out of your patients, you are a very good doctor."

"Hmm, I've heard better compliments before but been going through kind of a dry spell, so you know what I will take it, and thank you," Arizona replied graciously.

"You're welcome," Callie said smiling.

"You know that with a cast comes crutches," Arizona informed being the bearer of bad news.

"Yeah, I figured," Callie answered.

"You will also need to stay off of it as much as possible for at least two weeks," she instructed her as she checked to see how the cast was drying.

"Raise, ice, compression, and elevation," Callie said reciting protocol for treating a broken bone.

"That's right," Arizona complimented, "Someone knows her first aid basics."

"_Something like that_," the voice inside Callie's head muttered.

"Is that going to be a problem you know with your uh, uh," Arizona floundered looking for the right words to describe Callie's job.

"No," Callie answered so sternly that Arizona knew better than to ask anymore questions.

"I'll just get your discharge orders, prescriptions, and follow up recommendations then," Arizona replied looking for a quick exit, "How are you getting home?"

"My friend Cristina is waiting for me," Callie responded.

"Well this will only take a minute so you might want to call her."

"Okay I will," Callie said shooing Arizona away, "I'd like to leave sometime soon Dr. Robbins."

"Oh yeah right," Arizona stammered awkwardly turning on her heels exiting the room. She wondered how Callie was able to turn the tide in her favor with just the tone of her voice, and a flick of her wrist. Arizona thought she had gotten ahead in the little game of verbal jousting her and Callie engaged in. Somehow, she'd have to turn the tables on Callie taking control back over the situation. She purposefully made Callie wait an extra 15 minutes or so in order to piss her off.

"Finally," Callie commented annoyed with Arizona for taking so long. In addition to the paperwork, Arizona brought the set of crutches for Callie to use.

"Can I go now?" Callie queried irritably.

"Yes, you can," Arizona responded watching in amusement as Callie struggled with the crutches, with the paperwork, with her hand bag, and when her constricting knee length pencil skirt. Everything ended up in a pile on the floor.

"Ugh," she groaned in frustration hopping up and down on her good foot. Arizona got the wheel chair again for Callie sitting her in it.

"Hospital policy," she told Callie, and it was. She just wanted to see if the stubborn woman would ask for assistance. She picked up Callie's possessions placing them gingerly in her lap. Then she balanced the crutches on the arms of the chair.

"Thank you," Callie replied gruffly.

"You're welcome," Arizona responded kindly. She wheeled Callie out to where Cristina was waiting for her in a black Mercedes C class sedan. Cristina got out of the car to assist Callie but was stopped with a wave of her hand. Callie put everything she could in her handbag. She pushed herself out of the chair with her arms, hopping on her good foot to the car.

"Thanks again, Dr. Robbins."

"Just doing my job ma'am," Arizona grinned, "Oh I forgot to ask, are you going to need a doctor's note for your boss?" Callie chuckled sarcastically motioning Arizona with her head to come closer. Arizona craned her neck towards Callie. Callie moved so that her mouth was a breath away from Arizona's ear.

"I think you know that _I_ am the boss," she said smoothly sending chills down Arizona's spine, "And the next time _I_ see _you_, that ass is mine." Arizona groaned inwardly, not expecting to feel the attraction to Callie growing exponentially. Callie flung her possessions through the car door plopping down without any grace whatsoever. Arizona moved to the car door holding it open while Callie got herself situated.

"Take care of that ankle Calliope," Arizona said smartly shutting the door before Callie had a chance to get the last word in. Cristina watched the entire exchange baffled.

"Was that?" Cristina began hesitantly.

"Yes," Callie quickly answered hoping her brusqueness would arrest this very topic of conversation.

"Did she just call you..." Cristina still could not quite believe her eyes and ears.

"Yes," Callie snapped impatiently, "Could you just take me home please?" Cristina drove off without another word.

Fate knows all, and it sees everything. It sees an unseen life or what could be and it dreams for us. Lemony Snicket said this of fate, "Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like." But sometimes, trying new things, or giving second chances yields the greatest rewards ever. Fate took a shining to Callie and Arizona becoming more determined than ever to have its way. People usually learn the hard way not to mess with fate. That's okay. As long as they learn.

**Alright my friends, three chapters in a day! Can I get some love? Hit that review button and send me your thoughts!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Stranded At A Dive Bar**

It had been sometime since the last encounter between Arizona and Callie at the hospital. Arizona was perplexed by the of the spark she felt from her brief interaction with Callie. It had never happened to her before. Callie remembered how riled up she let Arizona get her and continually puzzled over how she was able to do that. Callie was torn between wanting to see her but not wanting to see her because she was in pain. Arizona thought of all the places she could accidentally bump into Callie. Arizona never would've guessed her wish to see Callie would come true on the night she was having drinks with friends at their local watering hole. If she had any inkling, she might have taken more care with her appearance. She was sitting in a booth that and it just so happened that she was facing the door allowing her to see who came in as well as who went out. She was taking a sip of her wine when she spotted Callie walking in on the arm of a very attractive man. Arizona choked on her beverage raising concern among her friends.

"I just swallowed wrong," she explained meekly. She followed Callie with her eyes unable to look away. Callie was wearing a form fitting black dress with black heels that looked vaguely familiar to Arizona. The pair sat in a booth across the bar. She maintained the facade of conversation with her friends but she really had no clue what they were talking about. She didn't like seeing Callie with that man and was picturing 101 ways

for him to die a slow, agonizing death.

"Did you even hear a word I've said, Arizona?" her friend Teddy asked blocking her line of sight in order to get her attention.

"Huh, what?" she responded guiltily.

"Dude, she said she'd like to dip your sweet ass in caramel and use her tongue to lick you clean," her co-worker Alex supplied.

"What Alex, she did not!" Arizona protested.

"How would you know?" Teddy asked, "You've been staring at that hot woman across the room all night!"

"I can't help it," she shrugged sheepishly, "She's really hot."

"I'll drink to that," Alex agreed tossing back a shot.

"Why don't you go talk to her?" Teddy suggested.

"What Teddy, I can't do that. She is on a date." Arizona answered.

"I bet twenty bucks that Arizona could pull a robbery on that chump," Alex wagered.

"I'll take that bet," a usually conservative but slightly tipsy Miranda Bailey said answering the bet.

"You're going to bet against me Miranda?" Arizona feigned hurt, "She is on a date people, sheesh."

"Whatever you're just scared," Miranda slurred.

"I'm not a child, calling me a chicken won't work!" Arizona laughed at her friend's antics. The group then began occupying themselves by watching the interaction between Arizona's object of affection and her date. They interpreted how well the date was going by a flip of hair, an overly loud laugh, or a touch of a forearm. According to her friends, Mr. Studly Pants was getting laid tonight. The thought made Arizona sick to her stomach. Eventually, the group lost interest in the couple until Miranda spotted Mr. Studly Pants getting up from the table.

"Uh oh," she said pointing, "Something is going on, he looks wigged out." The group non-discreetly watched the man's unpleasant looking interaction with Callie. They looked on as Callie attempted to quell his displeasure with a desperate explanation. In the end, he threw money down on the table stomping off towards the door. Callie put her head into her hands, then ran her fingers through her raven locks before getting up from the table. Arizona expected Callie to get up and leave but she didn't. Instead, Arizona watched as Callie went in the direction of the restroom. Thankfully, her friends attention was directed elsewhere so no one was suspicious when she excused herself to go to the bathroom. Callie was splashing cold water onto her face when Arizona walked in. She looked into the mirror above the sink to see Arizona watching her inquisitively.

"Damn it!" she exclaimed gripping the sides of the sink, "Could this night get any worse?" She spun around to face Arizona.

"Hello Calliope," Arizona said a little too cheerfully, "Come here often?"

"Come here often, really," she mimicked cynically, "What's next, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"

"For someone who just got dumped, you are awfully full of yourself," Arizona fired back.

"You saw that?" Callie's embarrassment written all over her face.

"It is kinda hard not to notice you,"she began rambling, "You look really good in clothes. I mean normal clothes no I you always look good. Oh my god I can't stop. What's going to come out of my mouth next, 'I carried a watermelon?" Arizona rattled off the awkward line from Dirty Dancing where Baby first meets sexy dance instructor Johnny. Callie burst into a fit of giggles at Arizona's nervous tangent. She laughed so hard it brought tears to her eyes.

"Smooth, real smooth," she chuckled wiping at her eyes with a paper towel, "I think you're trying to compliment me in a round about way, so I'll take it and thank you."

"I was trying to compliment you," Arizona clarified, "And you are welcome." Her eyes roamed over Callie's figure appreciatively noticing that she no longer had a cast on her ankle.

"My friends and I are here having a night out and we all saw what happened," Arizona explained, "Let me buy you a drink to make up for your lousy date."

"I don't think that is a good idea," Callie replied cautiously.

"Come on Callie, it is not as if I am asking you out on a date," Arizona said trying to goad her into accepting. Callie thought of too many reasons why she should say no but in the end all it took for her was just one reason to say yes and she found herself agreeing.

"One drink," she clarified.

"Just one," Arizona said starting to get happy because she was so close to spending time with the person that constantly invaded her thoughts.

"Okay," Callie accepted. Arizona opened the door to the restroom holding her hand out to let Callie go before her. Callie found another empty booth and sat down. Arizona shot a glance in her friends direction and saw them looking at her with gaping expressions. Arizona quickly looked away because she didn't want any of her friends to take it as a sign to interrupt them.

"Your friends are all watching, aren't they?" Callie asked about to turn her head and look.

"No!" Arizona screamed grabbing Callie's arm across the table to stop her, "Wild kingdom rule number one, never look the wild beasts in the eyes!"

"Oh god no," Callie played along, "Wouldn't want to breach the etiquette of the wild kingdom!"

"Whew," Arizona said wiping the imaginary sweat of her brow, "Good to know I'm safe in your hands," she added flirtatiously. Callie arched an eyebrow questioningly in response to Arizona's banter. About that time, a server came to take their drink orders. While they were waiting, Arizona asked about Callie's date.

"Set up by mutual friends," she told Arizona.

"Did you like him?" Arizona wondered.

"Oh my god, did you see him. Yes I liked him," Callie told her.

"What happened then?" she asked Callie.

"He couldn't handle it," she replied.

"Couldn't handle what?" Arizona inquired thanking their server for their drinks. Callie took a sip of her wine, "My job," she replied bitterly, "He got freaked out about my job."

"He is an idiot then," Arizona sympathized.

"It happens all the time which is why I don't bother dating. Either the person I am dating is repulsed or even worse turn on by it and want to incorporate that into our sex life. That's just not what I am into, ya know?" she said all of this very quickly in one breath. Arizona took note of the pronoun usage in Callie's sentence. She said person. Arizona held out hope that Callie might be into women.

"So butch in the streets, femme in the sheets," Arizona stated boldly.

"Watch it pet," Callie growled. Arizona leaned forward motioning with her hand for Callie to lean in as well.

"Here's a newsflash for you," Arizona replied cockily, "In case you didn't know, we're in the real world, not in your dungeon." Arizona's challenging tone and unwillingness to back down aroused Callie immensely. No one usually had the courage to stand up to her. That is what made her a good dominatrix, but Arizona was her submissive and Callie couldn't let her get the upper hand dungeon or not.

"Just because we're in the real world as you say and not in my dungeon doesn't mean I can't put you in your place," she punctuated her response by clinking her glass loudly on the table as she set it down. Arizona nodded her head taking in the last comment.

"In the real world," she began not backing down, "I'd really like to see you try." Callie pursed her lips glaring at Arizona openly. Arizona openly refused to back down meeting her glare. Not a word was spoken between them. Callie knew Arizona was searching for equal footing outside of the dungeon but Callie knew if she gave in, the dynamic in the dungeon could crumble. The look on Callie's face didn't escape Arizona's notice. But, she thought she saw something deeper in Callie's eyes too. Callie's eyes seemed darker, her pupils were dilated, her skin was flushed, and Arizona could see the pulse quickening beneath the skin at her neck. If she didn't know any better, Arizona would think that Callie was aroused by their verbal sparring matches. Arizona kept looking and was almost certain she was right. Callie's stare made her feel like a piece of raw meat ready to be devoured. She shivered inwardly secretly delighted to know that Callie found her attractive. Unfortunately, the situation wouldn't play out because they were interrupted by Teddy informing Arizona that she was leaving. Arizona rode with Teddy so she had to go as well. She paid for the two drinks offering to walk Callie out which is accepted. Arizona waited on Teddy to pull up at the curb. She was attempting an awkward good-bye when Teddy not so subtly mimed some instructions to Arizona.

"Oh," Arizona responded loudly hoping Callie would catch on, "Could I get your number and call you sometime."

"Sure," Callie played along digging in her purse for something to write on. Finding an old business card, she motioned for Arizona to turn around so she could use her back to write against. When she was done, Arizona turned around accepting the card from her.

"Well good night then," she said holding out her hand.

"Good night," Callie took Arizona's hand in her, "It was so nice to meet you."

"Uh, take care now?" Arizona replied dumbly.

"I will," Callie said, "Don't you worry." Callie turned around walking in the direction of her car. Teddy pulled away from the curb. Arizona suddenly remembered the card in her hand. Written neatly on the back, it said "Don't think I've forgotten. The next time I see you, not in 'the real world,' that ass is mine." Arizona laughed out loud but thought to herself, _"Damn, she doesn't play fair at all."_ Callie drove home singing at the top of her lungs feelings energized from her victory in the latest volley between herself and Arizona. She had a feeling that Arizona would pop up soon. Honestly, it wouldn't be completely unwanted. No matter what, Callie would take care of business, she always did.

Callie was absolutely correct. Within a week of seeing Callie at the bar, Arizona called to set up an appointment at Velvet. Callie's heart jumped a little in her chest when staffing their appointments for the week She had something special in store for Arizona. She contacted a man she new in the business that hand crafted equipment and she placed a rush order. Her package arrived two days before Arizona's appointment. Callie was really pleased with the craftsmanship anticipating using it on Arizona's smooth, creamy ass.

The day of Arizona's appointment arrived. Callie took extra care with her wardrobe making certain all of her assets were accentuated in the naughty school girl attire she chose especially for today. Even though Arizona wasn't supposed to look at her, Callie knew she did and would continue to do so. Arizona knew Callie would let her look too. This had also become part of their game. Arizona fidgeted in anticipation. Her heart pounded erratically in her chest at the tell tale rasp of Callie dead bolting the door. Callie's gut told her that Arizona was here to see her but a good domme always checked in with her submissive. Arizona's posture was good. She was erect and solid not like the usual. The other times, Arizona sagged almost as if she didn't have any bones in her body to support her skin. She always seemed heavily weighed down. Callie snapped the collar on Arizona's neck.

"Look at me," she ordered. Arizona's eyes snapped open to look at Callie. Callie searched her eyes for signs of life. Arizona's eyes were usually hollow but today they were a vibrant blue and full of something that if Callie had to guess, she would say it was mirth. She was satisfied that she had a good grip on Arizona's motivation for being at Velvet today. The session went as usual. Callie worked her front first before having Arizona turn over. When the last 15 minutes of the session started, Callie brought out her new toy. She paddled Arizona's behind soundly again and again until she was completely satisfied she made a lasting impression. She took the restraints off ending the session no differently. Arizona was a puddle on the floor. Before she opened the door to leave, she stopped. Without turning around she said, "I told you your ass would be mine." She wanted to make certain Arizona remembered. Arizona shrugged it off picking herself up from the floor. She went into the bathroom to collect herself. She stood naked in the bathroom waiting for the shower to heat up when she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She turned her back towards the vanity craning her neck to see what it was. Stamped across her ass in bright red welts was the word, "MINE." Arizona found herself cracking up by herself in the bathroom. She got showered, and changed into scrubs because she had to work later. She left in an almost euphoric state because she got to see Callie.

Meanwhile, after Arizona's session, Cristina eventually made her way back to Callie's office where Callie had already changed and was reviewing paper work.

"How's Arizona," she asked casually.

"Man, she's weird Callie," Cristina responded, "Before I left the observation room, I could hear her laughing like really hard."

"Hmm, that is weird," Callie agreed with her friend so her friend wouldn't get suspicious but inside she was smirking because Arizona successfully connected the dots, "I'll have to remember that for next time." Cristina shrugged indifferently not caring as long as they got paid.

Arizona went to work without incident. She was having a great day. She did her rounds, did routine surgeries, and was going to have a late lunch with Teddy. They carried their trays over to a table setting them down. Arizona grimaced audibly as she sat down. She shifted uncomfortably from cheek to cheek until she grew accustomed to the aching throb.

"What the hell is the matter with you Arizona?" Teddy asked noticing her odd behavior.

"Nothing," she replied with another grimace then breaking out into a big smile.

"Whatever, I don't want to hear about your kinky love life anyway," Teddy replied.

"Teddy," Arizona protested half-heartedly, "I'm not having kinky sex. I'm not having any sex at all in fact. I'd tell you if I was having kinky sex or vanilla sex or whatever. You're my best friend," she rambled aimlessly.

"Uh huh," Teddy said skeptically between a bite of her salad, "I bet it was that hottie from the bar. What was her name again, Callie?" Arizona choked on a piece of her food coughing and sputtering until her eyes watered. Thankfully Teddy became concerned about Arizona choking and shifted her attention to that. Arizona was extremely grateful because that was not a conversation she was ready to have with her friend. She wasn't sure if there would ever be a time she would be able to tell anyone anything about the true nature of her relationship with Callie. It wasn't right, nor was it wrong. It is what it is. And that is how it went for awhile. Arizona would schedule an appointment. Callie would beat her ass, and both got their fill. Deep down, both women knew there would come a day when the pretty pink bubble they were co-existing in would burst leaving them to confront whatever devastation was left behind.

AN: Alright, four chapters in three days. Can I get some more love? Thank you to those of you out there that have taken the time to review. I truly appreciate them.

Sherri


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: I Need A Hero**

Callie and Cristina were returning back to Velvet after spending some time taking care of themselves. In their line of work, downtime was necessary and never taken for granted. Both women enjoyed being pampered with full body massages, facials, pedicures, and manicures at Whispers, their favorite spa. They were going to change clothes before heading out for a fine dining experience to complete their day of luxury. Pulling up to their block, Callie noticed another black Mercedes parked along the curb. She looked carefully at it. It seemed vaguely familiar to her.

"That's Kellie Heroux's car, I think," Callie said uncertainly.

"She called desperate for an appointment and Candy got her in for first thing in the morning," Cristina told Callie, "Wonder what's she doing here?" Callie and Kellie had a long personal history predating to a time way before Velvet was even conceptualized. To say that Callie cared about Kellie would be an understatement.

"I don't know," Callie said parking her car behind the other one. Callie approached the car warily. She couldn't see very well into the care because it was dark and the windows were tinted.

"Kellie," Callie called out knocking against the window. She got no response so she tapped louder.

"Kellie," she shouted trying the handle. Cristina and Callie heard a moan come from inside the car.

"Kellie, unlock the door this instant," Callie said urgently, "Come on baby, please unlock the door."

"I'm going to bust in the window," Cristina said looking around for a brick or something that would work.

"Wait, wait," Callie said as she watched movement from inside the car. There was the tell tale click indicating the door had been unlocked. Callie swung the door open, and the person in the car slumped out. Cristina managed to catch her before she toppled onto the pavement. Cristina pulled her out of the car and into a sitting position on the side walk.

"Callie," she said alarmed, "She's bleeding." Callie looked up and down the streets afraid of someone walking by and seeing Kellie in such a compromising position.

"We have to get her inside Cristina," she said taking charge. The two women managed to get the woman upright. All Kellie could do was moan in pain. They got her inside the house laying her in one of the rooms upstairs. Callie stripped the woman of all her clothes to assess what the problem was. Callie gasped in horror as she bared Kellie's skin. There were several long strips criss crossing the expanse of her back down to her knees.

"Holy shit!" Cristina cried out, "It looks like someone tried to strip the skin right off of her." Callie nodded grimly.

"She needs to go to a hospital Callie," Cristina said in a panic.

"She can't just go to a hospital. She's a US senator for heaven's sake," Callie stressed her point, "Whatever would she tell them?"

"I don't know Callie," Cristina said worried, "They look bad and she's lost a lot of blood."

"She needs stitches, IV fluids, and antibiotics," Callie told her scared friend.

"You can do that right?" Cristina asked hopefully.

"I don't have any medical equipment here," Callie replied trying to think of a solution

"Stay with her while I make a quick phone call." Callie sprinted down the stairs to where all the client files were kept. She found the one she was looking for and dialed the number without a second thought.

"Come on, come on," she said out loud, "Pick up, pick up, pick up."

"Hello," a tentative voice answered not recognizing the number she was being called from.

"Dr. Robbins," Callie said, "This is Callie, Callie Torres."

"Can you hold on please?" Arizona asked, "I'm going to go somewhere more private." Arizona excused herself from that table she was sitting at with her friends.

"Callie, I'm assuming this isn't a social call so what can I do for you?" she asked directly.

"I need your help," Callie admitted desperately.

"Are you okay?" Arizona asked immediately concerned.

"Yes, no," Callie rambled, "I am fine but a friend of mine isn't."

"What do you need Callie?"

"A suture kit, antibiotics, IV fluids, and pain medications," Callie listed off what she thought Kellie needed.

"Okay give me 30 minutes," Arizona replied, "Where are you?"

"Velvet," Callie told her.

"I'll be there as soon as I can Callie," Arizona said trying to reassure the upset woman on the other end of the phone. Callie went back upstairs to tend to Kellie.

"I called Dr. Robbins," Callie explained to Cristina, "She's on her way."

"You called a client for help?" Cristina asked incredulously.

"What else could I do?" Callie lamented. Right at the time, Kellie groaned opening her eyes.

"Callie," she rasped.

"Kellie what happened to you?" she asked.

"I couldn't wait," she whispered grimacing in pain.

"Who did this to you Kellie," Callie asked interrogating her.

"Don't," Kellie whispered hoarsely shaking her head letting Callie know she would never divulge that information.

"Please baby," Callie switched tactics to begging taking Kellie's hand in her own placing light kisses on her palm, "Please tell me." Kellie reached out to brush an errant lock of hair from Callie's face.

"I won't have you getting into trouble because of me," Kellie stated simply.

"You are no trouble to me," Callie replied earnestly as tears clouded her vision. Cristina watched the tender exchange between the two women feeling like a voyeur watching the intimate exchange.

"Can you at least tell me what happened?" Callie said trying to compromise. Kellie took a deep breath before answering Callie.

"I"ve been under an insane amount of stress lately with everything going on in Washington," Kellie began rolling her eyes, "I just needed to not be in control you know?" Callie nodded her head in understanding

"You do know," Kellie said with a shrug, "I called earlier today to book an appointment with Cristina but she was not available until tomorrow." Cristina shuffled her feet feeling guilty.

"It's not your fault," Kellie said to Cristina, "I thought I could wait but then all hell broke loose at my office that I got so overwhelmed that I called a place a friend of mine told me about."

"What place?" Cristina asked.

"Nice try," Kellie said, "Anyway they had an opening so I took it." Callie listened seething internally going over all the ways she'd make the person who hurt Kellie pay for what they'd done.

"Everything seemed on the up and up," she recounted her experience.

"Why didn't you use your safe word?" Callie asked in a gentle tone of voice so she didn't seem to be blaming Kellie.

"I was gagged," she said so softly she could barely be heard. Callie and Cristina's jaw both went slack in horror. There was no way she could use her safe word with a gag in her mouth. That is BDSM common sense 101. Callie hit the roof.

"What the fuck," Callie shouted jumping off the side of the bed, "Kellie you have to tell me who did this to you."

"I won't Callie," she replied stubbornly.

"Why not?" she shouted, "This person could've killed you and the next person might not be as lucky as you."

"Callie," Cristina said calmly, "Can you give me a minute with Kellie?" Cristina silently entreated Callie with a look letting Callie know that she would talk to Kellie. Cristina knew Kellie would never tell Callie in order to protect Callie. Cristina knew Kellie wouldn't want anyone else to be hurt the way she was. Cristina just had a feeling Kellie would talk to her. Kellie was her submissive after all.

"I'll go get you some shorts and a shirt to put on for when the doctor gets here," Callie said angrily.

"You called a doctor?" Kellie asked in terror.

"Yes Mrs I won't tell you who did this to me because I am a stubborn pig head," Callie ranted angrily, "You need stitches, you need an IV, you need antibiotics.

"You can't do it?" she asked.

"No I can't do it," she answered stubbornly, "Does it look like a doctor's office in here?" Callie's harsh tone of voice sparked a wave of overwhelming pain in Kellie's heart. Seeing the tears boiling out of Kellie's honest green eyes, Callie felt immediate regret.

"Don't worry sweetie," she said sitting on the edge of the bed, "She won't tell anyone."

"You trust her?" she asked timidly.

"I do," she said with confidence, "Now just try to relax until I get back," Callie kissed Kellie gently on the lips.

"Thank you," Kellie whispered against her lips.

"Of course," Callie whispered back just as softly. Callie got up giving Cristina a look that said you better find out what I need to know. Cristina acknowledged her friend with a subtle nod of her head. Callie went into her office to get Kellie something comfortable to wear. She also grabbed some supplies from downstairs. She returned to the bedroom with her cache. Cristina gave her a discreet thumbs up to let Callie know she could relax a bit because Kellie told her what she needed to know.

"Kellie, we're going to need to clean your wounds," she said, "Do you think you can make it to the bathroom?"

"Help me?" she asked both women. Callie and Cristina supported Kellie as best they could. Kellie's knees buckled in pain but they held her steady. After a moment, Kellie adjusted to the pain. Once in the bathroom, Callie gingerly removed Kellie's bra and panties throwing away the ruined under garments.

"It will be better if you laid in the tub while I did this." Callie suggested

"Whatever you think is best," Kellie said through gritted teeth. Callie placed a plush towel down on the bottom of the tub to absorb the shock from the cold porcelain. Callie waited until the injured woman settled in.

"I need to clean your wounds," Callie said slipping into care mode, "I'm going to use distilled water and a mild antiseptic soap on them, okay?"

"Okay," Kellie answered.

"It is going to hurt like hell," Callie warned looking at some of the angry red strips carved out of Kellie's flesh.

"Just do it Callie," Kellie replied giving Callie the permission she was seeking to cause her pain.

"Here we go," Callie said uncertainly. First Callie cleaned the wounds using the distilled water. Then using a soft cotton cloth, she gently scrubbed the wounds with the antiseptic soap. Callie then rinsed off all the soap. Throughout the entire ordeal, Kellie never moved nor did she make a sound.

"You're done," Callie told the dazed woman before her. Kellie rose to her knees, her body trembling from exhaustion. Callie helped her out of the tub patting her dry with a soft towel. She tended to any of the cuts that were bleeding again before helping Kellie get dressed in her clothes. Cristina had thoughtfully stripped the bloody bed clothing replacing them with soft sheets

made out of satin. Callie was walking Kellie to the bed when the buzzer sounded indicating Arizona's arrival.

"I'll get it," Cristina volunteered running out of the room to get the door. Cristina led a confused Arizona up the stairs to where her patient was waiting. She walked into the room immediately noticing Callie sitting in a chair next to the woman's bed holding her hand. Arizona's eyes widened noticeably when she recognized who that woman was. Callie caught the stare.

"Dr. Robbins," she said formally, "This is Senator Kellie Heroux."

"Hello," Kellie said in greeting.

"Hello," Arizona returned in kind offering a dimpled smile meant to be reassuring.

"I'm sure I don't need to tell you this is a matter of utmost confidentiality."

"Yeah, Calliope," Arizona responded dryly, "I kinda figured that out already cause when I'm not picking straw out of my teeth, I'm a very smart woman." Kellie noticed the terse interaction between the two women. At first she thought it was Callie being slightly over protective of her, but the more she observed, the more it was apparent something else was going on.

"Did she just call you Calliope?" Kellie whispered to Callie. Callie ignored the question completely.

"You're certainly feisty Dr. Robbins," Kellie laughed at Arizona's ability to put Callie so soundly in her place, "Thank you Dr. Robbins I truly appreciate your willingness to be discreet."

"I'm just glad that I can help," she said sliding latex gloves onto her hands, "May I?" she asked Kellie's permission to assess her wounds. Kellie shifted on the bed so that her back was exposed to Arizona, and then she slowly removed her shirt. Arizona was appalled and disgusted by what she saw. She was downright angry but she had a job to do, and that job required aloofness and objectivity. She gently probed the skin of Kellie's back telling her what she was doing and why. She also examined Kellie's rear end and legs for damage. She did a thorough exam of Kellie's entire body looking for any sort of internal injuries or broken bones.

"Callie was right," Arizona confirmed, "You do need stitches."

"Great," Kellie muttered cynically, "Scars are just so attractive."

"Hey," Arizona said soothingly, "I'm going to do such a good job on you that there will be minimal scarring and I'll have you know that this girl happens to think scars are bad ass but if scars bother you, I know an excellent and discreet plastic surgeon. Okay?"

"Okay," Kellie agreed gratefully. Arizona turned her attention to Callie.

"I'm going to need a sterile work space, something where she can lay flat," Arizona told Callie while searching around the room for something suitable.

"Like that," Arizona pointed to the wooden dresser, "And lots and lots of light."

"Cristina," Callie shouted for the other woman, "Help me move the dresser." Cristina returned into the room helping Callie move the dress out from the wall. Callie got a clean sheet draping it over the entire dresser. While they took care of that, Arizona tended to Kellie.

"I'm going to put an IV in your arm so I can put you on IV fluids," Arizona explained, "I'm also going to give you antibiotics and pain medications through your IV as well." Arizona established the IV line in no time at all, and before long Kellie was feeling no pain. Callie had collected all the floor lamps she could, and found an adjustable stool for Arizona to sit on while she sutured Kellie's back. Arizona grabbed a pillow for Kellie's head putting it on her make shift gurney. She helped Kellie over holding her IV fluids.

"I need something to hang this on," she said searching the room again for something sufficient.

"Oh I know," Callie said, "Be right back" She returned with a standing coat rack.

"That's perfect," Arizona replied hanging the bag. Arizona instructed Kellie to lay down on her stomach. Once Kellie was settled, Arizona adjusted all the lamps accordingly. When she was satisfied with her work space, she began. First she began with a local anesthetic.

"This may be cold," she said apologetically watching goosebumps erupt all over Kellie's skin. Kellie laughed it of feeling giddy from the pain medications. Cristina came into the room to let Callie know that she reached Kellie's husband, Max, and he was on his way to get her. Cristina also had something very personal to take care of as well.

"Callie," she said quietly not wanting to disturb Arizona, "I'm going to take Kellie's car back to her house. Mark's going to meet me there. We're going to take care of the problem." Callie's eyes darkened angrily.

"I want to come with you," she started.

"No," Cristina said firmly.

"No?" Callie asked incredulously at the nerve of her friend telling her no.

"No," Cristina held fast, "Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do," Callie said indignantly.

"Then let me get this," Cristina responded back. Callie sighed deeply in resignation.

"I got this," Cristina assured Callie backing out of the room.

"Be careful," Callie warned.

"Do I even want to know what that was all about?" Arizona inquired.

"Cristina is taking care of a work related issue," Callie replied evasively.

"Uh huh," Arizona responded playing along.

"You two like each other," Kellie commented in a sing song voice.

"What are you talking about?" Callie gently chastised, "That's the good medicine talking!"

"I've seen the way you look at her when she's not looking and how she looks at you when you are not looking," Kellie said smugly.

"What," Callie said dismissively.

"Yeah," Arizona jumped in, "There is no looking here, believe me, no looking."

"Ha, Dr. Robbins me thinks you doth protest too much, "And you Callie can deny it all you want but I'm not blind. I've seen the way you look at her. I know that look well. You used to looked at me that way once upon a time," Kellie said wistfully. Arizona raised her eyebrows curious about the history between Callie and Kellie but technically it was none of her business.

"_Kellie and Callie, it is so cute it makes me want to throw up_," Arizona thought childishly. The buzzer sounded indicating the arrival of Kellie's husband.

"Oh thank god," Callie said relieved to have an escape out of the conversation, "I'll just go and um get that."

"That'd be good," Arizona replied, "My hands are all tied up at the moment."

"Ha, ha, ha," Kellie laughed breaking the tension in the room, "You don't seem like the type Dr. Robbins."

"Bad choice of words considering where I'm at huh?" Arizona smiled.

"Must've been a Freudian slip," Kellie commented.

"Must have," Arizona mumbled under her breath. Callie went downstairs to greet Max. He was worried sick about his wife. He immediately pulled Callie into a tight embrace.

"She's going to be fine Max," Callie told him hugging him back just as fiercely.

"Thank God you got here when you did," he told her thankfully.

"Mark and Cristina are on their way right now to take care of the problem," Callie told him confidently.

"That's good," he sighed relieved, "What the hell happened, Callie?"

"You know how submissive she can get," Callie began, "She'll do anything she's told but it is up to the top to take good care of their bottoms."

"I know how she gets," he nodded his head in comprehension.

"Her top," she spat the word out with extreme disdain, "Put a gag in her mouth and never even bothered to check in with her."

"Who the hell did this to her Callie," he said pacing the floor.

"I don't know," she admitted honestly, "But what I do know is that Mark and Cristina will handle it so that no one gets hurt ever again."

"I'm so mad, Callie," he said running his hand through his thick hair.

"I know," Callie said wrapping her arms around his waist from behind resting her head against his shoulder. They stayed like that for awhile taking comfort from each other. Arizona came down the steps stopping in her tracks at the sight before her. She felt guilty for intruding. Clearing her throat to announce her presence startled the couple into turning around.

"Max," Callie said, "This is Dr. Robbins." Max walked over to Arizona giving her a big hug out of gratitude.

"Thank you for helping my wife," he said sincerely.

"You're welcome?" Arizona replied patting his back awkwardly, "Why don't we all sit down?" she suggested. Callie and Max sat on the couch while Arizona sat perched on the love seat.

"She did really great," Arizona informed Max, "She did need a total of 63 stitches."

"Oh fuck!" Max exclaimed loudly jumping out of his seat on the sofa looking wildly around the room.

"Some of the cuts were pretty deep," she explained sympathetically, "But I did a very, very good job and she's going to be okay." Hearing that his wife would be okay released the torrent of emotions Max had been straining to keep at bay since he first learned of the ordeal. Arizona left Callie alone to tend to her friend's sorrow while she went back to tend to his wife's needs. Arizona managed to help Kellie get dressed and provided her with a steady source of support guiding her down the steps. Max and Callie heard them coming down the steps so he got up to greet her at the bottom of the steps. Kellie was tough. You had to be tough to be a woman operating within the good old boy system of the American government, but her stoicism crumbled when she saw the concern etched on her husband's handsome face. Seeing his wife about to cry, Max walked over to her allowing her to rest her head against his shoulder. He refrained from holding her because he knew she was hurt.

"I'm sorry Max," Kellie cried guiltily against his chest.

"What for honey," he asked raising her chin with his fingers, "This is not your fault."

"But..." she protested weakly.

"No buts," he said kissing her forehead tenderly.

"Mr. Heroux," Arizona started.

"Call me Max, please," he entreated.

"Max, the stitches can't get wet for 24 hours. After that, her wounds need to be washed twice a day with soap and water. I've written a prescription for pain killers, antibiotic ointment, and an oral antibiotic just in case."

"We can't thank you enough Dr. Robbins," Max said squeezing her hand in his.

"I'm just glad I could help," she answered kindly, "Here's my cell phone number. I want to see her in a week to check on her stitches. Call me, and we'll set something up, something private."

"Thank you," Kellie said looking directly into Arizona's eyes to emphasize her point. Arizona smiled in response. Kellie turned to Callie closing the distance between them. She cupped Callie's cheeks in her hands bringing her lips to Callie's. Callie clutched Kellie's forearms as they kissed. The kiss was deep, and it was intimate. It was obvious to anyone witnessing the scene that Kellie knew how to kiss Callie, and Callie knew the same about Kellie. It wasn't the awkward kiss of two people getting to know one another. Rather it was more like two old friends getting reacquainted with one another. Kellie ended the kiss still holding Callie's face in her hands.

"I love you," she said softly looking into Callie's eyes.

"I love you too," Callie replied her voice cracking. Max stepped up to Callie as well proceeding to kiss her lips tenderly as well. Arizona was so astounded that she nearly missed Max telling Callie he loved her, and Callie's similar response. Callie left Arizona bewildered while she walked them out. Arizona had successfully managed to keep her anger in check adopting her impartial doctor persona. But once alone, Arizona's anger bubbled like boiling oil, hot and deep. She couldn't get a grip on how Callie could let something like that happen to someone she obviously cared deeply for. Callie came back in to see Arizona standing in the waiting room with her arms crossed over her chest.

"How could you?" Arizona exploded angrily. Callie looked behind her to make sure Arizona was talking to her.

"Yeah, I'm talking to you," Arizona shouted.

"How could I what?" Callie responded confused.

"How could you let that happen Calliope?" she demanded Callie raised her eyebrows questioningly shaking her head still not comprehending what was going on.

"What happened to 'Don't worry, I'm very good at what I do?" Arizona said mimicking Callie's introductory speech from her first visit at Velvet.

"You think I did this," she asked pointing a finger to her chest. Arizona raised both hands in the air as if to say who else would I be talking about. Callie looked down to the floor taking a deep breath to restore her composure.

"You know what," she said placing one hand on her hip about to rip into Arizona about just how wrong she was, "Actually there is something you need to see." Callie walked away from Arizona up the stairs. Callie realized half way up the stairs that Arizona hadn't budged.

"I know you think I'm a monster," she called out, "But I thought you wanted some answers." She knew Arizona couldn't resist the insatiable urge for the truth. Arizona followed Callie up the stairs through her office to the door to her closet.

"Where are you taking me?" Arizona asked wondering if she needed to be concerned.

"You'll see," Callie answered cryptically. She led Arizona into her closet. There was a door opposite the one they just came through like adjoining rooms in a hotel. Callie unlocked the second door turning on the light as she went in.

"This is my house," Callie said filling in the missing pieces of the puzzle, "This is my home office." Arizona wandered around the room instantly curious about the personal life of the complex woman standing near by. Callie waited while Arizona took in the details of her home office. She knew Arizona discovered what she intended Arizona to by bringing her into the office because she heard Arizona's surprised intake of breath. Arizona went to the wall that held all of Callie's academic diplomas.

"You're a doctor?" she stuttered in disbelief.

"I am a doctor," Callie affirmed. Arizona turned to look at Callie with shock in her wide blue eyes.

"I told you I was good at what I do, and I am," she told Arizona, "I know the human body and its limitations just like _you _do."

"Callie," Arizona tried to apologize.

"No, let me finish," Callie said quickly, "I know the body and how hard to push. I'm very careful as _you_ should know. So frankly, it is a little insulting to me that you think I could do something that atrocious to another human being," Callie paused trying to decide how much she should share with someone that was technically still her client.

"And furthermore," she resumed her speech, "I could never do something like that to someone I care about the way I care about Kellie." Arizona walked over to where Callie was standing with her arms crossed protectively across her chest.

"I'm sorry," Arizona said placing a hand on one of Callie's forearms, "I was wrong, and I say when I was wrong. I am really sorry." Callie met Arizona's tentative gaze realizing Arizona was being honest with her apology.

"I take my job seriously," she insisted stubbornly not ready to let Arizona off the hook just yet. Arizona nodded her head in response lost in her head for a moment.

"Callie, can I ask you a question?" she posited hesitantly.

"Oh no," Callie said backing away from Arizona seeing the direction Arizona was going with her question.

"Why not," Arizona asked cocking her head to one side.

"Because this isn't the place to have that discussion," Callie replied quickly.

"Where then?" Arizona asked simply.

"Someplace with alcohol, lots and lots of alcohol," Callie said answering the question with the first thing that popped into her mind.

"Okay," Arizona conceded forming a plan in her mind, "Buy me dinner."

"What?" Callie barked, "No."

"Yes. I mean I did leave my dinner date to help you out," Arizona shrugged, "The very least you could do to make it up to me is buy me dinner, and you can have your liquid courage."

"A date?" Callie asked pretending to be indifferent.

"With a smoking hot red head that thought I was the bees knees," Arizona said honestly sensing she was closing in on her target.

"Shit," Callie swore, "I guess it is the least I can do since I ruined your evening."

"So are we going to dinner, Callie?" Arizona said solidifying their deal.

"Yes we are," Callie answered, "We are going to dinner."

"Yay," Arizona cheered clapping giddily, "Seriously though, I am starving."

"You and this girl," Callie asked as an after thought, "Is it serious?"

"Nope, there is no need to get all jealous Calliope," Arizona teased hoping that jealousy was the reason Callie was asking personal questions, " We were set up by friends that thought we might hit it off."

"And you didn't?" Callie asked relieved holding the door open for Arizona.

"Oh god no!" Arizona protested emphatically, "We had nothing in common. She's an accountant," Arizona whispered the last word as if it were a dirty word that would explain everything clearly.

"And?" Callie said settling into her side of the car.

"That's just so ho-hum," Arizona explained.

"I don't know," Callie quipped, "She might have a few surprises up her sleeves."

"Really, you think so," Arizona asked clearly seeking Callie's true opinion.

"You did," Callie said inferring to Arizona's secret life in her dungeons.

"Hmm," Arizona replied sinking back into her seat quietly contemplating Callie's statement.

The pieces were coming together slowly but surely. Even though the puzzle was coming together nicely, there would always be pieces missing. Unless, confronting and facing the truth about the true wants and desires, each woman would remain destined to be an incomplete puzzle. The thought of that alone is just so sad. Fate had to up the ante somehow.

Okay: My carpel tunnel is running a muck in my wrists and hands. So, this will be it until the weekend. I need to recuperate! I love all of ya'll for reading and reviewing! I listen to what you say and try to act accordingly. Keep the reviews coming.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: The Best Non Date Ever**

Callie cast furtive side ways glances at Arizona as she drove them to dinner. She felt pressure to fill the void with inane chatter. Plus, there seemed to be a herd of wild horses stampeding her way through her stomach trying to burst their way out. It struck Callie that what she was feeling was first date jitters. She shook that thought off as completely inappropriate because she would never, ever date one of her clients no matter how beautiful and intriguing that client might be. Arizona was battling an insane amount of curiosity regarding her dinner companion. Arizona found herself totally captivated by what made Callie into who she was. Ever since Arizona had that drink with Callie at the bar, she felt some sort of force drawing her into Callie. She'd been literally getting her ass beat just so she would have an excuse to see Callie.

Callie pulled up to Bones, a new restaurant specializing in haute Italian cuisine. It just received a four star rating making it damn near impossible to get into.

"It's eight o' clock on a Friday night Callie. We will never get in there," Arizona said skeptically when she saw where Callie was taking her.

"We'll get in," Callie answered confidently.

"How?" Arizona snorted, "Does one of your clients own it?" Arizona was the only one laughing at her joke.

"No," Callie responded plainly, "I do." Arizona stopped dead in her tracks with her mouth agape. Callie didn't have to be in a dungeon to put Arizona in her place. Arizona caught up with Callie inside where she was talking to the restaurant manager. In Italian. The manager led them to the owner's table that was specifically reserved for Callie or any of Callie's guests. The manager handed the women the menus before bidding them farewell. Arizona stared at Callie like she had seven heads or something. Callie tried not to laugh when she caught sight of Arizona's surprised expressions

"What?"

"You speak Italian?" Arizona asked in awe.

"I speak Italian,' Callie started.

"When did you," Arizona interrupted wanting to ask more questions.

"I'm not finished," Callie clarified, "I am fluent in Italian, French, and Spanish. I could get by in Japan but I didn't spend enough time there.

"Last name Torres," Arizona commented, "It makes a lot of sense that you speak Spanish but wow!" Their server brought over Callie's favorite champagne pouring them both a glass.

"Do you want to talk now and get it out of the way or would you like to spread it out over the course of the evening?" Callie said cutting to the heart of the matter.

"Having dinner might be a useful distraction if needed," Arizona answered truthfully.

"Will you let me order for you then so it will take less time, and we can talk more?" Callie posed in suggestion.

"Sure," Arizona answered enthusiastically, "I love surprises besides I trust you." Hearing Arizona admit to having faith in her made her heart do a little somersault in her chest. Callie ordered a four course meal for them again in Italian then she poured herself another glass of champagne having already devoured her first glass of liquid courage.

"What do you want to know?"

"How about we start easy," Arizona suggested.

"Okay," Callie agreed.

"How did you learn to speak so many different languages?" Arizona wondered.

"Actually English is my second language," s he said, "We lived in Puerto Rico until I was six and we moved to Miami. It was sink or swim in the public school system."

"Brutal?" Arizona said sipping her champagne.

"Kids are resilient ya know?" she said minimizing how difficult it was for her until she learned English, "Then my father's business became international and we lived for awhile in Italy, France, Spain, and Japan."

"I am the daughter of a Marine so we moved around too," she said, "But I never learned any of the languages from the country I was living in."

"You were on an American base though, right?" Callie asked.

"Yeah," Arizona said not catching her drift.

"That's is the difference," Callie pointed out, "I was the American kid surrounded by people from another country. You were in another country surrounded by Americans."

"Still Calliope," Arizona insisted, "That's amazing, you're amazing." It wasn't that Callie didn't want to hear Arizona compliment her. She did, a little too much and that was what really bothered her. Callie tried to divert the course Arizona was steering them towards.

"Why do you call me Calliope?" she asked seriously, "Only my Nona who is 93 calls me that."

"Calliope suits you," she said simply with a shrug of her shoulders.

"How so?" Callie asked.

"It is unique and beautiful," Arizona replied holding fast to Callie's questioning brown eyes, "Just like you." Arizona delighted in the rush of pink color spreading across Callie's cheeks. Callie took a sip of her drink to disguise her blush.

"Are you blushing Call-i-o-pe," she asked drawing out each syllable in her name. Seeing Callie's uncertainty, she got serious, "You really don't know?"

"Know what?" she asked distracted by their waiter serving their appetizer. Arizona waited until the waiter left before speaking again. Leaning forward she said softly, "Don't you know who beautiful and captivating you are? The more I find out about you, the more I want to know you." Arizona saw vulnerability flicker across Callie's face.

"Deep down I do know that I am smart, attractive, and confident," Callie responded, But no matter what, at the end of the day, I am just a girl. A girl that blushed when complimented." Arizona silently wished she could make Callie see herself the way she did. Arizona wished more than anything to be the person that got to compliment Callie on a daily basis. Callie felt the air thicken with unexpressed tension. She saw Arizona's eyes darken with longing causing her to shift uncomfortably in her seat. Arizona now knew she wasn't alone in the way she felt. Callie's non-verbal body language was telling her as much. Grinning, she took a bite of her appetizer.

"Do I even want to know what is going on in that mind of yours?" Callie questioned.

"I'm just thinking about other ways to make you blush," Arizona said her voice dropping an octave. The comment had the intended result when Callie blushed again. Arizona laughed at her success.

"Not nice," Callie pouted.

"Yeah but something had to give! The tension was suffocating me," Arizona said smiling genuinely. Arizona's smile lit up her face and eyes like the fireworks on the fourth of July. Callie never really had the chance to see a true smile on her face. She realize how much she wanted to see Arizona smile, so she took the teasing in stride.

"Okay, okay, all kidding aside," Arizona surrendered getting back to business, "You're a doctor?"

_"Here we go,_" Callie thought, "Yep, board certified in Orthopedics."

"Wow," Arizona replied in awe, "Ortho is awesome not as awesome as working with children but still," Arizona waited for further explanation which didn't come so she prodded a little bit more.

"Why don't you practice?" she asked.

"I did practice for awhile," she explained, "I felt like what I was doing wasn't enough, like I needed to be doing more so I joined the army after I completed my internship." Arizona dropped her fork midway to her mouth clearly flustered.

"You were in the Army," she asked quietly not able to meet the look of concern in Callie's gaze.

"Yes, I was a combat surgeon in Iraq," Callie pressed on despite Arizona's discomfort, "I moved around quite a bit because there weren't enough doctor's to go around but I was there close to three years." Arizona was quiet for a reason. She had a unique perspective regarding the medical treatment the army provided for the wounded soldiers in Iraq. She knew Callie was curious about her reaction so she fed her a bone.

"I know," Arizona said her voice trembling, "My brother died over there because there wasn't enough doctors, so I know." Now it was Callie's turn to be shocked.

"Oh god," she replied compassionately, "I'm so sorry."

"Me too," Arizona said praying that Callie bought that and didn't probe further but she couldn't stop the rush of tears that threatened to spill out of her eyes. Callie felt like Arizona was on thin ice about to crash through so she continued her story in order to spare the other woman.

"The MASH unit I was stationed at last took a severe beating," she recounted, "I took shrapnel in my right leg, and lower abdomen. I was okay but I received a medical discharge so I came back here to Seattle."

"Are you okay now?" Arizona questioned concerned.

"Umm," Callie stalled not quite sure how to answer, "Yes and no."

"Umm, okay," Arizona replied encouraging her with her tone.

"The only thing left from the shrapnel wound is scars, but three years living in constant chaos day in and day out leaves scars in places that you can't see." Arizona nodded in understanding too familiar with unseen scars.

"I came back to residency in Ortho at Seattle Grace Mercy West," she started.

"Wait," Arizona interrupted, "You worked at Seattle Grace Mercy West too?"

"Yes I did," she answered, "I saw on your paper work that you worked there, so I did the math. I left a couple of months before you got there."

"Torres, Torres," Arizona said repeatedly wracking her brains for anything she might have heard about a Dr. Torres that worked at the hospital.

"Holy cow!" she exclaimed in excitement, "You are the Dr. Torres that made cartilage out of scratch?"

"Yeah," Callie said proudly, "That was me."

"You were on the fast track for a Harper Avery award, what happened?" she asked trying to make sense of it all.

"Post traumatic stress disorder is what happened," she told her bitterly, "I went for days without sleeping, I jumped at the slightest thing, loud noises made me freeze in terror. It started happening even when I was operating. One day I was operating, and to this day I still don't k now what triggered it but I ended up on the floor in a ball for over an hour. My patient would've died if my intern hadn't stepped up."

"Oh Callie," Arizona said reaching across the table to cover Callie's hand with her own, "That really sucks."

"Yeah," Callie laughed at Arizona's simple way of putting things, "I was like a prima ballerina with broken ankles in the operating room. Totally useless." Arizona slid her hand away when the waiter brought their en-trees.

"In order to uphold my oath to do no harm, it was strongly suggested by the chief of surgery that I take a leave of absence in order to get myself together."

"And are you?" Arizona asked taking a bit of her food, "Getting yourself together?" she said around a mouth full of food.

"I'm getting there," Callie said after thinking about it for awhile.

"Omigod Callie," Arizona said swallowing her bite of crispy fried po-lenta in a lobster cream sauce topped with huge jumbo shrimp, "This is soooo good."

"I'm glad you like it," Callie replied earnestly.

"Like it?" she clarified, "This is the best thing I've tasted in a long time. It is like my mouth is having an orgasm!" she finished with gusto.

"O-Kay," Callie chuckled slightly embarrassed by Arizona's When Harry Met Sally like outburst, "I'll make sure to pass that on to the chef."

"Mmm hmm," she agreed stuffing another bite into her mouth. Dinner was very pleasant for both ladies. The conversation flowed easily between the two of them as if they'd been friends for years instead of months.

"I get PTSD and not being able to operate," Arizona pushed her plate away, "But how the hell does a Harper Avery contender end up being a professional dominatrix?" Callie sputtered unprepared for Arizona's candor. Callie gulped water to push down the food that lodged in her throat before she really choked.

"Wow, straight for the kill huh?" she retorted wiping her mouth with her napkin, "I'll tell ya what, I will your question if you answer one of mine." Arizona contemplated the deal being offered and agreed feeling it was only fair.

"There is usually a reason why people come to Velvet for our services," she explained, "I usually can tell but with you, I draw a blank."

"What are some of the reasons people come to see you?" Arizona asked thinking that Callie might be able to put into words something she couldn't explain even to herself.

"Well there is the obvious," Callie stated, "Some people are aroused by it and you can tell because a guy will be sporting an erection or a woman might be moaning all over the place but that isn't you because there's obviously no erection, and there is no moaning."

"Nope, not me," Arizona agreed.

"Then there is the client that feels like they have something to prove to themselves," Callie continued, "If that were the case with you, you would have come one time, realized you could handle it or not and never come back."

"But I come back, so that isn't me either," Arizona said shooting down another theory.

"I know, right," she replied hoping she might be getting somewhere since her theories were being ruled out.

"You aren't exploring any fantasies because that probably would've started with something a little less intense that what you requested," she rambled on, "And if someone was forcing you, there would be some sort of emotional display like tears, so that is not you either."  
>"No I can't say that I fit into any of those categories, so what's left?" Arizona pondered wanting to help Callie figure her out.<p>

"I don't have a clue," Callie admitted out of ideas, "When you first come in, you are one way but when the session is over, it is almost as if you come alive again." She glanced quickly at Arizona to see if anything was registering with her. Arizona had a blank look on her face, similar to when she came to Velvet for her sessions.

"Oh crap!" Callie said apologetically, "I'm sorry if I pushed you too far."

"No Callie, it is okay really," she told the worried woman, "I'm not very good at anything having to do with emotions, so if I do find a way to express an emotion, it is a good things. That statement was very enlightening to Callie whether Arizona realized it or not.

"I don't know why I first came," she admitted softly, "It helped me somehow so I kept coming back. Then I found myself wanting to come back but not because I needed to. Does that make sense?"

"It does," Callie commented, "It was after we saw each other at the bar. I could tell something was different but I didn't know what."

"I'm sorry I can't give you an answer," she said remorsefully.

"Oh Arizona," she replied gently, "It's okay." Arizona closed her eyes in response to Callie's words, or rather, one word in particular. Her name. The way it rolled off Callie's tongue made her stomach churn with desire.

"That's the first time you have ever said my name out loud," she pointed out her voice thick with emotion.

"Is it?" Callie asked in disbelief.

"Mmm hmm," Arizona replied sensually, "I really like hearing you say my name." Heat rose from various places in Callie igniting a firestorm in her belly spreading all over her body at Arizona's obvious attraction.

"Don't," she whispered as a plea.

"Why not?" she replied stubbornly.

"Would you ever date one of your patients?" Callie asked.

"You do realize my patients are children, right?" she deadpanned.

"Would you ever date one of your patient's mother?" she clarified.

"I would not," she said shaking her head sadly.

"I can't cross that line either," Callie stressed hoping to make Arizona understand.

"I understand where you are coming from," Arizona sighed in defeat, "But that doesn't mean I have to like it."

"I don't like it either and if we met under different circumstances or you terminated your relationship at Velvet, who knows?" she shrugged, "Can you look me in the eyes and honestly tell me you don't need Velvet anymore?" Arizona didn't answer right away. It wasn't a simple question especially since Arizona didn't know the reasons why she went to Velvet in the first place. If she knew that, she could find another outlet to deal with whatever it was.

"No," Arizona answered bitterly, "I can't say that. I wish I could." Callie hid her disappointment.

"So we're at where we are at," she said flippantly.

"Where's that exactly?"

"I'm taking you out to dinner to thank you for helping me out with Kellie," Callie reiterated.

"Ah yes, Kellie, how could I forget," she commented cynically.

"You asked how I got started in this business," Callie said bringing up a previous question, "Well it starts with Kellie."

"Really?"

"I had known Kellie for awhile before going to Iraq but our timing was never right despite a very intense connection. But when I got back, we saw each other again, and the timing was perfect."

"So your bi-sexual?" Arizona asked instantly hating Kellie for having something she never would.

"Do I really need a label?" Callie asked out of exasperation, "Yes I like men and women. Sometimes I like men and women at the same time."

"Back to Kellie please before I start having dreams about your sex life," Arizona cautioned.

"Kellie and I became sexually involved," Callie said resuming her story, "We had an adventurous sex life to say the least, and one of the things we explored was S&M. It was Kellie's idea but I was usually up for anything." Arizona frowned torn between wanting Callie to continue and wanting her to stop talking about her having sex with someone that was not her.

"Kellie had a very stressful job as a prosecuting attorney," Callie informed, "She wanted to not be in control all the time, and I was a doctor that couldn't operated trying to regain control over my life."

"So that is how it started?" Arizona chimed in to let Callie know she was paying attention.

"Yes, we visited many establishments until we found someone reputable to take us on," she detailed, "I don't know if you realize this or not but I never do anything half assed," Arizona laughed agreeably.  
>"Go big or go home," she summarized.<p>

"Anyway, I was trained by one of the best around and realized I had a knack for it," she told Arizona.

"Yes, you do," Arizona murmured appreciatively boring directly into Callie's eyes.

"My mentor went back to England once I was properly trained," she recounted changing the subject, "I took over her clientèle which helped get Velvet off the ground."

"How many clients do you oversee?"

"Me personally?" Callie hedged not wanting Arizona to know she was her only client.

"Yeah, you?" she restated.

"I have two people besides Candy working for me so...," she stalled, "Just you."

"I'm your only client?" she asked in astonishment, "What about Kellie?"

"Kellie was never my client," she amended. Arizona shook her head trying to understand.

"What happened with you and Kellie?" she questioned trying to fill in the missing pieces.

"We fell in love," Callie replied candidly, "I just couldn't do that to her anymore."

"Why not?" Arizona asked softly.

"There is a part of Kellie that gets off on it like it is a drug," she said sadly, "It became bad for her, and it became bad for me. I wouldn't be her enabler. I couldn't hurt her like that."

"She let you go?" Arizona asked blown away.

"She let me go," Callie confirmed sorrowfully.

"Are you still in love with her?" Arizona inquired softly letting herself feel the vulnerability at the thought that Callie might still be in love with Kellie.

"You know Kellie and I didn't split up because we grew apart or didn't love each other, or because of infidelity," Callie explained while trying to get a handle on what she actually did feel for Kellie, "We separated because we loved each other so in that respect, I do still love her but I am not in love with her."

"Is it wrong for me to be glad that you aren't in love with her?" Arizona didn't realize she voiced that thought actually out loud.

"No, it is what it is," Callie said while her heart swelled at her words.

"I don't know how she did that, let you go," Arizona said subconsciously moving her hand across the table so that her fingers brushed up against Callie's, "There's nothing in this world that could make me ever let you go."

"Arizona," Callie said breathlessly. Arizona closed her eyes in response to hearing her name again. It was like a physical caress that her body was responding to accordingly.

"If you want me to respect your boundaries," she whispered strained, "Please don't say my name again. I don't know what I'll do if you do." Callie just nodded at Arizona not trusting herself to speak. Her mind kept screaming Arizona's name over and over willing her to say it out loud. It took all her will power to contain herself. Callie was afraid of what would happen if she gave in. She didn't want to be hurt again. Arizona was afraid she'd never feel anything close to what she felt when she was around Callie. Arizona broke the silence voicing another questions her mind kept churning out.

"Wait," Arizona uttered, "How does Max fit into all of this?"

"Max was never part of the S&M part of our relationship," she answered hesitantly fearing Arizona's reaction to the truth, "He was another fantasy that Kellie and I explored in our relationship. We were all three together in a relationship for awhile. But after things ended with Kellie, I couldn't be around him without thinking of Kellie, so I had to end it with him as well."

"Did you love him too?"

"Yeah I did but it was different, I never felt like Max was going to be a long term part of my future like I did with Kellie," Callie admitted.

"Do you think you'd still be together if...?"

"I don't dwell on it because it is hard to say," Callie replied, "Kellie always had political aspirations which puts a strain on any straight relationship."

"Politics isn't really conducive to a same sex relationship," Arizona commented knowingly.

"You're right but I don't have any regrets about being with Kellie or Max," she continued, "Max stayed with Kellie which probably helped her get a grip but once she did get a grip, we were able to put closure on our relationship. I don't have two lovers anymore but I do have two very loyal, and very dear friends."

"A different sort of happy ending," Arizona tried to point out the plus side of things.

"Yeah," Callie exhaled loudly, "So you pretty much know all there is to know about me."

"Somehow, I doubt that," Arizona responded wryly.

"Well that is all you are going to get out of me Missy!" Callie protested weakly.

"S'okay I'll take what I can get and thank you for sharing with me Calliope," Arizona said generously.

"Well I did owe you," Callie said.

"And I am saying we are even," Arizona told her meaningfully, "My friends are not going to believe I had dinner here. We've been trying to get in here for months!"

"Bones is my latest venture and I am really happy with its success," she replied, "Are you ready?" They walked out side by side to Callie's car. Once situated, Arizona turned to Callie.

"I have a confession to make," she admitted.

"Uh oh," Callie responded in dread, "Do I even want to know?"

"It is not bad really," Arizona replied, "I think part of the reason why I got so angry with you earlier was because I was jealous of Kellie."

"Now you know there's no reason for you to be jealous," Callie replied.

"Yeah well my kids will tell you there's no reasoning with the green-eyed monster so I wanted to apologize."

"Thank you," Callie accepted graciously, "Apology accepted."

"Good," Arizona murmured looking out the window feeling a little melancholy the night was coming to an end, "Oh and while I am thinking about it, this was by far the absolute best non-date that I've ever been on.'

"Me too," Callie agreed softly, "Me too."

Callie pulled her car in behind Arizona's SUV. She got out of the car to open the door for Arizona. Callie walked Arizona to her SUV with her hands stuffed tightly inside the pockets of her jacket. Her fists were balled into knots to keep herself from touching Arizona. Nothing could make her stop from wanting to though. Arizona got to her car door, but didn't get in. Instead, she turned around to face Callie. She closed the distance separating them so they were standing toe to toe. Callie thought Arizona was going to kiss her. But she didn't. She just stood there looking at Callie with such a soft look on her face.

"What are you doing?" Callie asked in a breathy whisper.

"Being close to you," she said grasping the lapel of Callie's jacket pulling her even closer so that the upper part of their bodies were slightly touching, "I won't get the chance to be close to you like this again," she said their lips so close Callie could feel the air of Arizona's words on her lips Callie knew the slightest movement would bring their lips together. Arizona took a deep breath inhaling Callie's scent trying to commit to memory every detail from their evening together.

"And I am thinking about what I would be doing to you know if this was a real date," she whispered honestly. Callie had to bit her lip to keep the desire from escaping her mouth.

"Good night, Calliope," Arizona said forcing herself to release Callie's jacket from her grip. She didn't wait for Callie to reply. She knew if Callie said something, anything, she would crash through any and all boundaries that Callie tried to uphold. And Arizona knew Callie would let her. So even though she wished things could be different, Arizona sped off into the night while Callie watched her disappear into the night until the red of her headlights became too small to see. Life must go on.

Note: I'm back! I didn't keep you guys waiting for long, did I? So, a lot of things were answered in this chapter. I know I still need to answer why Arizona does what she does but is there anything else that you guys are wondering about? Light up the review button and let me know. Thank you for the support. It really means a lot!

Sherri


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello my lovelies! **

** Here is the next installment of the story. I hope you enjoy it. I struggled a bit with it. Sorry to all of you out there that have been waiting patiently for this. Time has been limited these past couple of weeks. The good news is Chapter 10 should be up for the weekend! Show me some love! And let me know what you think of the latest chapter. Thank you, as always.**

**Your humble servant,**

**Sherri(:**

**Chapter 9: The Crying Game**

The candid discussion at the restaurant left things as clear as muddy water for both women. Arizona could no longer schedule an appointment just for the sake of wanting to see Callie. Callie would see right through her ruse. So, Arizona knew she'd see Callie again but dreaded the reasons why even if she didn't have a clue why. Callie experienced the feeling of dread as well because she knew whatever was torturing Arizona would ultimately bring Arizona to her knees. Literally. Callie didn't want to see that. When something like that is on the line, forever can never be long enough. It came too soon for Callie. She got ready for her appointment with a heavy heart despite the whimsical naughty school girl outfit she choose for the session complete with pigtails. She didn't bother to camouflage her presence in Arizona's room. She just wanted to get the session over with. As usual, Callie took a mental assessment of her client. She could barely contain her gasp of horror at Arizona's appearance. There were dark circles under her eyes, her bright blue eyes were completely washed out, the luxurious blond hair was dull and listless. But what scared Callie the most was the gaunt face, and protruding ribs that indicated recent weight loss. Arizona almost reminded her of the horrid pictures she'd seen in school of the holocaust. What Callie did next came as a surprise even to herself. She left the room going around the corner to the observation room. Cristina opened the door with a question knitted in her brows.

"Cristina, I want you to leave," she instructed.

"What, Callie, no!" Cristina responded shrugging off the comment like it was no big deal. Callie's nostrils flared indignantly as she took a deep, calming breath trying to remember that Cristina only had her best interests at heart.

"Cristina, I know you are my friend and that you are trying to look out for me but what you need to remember is that I am also your boss and as your boss I am telling you to leave me along with Arizona."

"Fine," Cristina snapped, "I'll leave you alone with Ari-zona but when this blows up in your face and it will, I'm going to be all over you with I told you so."

"Of course you will," Callie replied knowingly, "I'd expect nothing less." Cristina stomped off in the direction of the elevator mumbling irritably. Callie waited until Cristina got into the elevator before returning to the room. She deviated for their normal routine electing to sit on the middle cushion on the leather couch against the wall.

"Come here," she commanded in such an authoritative tone that no one would question her bidding. Arizona crawled on her hands and knees to the couch stopping next to Callie's feet on the ground.

"I want you to lay across my lap with your head here and your legs here," she indicated to Arizona the exact position she wanted Arizona in. Even though it meant a significant amount of physical contact, Arizona didn't question anything. She just robotically did as she was told. Once she was settled, Callie spoke again in that ominous tone.

"We're going to do thing differently today," she paused to make sure Arizona was paying attention," I'm going to ask you a question, and when you give me what I want, only then will I give you what you want. Do you understand?"

"Yes ma'am," Arizona replied softly. Callie brought her hand down swiftly on Arizona's bare cheeks in reward for answering her first question. Arizona was not prepared for the blow so she jumped.

"Sit still," Callie ordered harshly, and Arizona settled down.

"Did you work today?" Callie posed.

"No ma'am," she answered immediately earning another stinging slap.

"Did you work yesterday?" Callie continued her interrogation. Callie had a gut feeling that something about work triggered these episodes in Arizona.

"Yes ma'am," Arizona replied automatically. She was rewarded with another sharp crack on the back of her thighs.

"_Hmm," _Callie thought to herself, "_Maybe I'm on the right track after all."_

"Did something happen to you at work yesterday?" Callie threw the question out like a fisherman casting out his bait. Arizona hesitated before taking the bait.

"Answer me now or you will be sorry," Callie threatened.

"Yes ma'am," she responded. Callie slapped her thigh again. Arizona's back side and thigh were a patch work quilt of red hand prints.

"Did you lose a patient?" Callie asked thinking of things that could happen to her that might affect her in a similar fashion to Arizona.

"Yes ma'am," came the meek reply from Arizona. Callie thought that she was on the right track but was slightly confused by why the death of a patient would traumatize Arizona since losing patients is part of what being a doctor is all about.

"Is this the first time you ever lost a patient?" she wondered more to herself than Arizona but Arizona answered negatively. Callie brought her hand down so hard that Arizona finally flinched. The bite of Callie's hand was getting to her. It meant she was feeling something at last. Callie decided to switch strategies.

"You lost a patient," she said scornfully, "You are a shitty doctor."

"No ma'am," Arizona responded quickly.

"I wasn't asking a question. I am telling you that if you lost a patient, then that means you are a shitty doctor." Callie could feel Arizona tense up beneath her so she continued her strategy of goading Arizona hoping the gamble would pay off.

"I mean you are a resident for God's sake, its not your first day at the rodeo. You should've saved that patient's life."

"You don't know what you are talking about," Arizona said thought clenched teeth. Something was stirring inside Arizona.

"Sure I do," Callie replied smugly, "Because of your negligence, because of your poor care, some poor mother was left without a child to tuck into bed and kiss good night." Arizona began to turn over so she could get up off Callie's lap. She managed to turn herself around halfway before Callie pinned her beneath her body.

"Where do you think you're going pet? I never said you could move."

"Get off of me," Arizona growled ferociously.

"No I won't get off of you unless you say the words. Are you giving up already pet?" Callie asked making reference to Arizona's safe word.

"No ma'am," Arizona said caustically.

"You're so weak it's pathetic," Callie told the woman underneath her.

"I'm weak," Arizona said infuriated. She began maneuvering her body underneath Callie's trying to create some distance between their bodies. She twisted her body so that she was almost on her right side with her back against the couch. Callie struggled to maintain her dominant position on top but Arizona used the space created to push Callie's left arm out from under her while pushing Callie's body at the same time causing her to lose her balance. Before Callie knew it, Arizona had pushed her off onto the floor. She landed on her left side with a painful jolt. Arizona sprung from the couch like a coiled snake ready to strike.

"I'm weak, I'm weak," she shouted, "That's real rich coming from the woman that chooses to be a, a, dominatrix when she could be in an operating room right now making an actual difference in someone's life." Callie rubbed her bruised thigh listening as Arizona shot insults one right after the other as if they were arrows. Callie stood up to face Arizona.

"Insulting me isn't going to get you what you want," she told the angry woman.

"Oh suddenly you are the expert on what I want," Arizona replied haughtily, "Let me hear this. It's gonna be hilarious."

"It's all about control," Callie said plainly.

"Control? That's your answer? Arizona asked unimpressed, "I think I just proved to you right now who is in control here today."

"And no one is disputing that," Callie said throwing her hands out in exasperation, "You've always been the one in control here. That is what a safe word is for." Arizona's eyes narrowed in contemplation at what Callie was saying. Arizona stalked over to the wall where the equipment was displayed. She picked up a cane testing it in the air making a whooshing sound. Callie crossed her arms over her chest getting quite agitated at Arizona's lack of regard for her things. Callie knew for a fact that Arizona wouldn't want her traipsing around her operating room picking up things, testing them out and then putting them back.

"I'm not sure I follow you," Arizona said replacing the cane and picking up a tawse

"You're not following," Callie spat contemptuously, "How shocking," Arizona tested the tawse against the leather rest of the spanking bench while Callie seethed internally.

"The tawse was the main form of discipline in the Scottish educational system," Arizona recalled the information given to her during her first session with Callie. She began listing off the qualities of the other instruments as well.

"So you can actually listen when you want to. Is that it?" Callie asked.

"I'm listening now and I'm still waiting for your big revelation." Arizona told Callie.

"Something happened that made you feel like you were losing your choke hold grip on the control that keeps you together day in and day out."

"That's it?" Arizona asked beginning to circle Callie. Callie mirrored Arizona's posture and they were circling each other like two prize fighters in the ring looking for weakness in the other.

"I'm always in control Calliope," she said using her name purposefully to assert control over the situation.

"Huh that's is interesting," Callie said thoughtfully.

"What, what is so interesting?" Arizona asked beginning to get angry.

"If you are always in control, how come your patient died yesterday?"

"How come, ha ha. She didn't die because I wasn't in control. I did everything I could to save that little girl." Arizona screamed so loud her vocal chords burned. She paced the room running thought the extensive list of all the life saving procedures she used on the kid. Callie just listened intently with her arms still crossed over her chest. Arizona finally stopped throwing her hands up in the air.

"What happened?" Callie questioned.

"Her heart wasn't strong enough to survive the surgery," Arizona answered.

"Can't control someone else's heart, and unless you are God, which you aren't, you are not going to be able to save them all."

"Yeah well I lost my faith in God years ago, so in my OR, I'm as close to God as my patients can get," Arizona said cynically. Callie walked over to where Arizona was standing. Grabbing her by the upper arms, she forced Arizona into a position of attention.

"No matter how God like you are in the operating room, you will NEVER be able to save them all." Arizona broke out of Callie's grip.

"I know that I can't save them all. Thank you for rubbing that in," she began to ramble, "I can't seem to save anyone lately. I couldn't even save him. I'm a good doctor, I am and I couldn't save him. I couldn't." She kept right on rambling making little to no sense. Callie intuited Arizona was close to unraveling.

"Him? You couldn't save him, Who?" Callie posited.

"What are you talking about? My patient was an 11 year old girl." Arizona asked irked that Callie wasn't paying attention.

"Yeah but you said your couldn't even save him. Who were you talking about?" Callie pressed.

"I didn't say that," Arizona said backing away emotionally from the road this conversation was on.

"Yes you did Arizona. You did say it. Don't chicken out on me now," Callie challenged. Arizona snapped to attention hearing Callie say her name for the first time ever in their professional relationship. It was a strategic move on Callie's part because she was hoping hearing her name would cause Arizona to tap into the emotions she was so desperately suppressing and ultimately unravel her enough to get to the bottom of what was troubling Arizona.

"Don't do this to me, Callie," she begged in a whisper tears springing to life in her eyes.

"Don't do what, Arizona?" Callie continued pushing.

"Don't make me talk about it. I c-c-can't," she stammered.

"How do you know? Have you ever tried?" She threw it out there. Arizona looked wildly around the room for a way out. She shook her head no in response to the questio0n.

"Are you referring to your brother when you said you couldn't even save him?" Callie wouldn't quit her pushing. Arizona stopped her pacing abruptly at the mention of her brother.

"That's it, isn't it? Your brother." Callie said knowingly.

"It is not that simple Callie. What does a patient dying have to do with my brother?" Arizona asked trying to throw a wrench into the conversation long enough for Arizona to think of a way out.

I don't know. You said you couldn't save everyone, not even him. Why do you feel like you killed your brother?" she asked almost as an aside until she saw Arizona double over clutching her stomach in pain. Hearing Callie voice out loud words she dared not even think of out of fear of the havoc it would cause in her life caused Arizona so much pain that it felt like she'd been hit with a sledge hammer in her guts.

"I can't talk about this," she said quickly through the waves of pain.

"You have to," Callie said impassioned.

"Why, why is it so important to you?" Arizona wondered.

"Because anyone with eyes can see that whatever it is, whether it is guilt or shame, it is eating you up alive." Callie replied a little bit too close to home. Arizona walked to the bed still clutching her stomach and sat down.

"I'm afraid," she admitted weakly.

"What are you scared of?" Callie pondered.

"It takes all I have an then some to keep the feelings at bay. I'm afraid if I do let them out, I'll get lost in the darkness and never be able to find my way out."

"I won't let you get lost Arizona," Callie said sitting down beside her on the bed.

"Why, why do you care so much?" she asked exasperated.

"Because I don't like seeing you in such pain, and when you lose a patient, it triggers something in your. That's originally what brought you here the first time."

"That's right. I'd just lost a cancer patient that I'd been treating for years," Arizona thought through all the times she came because she needed something instead of the times she came solely to see Callie. Sure enough, a pattern emerged.

"Okay, you are right," she admitted begrudgingly, "I usually came to you after I lost a patient."

"Have you always taken it so personally when patient dies?" Callie probed.

"No." Arizona denied.

"When did it start to affect you this way?" She continued digging.

"Three years ago," Arizona responded dismissively hoping Callie would let this bone drop. But of course she wouldn't.

"What happened three years ago?" she asked. Arizona suddenly jumped from the bed.

"No," she said forcefully. Callie stood up as well following Arizona's erratic movements with her eyes.

"What happened three years ago, Arizona?" she pushed. Again, her name, it would be her down fall. Arizona rushed at Callie invading her space.

"NO," she snarled in Callie's face but Callie refused to back down.

"What are you afraid of?" she tried to coax a response out of Arizona.

"What are you afraid of," Arizona parroted, "What are you afraid of? You're a fucking rock star with a scalpel or so I've heard but instead you do this?"

"You never had any complaints before," Callie commented neutrally, "Putting this back on me won't work. What happened three years ago?"

"This is my life!" Arizona shouted pushing forward making Callie have to take a step backward, "Why the hell do you care so much?"

"I don't know," Callie said with a shrug.

"Wow something you don't know," Arizona retorted sarcastically.

"I don't know why I care so much about you." Callie said finally taking Arizona's bait. She stepped forward stubbornly refusing to back down until she was right back into Arizona's space.

"I wish to God I didn't care so much because then I could leave you to rot from the inside out with your pain but I do care so I won't let you so tell me WHAT happened three years ago?"

"Don't Callie," Arizona begged, "Please, don't."

"Tell me about him," Callie said softly taking a shot in the dark remembering a distant conversation at Bones where Arizona mentioned her brother.

"No!" Arizona shouted pushing Callie with such force that she stumbled back falling onto the bed.

"You don't get it, you don't understand anything," Arizona yelled pointing an accusing finger in Callie's face.

"Then help me understand Arizona, please," Callie responded softly yet refusing to give in or give up. All of a sudden, the fight went out of Arizona. It was like a puppet being cut from its strings. Callie saw Arizona deflate before it happened catching her before she crashed to the floor in a heap. Callie used the momentum to swivel Arizona planting her onto the bed. She pulled Arizona into her chest holding her there. Something in the kindness of Callie's gestures and her concern broke through the emotional dam Arizona built around her heart, and she began to cry. It started out slowly, like trickle but once the tears flowed, the hole in the dam got bigger and bigger as more pressure was released until the sobs were soul wrenching coming from a dark wild place. Her body trembled from the exertion. Callie held on tight stroking Arizona's hair murmuring calm, soothing statements hoping the repetitive nature of her actions would calm the distraught woman to where she could at least talk. Callie was not normally a patient person but she'd pushed Arizona enough so she'd wait her out. She would hunker down and wait out this storm. Arizona deserved that much courtesy. Arizona finally cried herself to a stand still. Once she got her bearings, she was immediately mortified at their position on the bed. She untangled herself from Callie sitting on the side of the bed.

"I'm sorry," she said with her back to Callie unable to look at her.

"Don't be, Arizona. I'm not," Callie said sitting up slowly, "Something tells me that it has been a loooonnnggg time since you cried."

"Try never," came Arizona's attempt at a joke.

"You never cry?" came Callie's astonished response.

"No, well, yeah," Arizona said trying poorly to explain, "I cry at weddings, when I hear the song Silent Night and ooohh the National Anthem gets me every time!"

"How about the death of your brother," Callie interrupted, "Did you ever cry about that?" Arizona looked at her with wounded eyes.

"What good would crying about him do? She said sadly, "It's never going to change the fact that I am the one responsible for his death." Callie did a mental fist pump feeling that she was finally getting somewhere.

"How are you responsible?" Callie asked genuinely curious.

"You are never going to let his go are you?" Arizona sighed heavily.

"All I know is that something is eating you alive, and it is very, very hard to watch," she said truthfully, "You came here looking for help of some sort, and honestly if I thought beating your ass would fix it, fix you, I'd blister your ass every time but it's not working. It is just a band-aid. If you can tell me that I am wrong, then I will drop it."

"You're not wrong," Arizona answered resignation evident in her weary voice, "I've tried everything and nothing works."

"Have you tried talking about it?" Callie suggested.

"Actually, I've done everything I can to avoid talking about it," she responded.

"How's that working out for ya?" she asked ironically, "And besides it probably takes more strength and energy to not talk about it."

"I am afraid that if I go into that dark place, I'll get lost in the darkness." Callie took Arizona's hands in hers.

"I won't let you get lost," she vowed, "What was your brother's name?"

"Tim," she answered, "His name was Tim."

"Nice name," Callie encouraged.

"He was six years younger than me," Arizona said haltingly trying to start with the basics and work her way into deeper waters.

"He followed me around from the time he could crawl," she said smiling at the memories.

"Typical younger sibling," Callie interjected.

"I never minded though," she commented, "With all the moving we did, he was the one thing that made me feel like I wasn't alone in the world."

"He was a constant in your life," Callie summarized.

"Yeah," she agreed, "Tim didn't go to college right away so he graduated from college when I was graduating from medical school." Arizona had a far away look on her face and Callie could tell Arizona was back in that moment. She also sensed that things were going to get a lot deeper.

"I was like you struggling with finding my purpose in this world as a doctor," Arizona continued to explain, "I figured the best way to use my skills would be to join the army." Callie's jaw hit the floor while she struggled at the thought that she could've met Arizona under completely different circumstances, and what might be as a result. She shook that off not wanting to make this about her.

"My father was thrilled of course. My mother worried but knew it was something I felt I had to do."

"You don't strike me as the type to change her mind easily," Callie supplied.

"Ya think?" Arizona replied coyly, "Anyway Tim came to me a few days later to tell me that he enlisted as well. He said he couldn't bare the thought of me being all alone so far from home." Arizona's face took on that wistful, far away look that meant she was no longer in the present but living in the memories of her mind. She could see Tim's eager blue eyes, easy smile, and need for acceptance from his older sister. Hell, she could almost smell the soap he used and feel the crispness of his shirt underneath the strong muscles in his back as she hugged him that day. Callie indulged her lapse in conversation. Arizona eventually returned to the unpleasant present.

"Honestly, I was glad to have my brother tagging along after me again, and of course my father could barely contain his joy that both of his children were following in his footsteps," She paused to find her place in her story, "We went through basic training together."

"Yuck," Callie said disdainfully remembering her own misadventures at basic training.

"Six weeks of hell but we got through it just like we always did, together." Callie could tell by the tone of Arizona's voice that she was once again off in another place.

"My father pulled some strings and we both had the same deployment orders. A week before we were to ship out, our mother was diagnosed with stage two breast cancer."

"Oh Arizona," Callie said sympathetically squeezing Arizona's hands.

"It was Tim that convinced me that I had to stay and oversee our mother's treatment in order to make sure she got the best care possible."

"Hardship?" Callie questioned to see if that is how Arizona was let out of the army.

"Hardship," she agreed nodding her head, "But Tim went anyway and he, he, he died," she gasped for air feeling like there was an elephant on her chest, "Because of me he died."

"No," Callie countered, "You didn't kill him."

"I may as well have Callie," she argued, "Don't you see? He would never have enlisted if I hadn't done it first. And I have so many questions. Did he die instantly, or did he suffer, did he die alone or was someone there holding his hand," she rambled on before Callie stopped her.

"How do you know for certain that he would still be alive today if he was never in the army," she pondered reasonably, "You can't say for sure that if he stayed he would still be alive." Callie tried to refute the guilt Arizona felt with rational questions.

"Damn it Callie," She snapped, "I get that logically but my heart will never accept that."

"Listen to me Arizona Robbins, you did not kill your brother. You didn't," she insisted.

"It will be three years this Thursday that we got the news," she said morosely. Arizona's body began to hum with pain like an electric current. She fought hard against the pain that threatened to consume her whole. Callie felt Arizona's pain as well. She pulled Arizona down against her once more.

"Give me some of your pain Arizona. Let it out," she instructed, "It's alright, I can take it." Permission was all the beast ever needed to be unleashed. It rushed to the surface like a snake striking its prey. Once free, Arizona was helpless against the the poison as it coursed through her in the form of salty, hot tears. She clung to Callie like a life raft helplessly adrift in a deadly storm. Callie absorbed Arizona's pain in waves and silent tears leaked from the corner of her eyes. She willed herself to remain calm so that maybe it would be reflected back into Arizona. Callie utilized the same slow, repetitive motions from earlier as she stroked Arizona from head to lower back.

"You've been carrying this around for so long, just cry, let it out," she said gently. Arizona cried even harder hearing compassion pouring out in Callie's words.

"You lost your brother, a part of you. No wonder you feel so hurt," she continued. Arizona began to moan like a wounded animal caught in the steel teeth of a vice grip.

"You are a good sister, you are a good daughter, you are a good doctor, and you are a GOOD person," she stated with conviction, "You deserve to be happy. It's time to let this go. He wouldn't want this for you Arizona." Callie could tell she was impacting Arizona because her sobs and moans became less and less. After awhile Arizona finally composed herself enough to speak.

"You really believe everything you said, don't you?" she asked her voice hoarse from crying. She was trying to gage whether Callie was trying to placate her or whether or not she was being completely sincere.

"Yeah I do," she said emphatically, "Don't you?"

"Well it is easier to believe in yourself if someone else goes first," Arizona told her.

"Well I am the first in line and I am all for believing in you, okay?" Callie told her.

"Okay," Arizona agreed half-heartedly, "Callie?"

"Yeah?" she answered.

"I got suspended for a week yesterday," Arizona informed her friend.

"What did you do, and do I need to get my paddle out for you?" she laughed.

"Well the upcoming anniversary of my brother's death, losing another kid...let's just say I didn't take it too well," Arizona informed her.

"What exactly did you do?" she questioned.

"I kinda went off on the chief telling him he lost his balls when he quit drinking and that he was much more likable when he was a stinking drunk," Arizona replied giggling out of nerves.

"You didn't," Callie asked horrified.

"I did," she replied, "Did I mention it was during a hospital wide staff meeting?"

"Nope," Callie said slapping her hand against her thigh because she was laughing so hard.

"Yeah," Arizona continued her story, "I think he had to save face by suspending me to use me as an example of what will happen if you disrespect the big, bad chief of surgery."

"What will you do?" Callie asked worried about Arizona having so much free time on her hands at such a pivotal moment in her life.

"I don't know," she answered simply and honestly, "Whatever I always wanted to do but never had the time because I was always working. Liiikkkkeee paint my living room, go to the museum of modern art, stay in my jammies all day long. I am actually looking forward to not feeling so damn responsible every second of every day."

"Do you think that is why you..." Callie trailed off hoping Arizona would pick up her implications.

"I always take it hard when I lose a kid, but it is harder for me to bounce back since..." It was her turn to trail off leaving Callie to grasp her implications, "I guess I do feel like I should've been able to save them all."

"Hmm, okay," Callie said giving Arizona a gentle squeeze.

"You're not going to try and tell me otherwise?" Arizona asked posturing up on her elbow to look at Callie.

"No I don't think that would work," she said brushing a stray lock of hair off of Arizona's face, "Besides the best lessons are the ones you learn on your own."

"You mean the hard way," she interpreted. Callie just smiled enigmatically letting Arizona deliberate on her own without anymore of her input. Arizona arrived at the conclusion that while she still had a long, twisty road ahead of her, talking about it did make her feel a little bit better.

"Thank you Callie," she said breaking the stillness, "I actually do feel better and I will still be able to sit!" Callie chuckled.

"I'm glad I could be there for you." And then out of the blue, both women simultaneously became aware of the intimacy of their positions. They were laying together, semi nude in a bed. The air stopped moving as the unexpressed tension became stifling.

"I guess I better get going," Arizona said awkwardly.

"Yeah I guess so," Callie concurred, "Your time has been up for awhile now."

"I'm not keeping you from something am I?" Arizona asked worried.

"Oh. No, no," Callie assured, "Nothing like that. I sometimes get verbal diarrhea when I am nervous. Callie got up raising her hands over her head to stretch out her back.

"Verbal diarrhea huh?" Arizona retorted wryly.

"Is that what I said," Callie asked trying to recount her last words, "See I can't even help myself."

"Do I make you nervous Calliope?" Arizona asked coyly batting her eyelashes innocently.

"You know what?" Callie said peeved at being teased, "Make sure you wash your hair."

"Are you telling me I look bad?" Arizona asked for clarification.

"No I am not saying a thing," she answered walking away, "Oh and you might want to make sure you wash really good too." She closed the door before Arizona had a chance to reply. Arizona wondered at Callie's implication. She sniffed her armpits out of curiosity.

"I don't smell damn it," she said aloud to an empty room, _"But a long hot shower never hurts!"_ she finished the thought to herself.

Callie went to her office to get a change of clothes. She put on some comfortable yoga pants and a t-shirt. She brushed out her hair, and toned down her make up. When she was done, she picked up the phone on her desk placing a call to a friend from her army days. The friend owed her a favor, and the bill had just came due. After that was done, Callie went downstairs to wait for Arizona. She wanted to be the one to see Arizona out.

Arizona took her time in the luxurious shower. She even washed her hair two times for good measure. She got out of the shower. Using her towel, she wiped the steam off the mirror, and was greeted by a person she had not see in a very long time. Almost three years to be exact. The old Arizona greeted her with clear eyes and a warm smile as if to say, "Where ya been," and "I've missed you." That Arizona was upbeat, and could turn any situation into something positive. Unencumbered. It felt damn good, and she vowed to her reflection in the mirror to do whatever she could to stay that way. She dressed with a renewed zest for life.

"_I'm going to have a good life,_" she promised herself. She left the bathroom to see Callie waiting for her on the couch.

"Hey," she said tentatively because she was not expecting to see Callie again.

"Hey, I am going to walk you out if that is okay," Callie asked unsure.

"Of course," Arizona said throwing her bag over her shoulder, "Let's go." They walked the short distance to the door as slow as a snail neither woman wanting their time together to come to an end. Callie reluctantly swung the door open holding it ajar for Arizona. Arizona walked into the daylight. She looked at the world with new eyes. Everything seemed brighter, cleaner. She turned to cast her gaze at Callie wanting to see her with new eyes as well.. She looked at Callie seeing Callie smiling wistfully at her. Callie didn't seem any different to her at all. Arizona just realized what exactly it was when she looked at Callie. She saw a woman she could fall in love with. Arizona smiled brightly at Callie. They stood ginning at each other like two Cheshire cats for an eternity.

"Thank you again Calliope," Arizona said tilting her head to one side, "I'll never forget the gift you gave me today."

"You're welcome," Callie replied sincerely amazed that such an emotionally repressed woman could have such a way with words, "I'm glad we could be together in bed, no in the dungeon, on the bed."

"Verbal diarrhea?" Arizona commented knowingly.

"Yes damn it," Callie said mad at herself for getting so flustered.

"I know what you mean," she said taking pity on Callie for her endearing awkwardness, "Well good-bye Calliope."

"Good bye Arizona," Callie answered back watching her walk away.

"Hey Arizona," she called out to the retreating woman. Arizona stopped in her tracks secretly hoping Callie would do something to stop her from walking away.

"Yeah," she asked hopefully.

"I hope I don't see you ever again," Callie stated. Arizona raised her brows in question.

"Wouldn't that be bad for business?" she commented dryly.

"Ugh that is not what I mean," she stammered with an explanation fearing that she'd offended Arizona until she saw Arizona barely able to contain her laughter.

"I'd survive!" she retorted indignantly, "Good bye Arizona."

"Good bye ma'am, " Arizona replied cheekily. Callie shut the door on the woman. It almost felt like she was closing the door on what could very well have been her life. A very happy one at that.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Sexual Healing (It's Something That's Good For Me)**

**If you like it, let me know! Hit that review button. I am always appreciative of feedback. I've got some loyal reviewers that are awesome, and I love them! I hope you know who you are :) This chapter is for you.**

Arizona was leaving work one rainy Seattle evening after a grueling shift. She was looking forward to a hot bath, and some comfort food. Exiting the doors of the hospital, Arizona saw a sight that made her heart catch for a minute. Callie was pacing the sidewalk back and forth anxiously. She was wearing form fitting blue jeans, a deep purple long sleeve jersey t-shirt with brown leather jacket, and brown Frye motorcycle boots. Her hands were jammed into the pockets of her coat. She was so engrossed in thought that she didn't seem to notice anyone around her. She stopped pacing long enough to look in the direction of the hospital entrance. There she saw Arizona standing about 15 feet away with an unreadable look on her face. Arizona was the one that moved first closing the distance between them until she stood about two feet away from Callie.

"I didn't expect to see you here again. Is everything alright Calliope?" she asked concerned. Callie shuffled her feet anxiously looking anywhere else but at Arizona.

"No," Callie answered clipped, "Everything is not alright."

"Are you hurt, is it Kellie?" she inquired alarm rising like the tide.

"I'm okay, she's okay," Callie responded, "Is there someplace we could go to talk?" Arizona studied Callie to figure out what was going on but came up empty handed.

"I live over there," she said pointing across the street, "Do you want to go to my apartment?"

"Yes that would be fine," Callie responded but didn't move to follow Arizona as she walked away. Arizona turned to see Callie frozen. She went back to Callie grabbing her hand gently pulling her forward. Once Callie was moving, Arizona didn't release her hand. Instead, she intertwined their fingers holding Callie's hand the entire way to her apartment. Something was definitely up with Callie because the Callie Arizona knew would never let her get away with such an infraction She had to let go once she go to her door in order to get her keys out to unlock the door. Callie followed Arizona into the apartment mutely. Arizona took Callie's jacket while Callie looked around Arizona's apartment. It was warm and inviting just like Arizona. Arizona stood by the floor to ceiling window over looking the city waiting for Callie to speak. However, Callie was struggling with what she wanted to say. Arizona sensed her turmoil and tried to take some of the burden from her for a change.

"What's going on Callie?" Arizona said softly trying to coax Callie into talking.

"Last time I saw you," she hesitated not sure how to proceed.

"Yeah?" Arizona countered.

"I broke the rules with you," Callie explained. Arizona still didn't understand where Callie was coming from because as far as she was concerned, no rules were broken.

"I'm not following you, Calliope," she said walking from the window approaching Callie.

"I allowed physical contact between us during your last session," she further clarified that by holding her, comforting her, she broke one of the unspoken rules by not remaining detached.

"Oh," Arizona said catching on, "Well don't worry Callie. I'm not going to hold it against you or file some complaint against you with the BDSM police for it." Arizona attempted brevity to lighten up the situation.

"No, you still don't get it," Callie said turning around to face Arizona, "I did exactly what I wanted to do."

"What are you saying?" Arizona whispered daring to hope just a little that Callie felt the same way she did.

"I told you I don't want to see you in the dungeon anymore," she said staring longingly into Arizona's eyes, "But that doesn't mean I don't want to see you. I...I want to see you in the real world."

It took Arizona a moment for Callie's words to travel to Arizona's brain. When they did, she grabbed Callie by the back of her neck pulling her in brusquely for a long over due scorching kiss. Arizona's lips met Callie's in an explosion of passion. Callie couldn't help but to moan wantonly at the feel of Arizona's lips moving against hers finally. Arizona put her other arm around Callie's waist pulling her in tighter against her body. Callie cupped Arizona's ass in her hands melding the lower half of their bodies while their mouths continued getting to know each other. Arizona pulled her lips back so they were just out of reach. Callie pressed forward missing the heat of Arizona's lips but Arizona retreated farther away teasing Callie. She opened her eyes to find Arizona smiling at her. Growling, she reclaimed Arizona's lips with her own. Arizona took control over the kiss deepening it by opening her mouth slightly inviting Callie inside. Callie's tongue met Arizona's eagerly. Now it was Arizona's turn to moan at the feeling of Callie's velvet tongue moving sinuously against her own. Callie's hands wandered up and down Arizona's back finally sliding up underneath the scrub top resting her hands on Arizona's bare hips. She stroked her thumbs sensually against the protrusion of Arizona's hip bones while she nipped and sucked Arizona's bottom lip. Feeling Arizona shiver, Callie became even bolder by dipping her thumbs under the hem of Arizona's pants pushing them down a little so she could stroke the delicate skin in the hollow of Arizona's hip bone. It was her favorite place on a woman. Finally feeling Callie touch her because she wanted to touch her made Arizona tremble all over. Arizona reluctantly pulled away from the kiss.

"Should we slow down?" she asked intrepidly.

"I want you Arizona," Callie said in a throaty voice, "I don't want to wait any longer, do you?"

"No, god, no," Arizona rasped pushing Callie until she was backed up against the couch.

"The couch is for kids," she said sensually nipping at Arizona's lips, "Take me to bed Arizona." Arizona grabbed Callie's hand in hers walking them to her room. She turned around to face Callie bringing her hands up to cup Callie's face. Callie noticed they were shaking. She clasped her hands around Arizona's to calm her down.

"You have done this before," Callie asked part statement and part question.

Arizona looked down at the floor for a moment then back up to Callie before responding, "Not with you. I haven't done this with you before." Callie bridged the distance between their lips once again. This kiss was slow, deliberate and very thorough. Tongues slid back and forth giving as much as they were taking. Arizona moved her hands down to the hem of Callie's shirt. She grasped the material in her hands lifting it upwards. Callie raised her hands above her head to allow Arizona to remove her shirt. Arizona discarded the shirt taking in the sight of Callie in her barely there bra. She brought her lips back to Callie's briefly before moving to place searing kisses all over her neck dipping her tongue sensually in Callie's ear. She resumed nipping, and sucking her way down to Callie's shoulder sliding her bra strap down on both arms. Callie slid her arms out as Arizona pushed it further down freeing her breasts from their confines. Callie tried to push Arizona down on the bed but Arizona used the momentum to spin Callie around and onto the bed. She took Callie by the foot yanking one boot off the the next. She unhooked the clasp of Callie's pants yanking them down over her hips with Callie lifting her lips in assistance. Arizona quickly rid Callie of her underwear as well. The only thing left was the scrap of the lace bra around Callie's midsection. She decided to leave it there liking how the pink contrasted with Callie's skin tone. Callie sat up to get Arizona's clothes off. Between the two of them, Arizona was naked in no time. Callie grabbed Arizona by her ass until she was standing in between her legs. She nuzzled the valley between Arizona's breasts inhaling her unique scent. Callie moved her mouth hovering over one of Arizona's nipples. She could feel Callie's hot breath on her nipple causing it to tighten into a pebble hard rock. Callie tormented the swollen peak circling around it with her tongue over and over before encasing it entirely in her mouth and sucking lightly. Arizona grabbed a fistful of Callie's hair using it as leverage pushing Callie into her breast encouragingly. Callie pulled the nipple between her teeth tugging at it before letting it go. Callie then paid the other nipple similar attention causing Arizona to moan at the exquisite pleasure. It was all she could do at times to stand upright. Then in an instant, Arizona found herself standing at the bed alone. Callie had moved herself further onto the bed so that her head was laying on the pillow. She was spread out on display, and Arizona looked. She looked at the womanly curves of Callie's hips, to her sensuous full breasts with their mocha colored nipples, and finally down to Callie's pussy. Callie's legs were slightly parted and Arizona could see the sheen of wetness peaking out behind Callie's swollen lips. It made Arizona lick her lips in anticipation.

"Come here Arizona," Callie beckoned with a finger. Arizona crawled onto the bed covering Callie's body with her own. Laying bare against Callie was divine finally feeling the other woman skin against hers.

"I really like it when you say my name," Arizona whispered hotly into Callie's ear slipping the sensitive lobe into her mouth causing Callie to strain against her.

"Arizona, Arizona, Arizona," Callie moaned causing Arizona to grind herself into Callie. Callie intertwined their legs sealing them even tighter together at the waist. Callie could feel Arizona's nipples against her breasts as well. When she looked down between their bodies, she could see the roundness of their breasts pressed up against one another leaving no doubt that Arizona was a woman. The whole experience and realization was completely erotic and bolstered Callie's arousal until she could feel the wetness pouring out of her. She could also feel a slickness coming from the woman on top of her.

"I can feel how wet you are," she said meeting Arizona's thrusts with her own.

"Damn it Calliope," Arizona swore, "I promised myself if I ever got the chance to be with you like this, I would take my time. Savor each moment, savor you," Arizona moved her hips in time with Callie's thrusts, "But all I really want to do is make you come."

"Mmm," moaned against Arizona's lips as her hips picked up their lustful pace, "Slow is overrated. Make me come Arizona." Arizona growled laying fierce claim on Callie's luscious lips kissing her fiercely as she pressed herself harder into Callie grabbing her under her ass adding more friction. Callie's movements became frantic as she approached the point of no return. The feeling started in her chest and legs pulsing its way toward Callie's core like the fuse of dynamite being ignited following the trail until it reaches the dynamite. Callie literally exploded in an orgasm so intense that she saw stars behind her eyes and so extreme that she dug her nails into Arizona's ass leaving ten red crescent shaped marks as she rode out the after shocks of her orgasm. Arizona stilled her body only when she felt Callie go limp. She held herself up on her elbows so she could nuzzle Callie's neck kissing her softly from her forehead, nose, chin, to her eyelids. Callie smiled pulling Arizona into a languid kiss. Callie broke the kiss finally opening her eyes to see Arizona looking down at her.

"Welcome back," she said tenderly as she rubbed her nose against Callie's. Callie smiled shyly up at Arizona. Callie shifted her body a little bit feeling Arizona tense as she did so. She saw Arizona biting her lip in order to keep herself from groaning pleasurably. Arizona wanted to give the other woman time to recharge and thought nothing about her needs.

"Move," Callie ordered in a soft, commanding tone of voice. Arizona complied rising to her knees. Callie scooted up so that her back was against the headboard. She pulled Arizona towards her until she was straddling her waist. She wrapped Arizona's legs securely around her back. Callie knew from feeling Arizona earlier that she was wet so she wasted no time teasing her nor she have any intentions of drawing things out. Slow and sensual would come later. She slid her hand between Arizona's legs cupping her intimately. She slid two fingers through the wetness up one side, and down the next.

"Ohh Callie," Arizona moaned in desperation.

"Calliope," Callie simply corrected.

"Calliope," Arizona said smiling down at Callie. Callie wasted little time pushing two fingers knuckles deep into Arizona.

"Oooh Calliope," Arizona gasped at the sensation of being completely filled by Callie. Callie stroked in and out of Arizona at a moderate pace. Arizona used her legs as leverage to counter Callie's thrusts with her own. She clung tightly to Callie's shoulders for balance. Callie watched Arizona as she brought herself closer and closer. Sweat had pooled above Arizona's upper lip, her eyes were closed and her brows were knitted together tightly in concentration. Arizona flung her arms around Callie's neck resting her head on Callie's shoulder just using her legs for momentum. This brought Callie's mouth level with Arizona's ear. Callie began whispering naughty little things into Arizona's ear in Spanish.

"He querido que durante tanto tiempo," she whispered in a sultry voice, "Tengo tantra suerta, tengo tantra suerta," she repeated over and overwhelmed.

"You feel so good inside of me. Everything about you feels so good, Calliope," Arizona said hotly against Callie's lips hearing Callie talk to her in Spanish heightened her pleasure, "I'm going to come...so...hard Callie. Oh god." Arizona cried out as Callie skillfully manipulated her fingers bringing Arizona to her orgasm. Arizona threw her head back crying out wildly as her orgasm crashed haphazardly throughout her body coursing through her like molten lava. She trembled all over as her orgasm spread through her body in a ripple effect until she felt it from her fingers to her toes. Unable to remain upright, Arizona fell backwards onto the bed. Callie unwrapped Arizona's legs from around her waist, sitting up. She grabbed a pillow putting it under Arizona's ass and dove in before Arizona even knew what hit her, Callie's talented tongue was buried deep inside her creating more carnal sensations. She used her skilled tongue to fuck Arizona much the same way she used her fingers. She soon had Arizona grinding roughly against her mouth. She slid her mouth upwards honing in on Arizona's vulnerable nub. She covered it with her mouth alternating between sucking it lightly to stroking it with the tip of her tongue. She was basically French kissing Arizona's clit. Arizona wrapped her hands in Callie's long tresses as another tremendous orgasm thundered through her like a stampede of wild horses. Arizona arched her back off the bed as pleasure streamed throughout her body. She fell back to the bed in a puddle. Callie nipped at Arizona's sensitive bud causing a spastic jerk of her hips. Satisfied for the time being that Arizona was satisfied, she slid her body up next to Arizona's. Arizona rolled on her side kissing Callie still with the taste of herself on her tongue.

"Mmm," she moaned languidly, "That is so freaking hot Arizona." Arizona pulled back relishing being able to touch Callie, be physically close to her. Sensing a shift in Arizona's mood, Callie questioned her on it.

"I just never actually thought I'd ever be with you like this," she said choking up, "And now that I have, it is way better than I ever could've hoped for."

"So these are happy tears?" Callie asked wiping them away gently with the pad of her thumbs.

"Yes, Calliope, yes," She giggled, "Happy, happy, HAPPY tears." Arizona reached around Callie's back to unfasten her bra. Callie rolled over onto her stomach lifting herself up long enough to fling it off. She grabbed a pillow to support her head looking at Arizona feeling content. Arizona remained on her side trailing her fingers lightly over the expanse of Callie's back down to the hollow of her knees. Arizona paid attention to what areas made Callie giggle and which made her gasp. She moved to straddle Callie's legs continuing her manual exploration. Arizona used her hands to massage and knead stress spots she found in Callie's neck and shoulders. She also worked out knots in Callie's hips and did her ass just for fun. Arizona's thumbs grazed Callie's inner thighs causing Callie to inhale sharply.

"What are you doing Arizona?" she sighed pleasurably.

"I don't know Callie," Arizona answered coyly, "What am I doing?"

"You're make me wet again," Callie told her knowingly as her hips began to dance of their own accord. Arizona straddled one of Callie's legs and pressed her upper body against Callie's back. Callie could feel Arizona's pin point nipples against her back.

"Spread your legs so I can see for myself," Arizona said in a sultry voice. Callie spread her legs inviting Arizona in. Arizona dipped her fingers in Callie's wetness before entering her smoothly with two fingers. Callie's pleasure was muffled by the pillow she was biting to keep from crying out loud. Arizona worked her fingers in and out steadily. She drove Callie into a frenzy by slowly taking her fingers out and them pushing them back in hard. It wasn't long before Callie was begging Arizona to let her come.

"Turn over," Arizona instructed Callie. She lifted herself off Callie allowing enough room for Callie to turn around. As soon as she was on her back, Callie grabbed Arizona by the neck pulling her in for a lips crushing, tongue gnashing kiss. She tried grinding against Arizona to get the friction her body so desperately wanted because she was so close to climaxing but Arizona held herself just out of reach. Callie tried to put Arizona's hands back where she needed it but Arizona resisted.

"Arizona, please, I really, really want to come," she said using her own hand to stoke the bush fire between her legs.

"And I really, really want to make you come but I've been dying to know how you taste," Arizona responded hotly against her ear making Callie shiver in anticipation.

"Shut up and do it then!" Callie said impatiently.

"Yes ma'am," Arizona grinned wickedly at Callie before descending south towards Callie's aching center. Arizona wasted no time sinking her tongue in so deep her nose rubbed against Callie's clit. She moved her tongue from side to side creating frictions against the engorged bundle of nerves. She replaced her tongue sliding two fingers in while her mouth focused solely on working her clit. She circled it with her tongue alternating directions going clock wise one way then counter clock wise in another swipe of her tongue. She pumped her fingers in and out of Callie as much as she could. Callie bucked her hips against Arizona's talented tongue and fantastic fingers. Arizona felt Callie's walls clenching against her fingers. She could tell how close Callie was because her hips moved so erratically. Arizona briefly feared getting whiplash but held fast increasing the pressure and pace until Callie cried out her name as she came. Arizona felt the gush of moisture escape Callie as she orgasmed. She waited until Callie's inner walls stopped contracting so strongly before delicately extricating her fingers. Arizona lapped up any lingering wetness with her tongue like a cat lapping at a bowl of cream. Eager, and thirsty. She planted tender kisses up her thighs, over her belly, between the divide of her breasts up to her lips. She dropped down beside a very satiated Callie.

"Wow," Callie said once she caught her breath.

"That's the best thing I've had in my mouth in a long time," Arizona said referencing the conversation she had with Callie at Bones.

"Better than the crispy fried polenta?" Callie laughed remembering Arizona's extreme enthusiasm at the meal.

"Much, much better," Arizona told her. Callie laughed almost feeling like she was on some sort of drug. They talked and touched softly as the evening wore on. Time seemed to stand still but fatigue caught Callie first as her eyelids drooped lower and lower as she fought to stay awake.

"Will you stay?" Arizona tried asking casually not wanting to give away how much she wanted Callie to stay the night.

"Can I Arizona?" she asked sleepily.

"Yes," Arizona said pulling up the disheveled comforter up around them. Callie rolled into Arizona fitting herself snugly into Arizona's side with her head on Arizona's shoulder, and her arm draped possessively over her waist. Arizona smoothed her hands up and down Callie's back until Callie fell into a deep sleep. Arizona reveled in the moment recounting the events that led them to this moment. Before she knew it, Arizona was asleep too. Arizona woke up some time later unaccustomed to going to bed so early in the evening. Her stomach complained grumpily from hunger. She slipped stealthily out of bed like a ninja silently padding her way to the dresser where she slipped on boxers and a tank top. She grabbed her phone from the counter intent on making an important phone call.

Callie awoke finding herself all alone in bed. Locating her errant panties and shirt, she put them on and went in search of Arizona. She padded silently in her bare feet out of the room into the kitchen where she saw Arizona standing by a window apparently on the phone. Arizona snapped her phone shut ending her call. Turning around, she was startled to see Callie standing in the door way.

"Jeez," Arizona cried placing her hand over her startled heart, "You scared me."

"I woke up, you were gone, and then I got thirsty, can I have a drink?" Callie shuffled nervously.

"Considering you had your head buried between my legs only hours ago, and since you did such an amazing job, I think the least you've earned is a drink," she bantered, "Help yourself to anything you find in my fridge, but I'm afraid there's not much of a selection."

"Well I didn't want to presume anything, so I asked," Callie said nonchalantly. Arizona walked up behind Callie as she was regarding the bare contents of Arizona's refrigerator. Wrapping her arms around her waist, Arizona whispered against Callie's ear.

"It is okay to presume. I want you to presume, and I want you to feel comfortable here," Arizona said. Callie grabbed a bottle of water hidden behind some outdated milk before turning around to kiss Arizona soundly on the lips making a loud smacking sound.

"Thank you , and I do feel comfortable here with you," Callie said assuredly.

"I am so glad," Arizona said beaming with joy, "I didn't eat dinner and I am starving!"

"Omigod me too," Callie admitted, "I was going to offer to make you something but there's not much you can do with a stick of butter, some cottage cheese, and lemon juice."

"Hey, I warned you!" she said in mock defensiveness.

"Seriously what do you eat?" Callie asked astounded.

"I'm usually not here to eat," Arizona explained.

"Hot dates?" Callie asked fishing a little bit.

"Yeah, what can I say? I'm hot and I've got women lining up for me," Arizona said arrogantly.

"You better not!" Callie growled possessively. Arizona laughed at Callie's possessive streak internally thrilled that Callie might like her enough to be jealous, "I'm only interested in one fiery, tempered, hot, passionate, Latina."

"I am hot aren't I? Callie commented smugly.

"Oh no, no you thought I meant you?" Arizona replied awkwardly, "Oh no I was talking about Eva Mendez." Arizona finished her joke with complete seriousness. Callie turned to glare at Arizona with a hand on her voluptuous hip. Arizona managed to hold it together for a minute before she burst into hysterical laughter.

"Ha, ha, ha," Callie laughed sarcastically.

"Seriously though," Arizona said approaching Callie making her walk backwards until she was backed up against the dining room table, "You are so damn hot that if I could could live off you, I'd have you on this table, flat on your back with my head in between your legs but since I can't," Arizona took her finger running it down the side of Callie's neck over the swell of a breast down to her stomach causing Callie's body to hum in anticipation as Arizona continued talking, "The diner down the street will have to do." Arizona stepped back to admire her handy work satisfied that she had sufficiently made her point.

"Mean, Arizona," Callie said finding her voice.

"I know I can be a baaddd girl," she said searching through a drawer of take out menus with her back to Callie, "You can always spank me later." Callie moved quietly until she was behind Arizona. She landed a hearty smack on Arizona's ass.

"I'll keep that in mind," Callie said to Arizona whose mouth was agape due to shock, "Did you find that menu? I am starved." Callie placed their order over the phone while Arizona tried to create a romantic atmosphere in the apartment. She lit candles all over the apartment, she turned on the gas fireplace, and put the CD player on low. Once the food arrived, they sat on the floor using the coffee table as their dinner table. They ate chit chatting amiably occasionally stealing kisses until they succumbed to the gluttony of good food, good wine, and excellent company. Halfway through the meal, Arizona got unusually quiet. Callie noticed that something seemed to be on Arizona's mind, and she was filled with insecurities that Arizona might regret what occurred between them.

"Is something wrong?" she asked directly deciding to bite the bullet.

"What? No. What makes you ask?" Arizona said taking a bite of her food.

"You haven't really listening to what I've been saying to you for the past five minutes, and you haven't said more than one syllable words in the last ten minutes," Callie said rapidly, "Are you having second thoughts. I know things are moving fast but..."

"Callie," Arizona attempted to interrupt her rant but it didn't work.

"Callie," she said more loudly successfully getting Callie's attention, "I called in to work taking a personal day tomorrow, and I was hoping that we could spend the day together."

"Oh," Callie said relieved, "You mean like a date?"

"Exactly like a date," Arizona clarified wanting to make certain Callie was aware of her intentions.

"Well in that case, yes I'd love to go on a date with you," Callie told her smiling so hard it made her cheeks hurt. Eventually weariness set in, and Arizona suggested bed. She found Callie something suitable to sleep in. Callie followed Arizona in the bathroom to finish getting ready for bed. Arizona opened a drawer filled with unused tooth brushes.

"How often do you have sleep overs Arizona?" Callie questioned the number of tooth brushes Arizona had. She couldn't stop the hint of jealousy and the question came out a little more harshly than she intended.

"What?" Arizona asked confused until she spotted what Callie was looking at, "Oh it is not like that. My mother works for a dentist and she keeps me stocked up with tooth brushes, and dental floss."

"Mm hmm," Callie murmured skeptically.

"Honestly Callie I can't remember the last time I wanted a woman to stay the night," Arizona commented perusing through her past indiscretions, "Hell the women were lucky if I remembered their name, and it was a really good night for them if I called them a cab. Most of the time, once the deed was over, I couldn't wait to get her out of the door." Callie took the information in uncertain what do do with it. Sensing Callie's scrutiny, Arizona felt compelled to explain.

"It's not something I am proud of," she explained, "But I can't change my past."

"You don't have to explain," Callie replied quickly.

"I know but I wanted to, okay?" Arizona asked.

"Okay," Callie agreed. They put that discussion and themselves to bed. They went to sleep in each other's arms. Throughout the night, the woman would separate inadvertently but somehow Callie was the one that always found her way back to Arizona. Arizona woke up the next morning with Callie's face buried in the crook of her neck, and she was pinned to the bed by Callie's arm which was thrown over her stomach, and her leg which was wrapped around one of Arizona's. Arizona didn't mind. In fact, she thought it was cute. She waited patiently for Callie to wake up. She watched the movement increase underneath Callie's closed eyelids which indicated Callie was waking up. She opened her sleepy eyes to find Arizona watching her with a wistful look on her face.

"Good morning," she said in a voice hoarse from sleep. Arizona didn't respond right away. She just kept looking at Callie with an amused expression.

"What?" Callie asked expectantly.

"Nothing..." Arizona hesitated looking for the right words, "It's just..." Callie waited for Arizona to finish but got impatient.

"What Arizona?" she said beginning to feel uncertain.

"It is just that I never would've thought that such a big, bad professional dominatrix like yourself would be such a snuggler," Arizona told her clearly teasing.

"I do not snuggle," Callie protested. Arizona looked at her intently then drew Callie's gaze to the position they were in. Callie went to move but Arizona stopped her from altering their positions.

"I never said I didn't like it," she told Callie before kissing her leisurely, "Good morning,"

"It is now," Callie said smiling against Arizona's lips.

"Are you ready for our date?" Arizona asked enthusiastically.

"I can't wait to go on a date with you," Callie said kissing her back relaying with her actions how much she was actually looking forward to spending time with Arizona. Both women co-existed in a beautiful haze of a new relationship. But try as they might, both women had niggling doubts that threated to creep in and ruin any chance of happiness the woman may have together. Arizona shoved her doubts back more determined than ever to make this the best date Callie has ever been on. She had been thinking about it for awhile, and was eager to get her plans rolling.

"_It's going to be a good day," _Arizona thought happily to herself, "_A good, good day ooohhh."_


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: Would You Like To Swing On A Star**

AN: To all the wonderful people that read my story and took a minute to review. Thank you so much. I put a lot of thought into the date, so let me know what you think. Shaz, I threw something in for you!

It was later than either woman realized when they got out of bed. The normally perky blond was even more so today because she was super excited about the date she had planned with the stunning brunette. Arizona offered to take Callie out to breakfast to unofficially kick off their first date. They ate at a little greasy spoon midway between Arizona's apartment and Callie's town house.

"Don't I even get a hint as to where you'll be taking me?" the Latina asked attempted to get her way with a pout. The pucker of Callie's full lips was not enough to deter the determined blond from her secret agenda.

"Nope Calliope," Arizona responded.

"How will I even know what to wear then?"

"Good point," the blue eyed blond conceded reasonably, "You'll need to dress comfortably, shoes too, and you might want to bring a jacket."

"That tells me a whole lot of nothing," Callie said clearly frustrated.

"I know it doesn't," her breakfast companion replied, "That's why I was able to tell you."

"Hmph," the brunette muttered crossing her arms over her chest.

"Callie, please don't worry," Arizona reassured, "Let me surprise you."

"Okay, okay no more questions," she conceded, "I'll just have to trust you." Arizona and Callie finished their breakfast. Once the bill was settled, Arizona drove Callie to her house so she could prepare for their date. Arizona really didn't want to spend any of the day away from her new lover but this date required a lot of plans to be put into action.

Once they arrived at the townhouse, Arizona insisted on walking Callie to the door.

"How did you manage to get both town houses next to one another?" Arizona remembered a errant question she wondered about awhile ago.

"Oh it wasn't a big deal really, " Callie casually answered, "I own the whole block." Arizona stopped dead in her tracks at the bottom of the stairs leading to the front door. Callie expected to find Arizona right behind her. Instead, she turned around to see Arizona at the bottom of the steps with her mouth agape, and her blue eyes completely bugged out.

"Are you rich or something?" the question slipped out of her mouth before her brain could recover its decorum.

"Or something,"she said under her breath, "Actually my father is the rich one. He owns T-N-T software and distributing but I have a trust fund that keeps me quite comfortable." Arizona blinked rapidly as her brain digested the information.

"Is that going to be a problem," Callie asked alarmed that Arizona would fall prey to the insecurities that plagued a lot of people when they dated someone more secure than them.

"Not at all. So my hot, sexy woman is also rich. What's not to like about that?" the shocked woman recovered quickly mounting the stairs towards Callie.

"Your woman?" Callie asked with attitude.

"My woman?" Arizona corrected her earlier statement forming it as a question. She watched Callie toss the idea around in her head.

"I'm your woman, Arizona," the fiery Latina told her, "I actually like it, and just so we are clear, that makes you my woman as well."

"I like the sound of that," Arizona said grasping the lapels of Callie's jacket sealing the deal with a soft lingering kiss filled with unspoken promises of the date to come. The kiss started getting more heated but Arizona had to pull away or she'd never let the other woman go long enough to get ready.

"Be ready by 3pm," she told her hot and bothered girlfriend.

"Okay," Callie answered, "I'll be ready. And Arizona, I can hardly wait." Arizona stole one more kiss from the Latina's luscious lips before leaving.

The blond walked to her car in such a haze of new romance that she didn't notice Cristina leaning against her car with her arms closed tightly over her chest. She was actually glad to run into Cristina. She needed her help with the plans for the date. While Arizona was happy, Cristina seemed grumpy.

"Hey,"she said cautiously approaching her car. Cristina just stared unrelenting. Never one to back down from a challenge, Arizona looked right back. Cristina raised an eyebrow realizing her opponent wouldn't back down. Arizona copied the gesture raising one of her own.

"So this is the part where I threaten you with bodily harm if you hurt my friend, you swear on your great grandmother's blah, blah, blah and all that crap," the Asian said ending their stalemate.

"Agreed," her blond opponent stated, "Now that's out of the way, I need your help."

** "**Kinky threesomes are out of the question."

"Okay, noted,"Arizona replied awkwardly, "This is what I need you to do." She explained her plan to Cristina soliciting her for a minor role in that plan.

"I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth," the Asian woman commented sarcastically, "But yeah, I can do that."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Arizona shouted gleefully extending her arms out to hug her accomplice.

"Whoa," Cristina said putting her arms up to block the gesture, "I don't know you well enough to do hugs."

"Okay," Arizona replied undeterred from her enthusiasm, "I'll be back a little later." Cristina walked off with a flick of her hand dismissing Arizona.

Arizona ran all of the errands she needed in order to be prepared for her date. She called in a favor or two from some friends of hers as well. All that she had to do now was prepare herself for the date, and wait. Callie was at home watching the clock as well. Time seemed to stand still frustrating the hell of out of her. In order to deal with her impatience, Callie found menial tasks to occupy her time like going over her stock portfolio, checking and responding to emails. It did the trick because before she knew it, someone was ringing her door bell. She opened her front door to find a woman with a massage table. She explained her purpose to the confused but happy brunette. Callie let the woman in instructing her where to set up her work station.

"Before I forget," the masseuse said, "I'm supposed to give you this." She held out a cluster of about eight light pink bell shaped flowers. They were held together by a pink ribbon with a note attached. She flipped the tag over reading Arizona's unusually neat script. The tag read:

**A bellflower means I am thinking of you. And I am. Hope you enjoy your massage.**

**-Arizona**

Callie brought the bouquet of bellflower's to her nose enjoying the semi-sweet aroma. She got a vase from the kitchen to put them in.

"_How sweet of her,_" she thought smiling happily to herself as she disrobed for her massage. For the next hour, the masseuse pampered Callie's fine body with a relaxing massage. By the time the masseuse was done, her client was as limp as a wet noodle. The masseuse made to leave, but Callie stopped her trying to tip her.

"The tip was already included," she told Callie, "But thank you anyway."

"_Wow this date has already been better than the last ten dates I went on put together!_" Callie thought internally. She still had two hours left to kill before Arizona arrived to pick her up. She decided to keep in the theme of relaxation drawing her a warm bath. Once she was thoroughly groomed, Callie had the daunting task of figuring out what to wear. She tried on multiple outfits flinging aside the outcasts until her floor was littered with carcasses of discarded clothing. She finally settled on an emerald green tunic styled shirt cinched at the waist with a black belt to enhance her womanly curves followed by a charcoal gray pair of jeggings. The outfit was completed by black mid-calf riding boots that had a flat, comfy heel. She critically appraised herself in the mirror.

"_Boobs check, hips check, butt check, legs check,"_ she mentally assessed herself finally pleased with her appearance. She realized she was running short on time still needing to fix her hair and make up.

"Shit," she cursed as she stumbled over a pile of clothing on the way to her bathroom. She had 45 minutes to decide how to wear her hair. She left her hair loose and long. Make up was applied muted giving her a natural look. She was putting on the finishing touches when the door bell rang. She tore herself away from her mirror as nerves suddenly sank in. She questioned everything but as she made her way to the door, her nerves were usurped by excitement. She swung the door open with an eager smiling expecting to see her date. Instead, she was greeted by a formally dressed chauffeur.

"Afternoon ma'am, " the chauffeur greeted her tipping his hat, "I'm here to take you to your destination."

"And where will you be taking me exactly," Callie slyly probed the man.

"Arizona told me you might try that and she told me to tell you 'Good things come to those who wait."

"Did she now?" Callie asked narrowing her eyes suspiciously trying to intimidate the man.

"Hey now," the chauffeur said raising his hands in surrender, "I am just the messenger ma'am." Callie wrinkled her nose disdainfully at the man instead of responding.

"Shall we go?" he asked holding his hand out to indicate their ride. Callie made her way to a black limo parked the curb in front of her house. The driver opened the door for Callie only closing it when she was securely inside. Callie was getting settled in when she noticed another flower lying on the seat next to her. This one was a red daisy with a yellow center. There was another tag attached with a ribbon. It read:

**A red daisy means you are beautiful. You probably agonized over what to wear, I know I did but I just wanted you to know that I would think you are beautiful even if you were wearing a burlap sack.**

**-Arizona**

Callie's heart swelled at the message. Somehow Arizona knew the exact thing to say to chip away the defenses Callie built up over the years to protect her heart after so many failed dates, and a few failed relationships.

Approximately 45 minutes later, the limo pulled into the circular drive way of a large estate. Once the car stopped, the door opened. She was greeted by a pleasant looking older woman.

"Welcome to Chateau Saint Michelle, one of the oldest vineyards in Washington," the elderly lady greeted her, "My name is Alex, and I will be your tour guide this evening.

"Nice to meet you Alex," Callie said looking around for her missing date.

"Arizona is finishing up last minute details," Alex said reading Callie's mind. She handed Callie a third flower of the day. This one was a read carnation and the tag read:

**The red carnation means my heart aches for you. I can't wait to see you again.**

**-Arizona**

Callie brought the fragrant bloom to her nose partly to hide the pleasing flush that spread across her face. If Alex noticed, she was kind enough not to draw attention to it. She just beckoned Callie to follow her as she taught Callie the history of the chateau. It was actually more like a French styled country estate house than a castle. They were walking down a hill towards the gift shop when Callie spotted Arizona waiting for her at the bottom of the hill. Callie couldn't explain what happened next but it felt as if someone kicked her in the gut with a steel toed boot making her expel all the air in her lungs in a loud gush. Before her defenses could capture the enemy thought, it escaped.

_ "I could fall in love with her." _Just as quick as it found freedom, the thought was immediately recaptured returning behind the wall of defenses built around Callie's heart. Arizona was pacing nervously mentally going over every detail of her plan to quell her nerves. She looked up to see Callie approaching her and she couldn't stop the huge grin from breaking out. Seeing Arizona smiling so brightly made Callie smile just a brightly, so Alex had to grinning idiots on her hands. Arizona stood in front of her stunning date suddenly shy and at a loss for words.

"Hey Callie," she said clearing her throat nervously, "You look really pretty." Callie kissed Arizona on the cheek before responding, "Thank you, so do you." Arizona sported a dark blue form fitted long sleeved shirt that remained untucked and the sleeves rolled up almost to her elbows. Over the shirt, she wore an ash gray vest with skinny blue jeans. On her feet, she had on her favorite pair of brown Justin cowboy boots.

"Thank you for my flowers," Callie finally tore her gaze away from admiring her date's choice of attire. Arizona took Callie's free hand in hers, "You're welcome. Should we go?" Alex took her cue beginning the tour of the winery. The two women got to learn about the wine making progress from start to finish sampling different wines as they progressed. The flush of each wine tasted began to effect the blond doctor in a most unexpected manner. She became fixated on Callie's mouth as she drank the wine. She watched as Callie placed her supple lips against the glass parting her mouth slightly to allow the liquid access her tongue. Arizona found herself wishing she was the wine or even just the glass so she could get her fill of those lips. She watched enraptured as Callie's pink tongue surreptitiously darted out to wipe clean any lingering drops of wine off her lips. It was almost as if Callie was tormenting her on purpose. Alex strode off ahead of them throwing details out left and right clearly in her tour guide mode. Figuring they wouldn't be missed for a few minutes, Arizona jerked her date's arm pulling her behind one of the huge casks of wine.

"Arizona what..." Before Callie could even finish her sentence, Arizona's lips came crashing into hers as she was pushed flush against the cask. The kiss was wild as Arizona frantically tried to get her own intoxicating sample of those lips. It took a second for the stunned brunette to respond but when she did, she gave as good as she got until they were interrupted by the voice of their tour guide calling out to them.

"If you two love birds are done making out, may we resume the tour," the voice echoed loudly through the spacious room. The guilty women reluctantly pulled apart.

"Coming," Callie called out once she was able to breath again.

"Not yet," Arizona replied grumpily.

"Behave," Callie said sternly.

"You behave," Arizona countered, "And quit being so damn sexy when you drink your wine."

"So you did notice," she said smugly walking off towards Alex.

"Y-y-y-you did that on purpose," she accused catching up.

"Well not initially," she responded, "But it was kinda hard not to notice you staring at me."

"Can you really blame me?" Arizona wondered aloud, "Have you seen yourself lately. You are stunning Calliope." The tone of her voice was incredulous because of Callie's seeming ignorance as to how her beauty affected the world. She stopped turning to Arizona.

"I don't know about all of that," as a blush spread across her face and neck, "But what I do know is that you make me feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet." Grabbing her date's hand, Callie lead them in the direction Alex was headed. The tour ended in a fabulous flower garden over looking the valley of grapes. In the middle of the garden was a little clearing with a pergola. It was adorned with a multitude of Chinese lanterns casting a warm glow over a table covered with a white cloth set for two. Arizona held the chair out for Callie. When she sat down, she noticed another flower set delicately on her plate. It was a white rose.

**White roses signifies new beginnings. I am really looking forward to all the new **

**beginnings I'll get to share with you.**

**-Arizona**

Crumble. There went some more of Callie's defenses being stripped away. Tears sprung to life, causing her to look away.

"What is it?" the astute doctor asked out of concern. Finding her voice, even though it was tremulous, she answered, "It's overwhelming."

"Did I do something wrong?" Arizona questioned. Callie jerked her head quickly to look at Arizona who had worry carved into her face.

"Arizona," she said seriously, "You have done everything right." Relief replaced concern on Arizona's face. She didn't get the chance to respond however, because they were interrupted by their chef bringing an amuse bouche. Arizona stood up to greet the chef with a quick peck on the cheek.

"This is my friend Sam. She is a personal chef and ours for the night. Sam, this is my date, Callie." Arizona introduced the other two women to one another.

"Nice to meet you," Sam replied congenially, "Take good care of Arizona. She's quite the catch." Sam's comment made Arizona shuffle uncomfortably in her seat but Sam didn't seem to notice going about her task of describing the ingredients that put together made the amuse bouche. After she was done, Sam excused herself back to the kitchen.

"Mmm good," Arizona said after popping the morsel into her mouth.

"You two have history," Callie commented knowingly.

"Yes we dated a long time ago. It didn't work out. I know, I know it is a major lesbian cliché but we were able to stay friends after the break up."

"She's seen you naked?" Callie asked eyeing her steak knife as thoughts of murder streaked through her jealous mind.

"Should I take away any potential weapons before I answer your question?" Arizona answered lightly. Callie still wore a look that could kill so Arizona added, "Yes she's seen me naked a very long time ago. You didn't think I was a virgin until last night did you?"

"Of course I didn't think you were a virgin," the jealous Latina retorted, "Especially not with some of those skills you're sporting."

"It's so cute that you are jealous," the blond said feeling flattered, "But you really have nothing to worry about at all. When I am with a woman, I am loyal to that woman. I've never cheated, and I never will. It's just not who I am."

"I'm sorry," Callie apologized, "I don't know where this jealousy is coming from. It's never been part of who I am but you seem to bring out things in me that I never knew existed.

"It is all still so new Calliope," Arizona assuaged, "I'll prove myself to you in time."

"God Arizona, you already have," she said softly stroking her thumb over the top of Arizona's hand while gazing tenderly into Arizona's eyes. Her dates eyes mirrored that same tenderness until they were interrupted once again by Sam bringing the a salad of walnuts, and strawberries on a bed of field greens tossed together with a balsamic vinaigrette finished off with a spattering of bleu cheese.

"Wow this is my favorite salad!" Callie exclaimed happily.

"Really, huh," her date shrugged it off as a coincidence. Callie attacked her salad with gusto moaning in pleasure as the complex tastes assaulted her taste buds.

"That good?" Arizona chuckled. Callie just smiled raising her eyebrows in answer. Both women made quick work of the scrumptious salad. Sam came to clear their empty plates before bringing their main course.

"Eggplant rollatini?" Callie questioned in awe.

"Yes Callie," Sam answered, "That's exactly what this is with a side of pasta alfredo made from all fresh ingredients with seasonal vegetables lightly salted.

"Looks delicious," the blond chimed in, "Thanks Sam."

"My pleasure," Sam returned, "Bon appetit."

Arizona was about to delve into her meal but stopped short catching Callie scrutinizing her through narrowed eyes.

"What?" she answered guiltily although she was uncertain as to the crime.

"My favorite salad I can pass off as a coincidence but my favorite meal too? This is my death row meal," Callie informed her dinner companion.

"Death row meal?" the peds surgeon questioned not following.

"Yes the meal I'd want to have as my last if I was on death row," Callie explained.

"Oh yeah death row meal," Arizona commented dryly as if that explained everything.

"How did you know?" Callie wondered.

"I had an accomplice," she admitted.

"Cristina?" Callie asked thinking of who Arizona may have come in contact with that knew her well enough to know her favorite meal.

"I bumped into her earlier outside of Velvet," Arizona explained, "There were the obligatory threats of bodily harm, swearing on my first born son's manhood, then she agreed to help me."

"You're amazing," Callie said incredulously, "No one has ever put so much thought into planning a date with me before."

"That's such a shame Calliope," Arizona commented with a touch of sadness, "This is nothing compared to what you deserve." More crumbling as her walls took another direct hit.  
>"This is really good. I can see why you would want it as your last meal," Arizona said chewing the food.<p>

"I know, right," the Latina agreed between bites of her food grateful to have the subject changed before she spilled her guts to the amazing woman seated across from her.

_"That amazing woman is my girlfriend,"_ Callie thought astonished.

"Callie?" her girlfriend said her name as a question.

"_Uh oh_," Callie's mind screamed recognizing the tone in Arizona's voice.

"Yeah?" she said putting her defenses on alert.

"Not that I mind in the least but I was sort of wondering..." she trailed off.

"You want to know why I changed my mind?" Callie replied finishing Arizona's unanswered question.

"Well it'd been what six or seven weeks since we saw each other last, and you made it abundantly clear your feelings regarding getting involved with a client. Not that I didn't wish or hope things would be different."

"Eight," Callie corrected.

"Eight?" her date responded confused.

"It had been eight weeks since we saw each other last," she clarified for Arizona, "And in those eight weeks, I thought about you nearly every single day."

"Ohh," the blond spit out clearly shocked by what she was hearing.

"I wondered what you were doing, how work was going, if you were hurting, what it would be like to be with you," she exhaled shakily before resuming, "And doing what I thought was the right thing was exhausting and not to mention painful."

"I'm sorry you went through that," her girlfriend sympathized.

"What for? You haven't done anything wrong!" Callie replied adamantly, "We're both adults and know what we are getting into and so far, I am more than glad that I changed my mind."

"Really? No regrets," her companion asked taking another bite of her meal.

"No. Well, maybe just one," Callie replied.

"What is it?"

"I regret that it took me so long to figure everything out," the brunette said with remorse.

"Better late than never," Arizona reminded her date. Callie looked at Arizona as the setting sun and the light from the lanterns cast an ethereal glow over Arizona's angelic face.

"What are you thinking?" Arizona asked feeling a bit unnerved by the way Callie was looking at her. Callie bent her head in towards Arizona so no one would overhear if they happened upon them in the garden.

"I'm thinking that what I want more than anything else is to be completely alone with you right now."

"Oh," Arizona replied automatically, "Ooohhh," she repeated again catching onto to the subtext in Callie's statement. A blush spread hotly across her cheek as her mind took her down memory lane back to when they were alone in her apartment and all the naughty things Callie did to her body. Callie continued to look lustfully while both their minds savored the memories until they were once again interrupted by Sam bringing the fourth course of their meal.

"A chocolate mint sorbet to cleanse the palate and freshen your breath," she educated her diners sending a knowing wink in Callie's direction. Callie laughed at Sam's audacity deciding right then and there that Sam was good people.

"Sam," she said, "Everything was absolutely delicious."

"Thank you madame," she replied in an over the top French accent, "It was my pleasure."

"No it was mine," Callie continued the platitudes, "Thank you."

"Yeah Sam," Arizona piped up, "It was so good. I can't thank you enough."

"I'd do anything to help you win over a date. You deserve to be happy." She turned to Callie repeating the last statement, "She deserves to be happy."

"Oh I couldn't agree more Sam," she told the chef.

" Good. It was nice to meet you then," Sam told her.

"You too," Callie responded honestly.

"Night Sam," Arizona said rising from her seat to embrace her friend good bye.

"Think you'll get laid tonight?" Sam whispered conspiratorially in her ear.

"GOOD night Samantha," Arizona told her friend effectively sending her back into the kitchen. Arizona looked at her watch to see what time it was.

"Wow, we need to hurry if we're going to make it to the next part of the date."

"There's more?" Callie asked barely able to contain her excitement.

"Yeah there is, so eat up!" They stuffed the sorbet hurriedly into their mouth causing one of the women to experience the unpleasantness of brain freeze.

"Ow my head," Callie complained.

"No time for complaints either, let's go!" Arizona ordered her date.

"Yes drill sergeant Robbins!" the chilled woman teased. Arizona led them out the vineyards to a large pick up truck. She opened the door for Callie lending her a hand into the truck. Callie's eyes immediately rested on a lavender rose laying across her seat. This tag read:

**This rare lavender rose comes with the meaning of enchantment at first sight. That's how long I have been under your spell.**

**-Arizona**

Arizona climbed into her truck. Before she could settle in, she was attacked with a needy, desperate kiss. Callie was trying to convey with actions what she couldn't express with her words. She tangled her hands in Arizona's golden locks as her tongue tangled with Arizona's. As quickly as she was ambushed, her assailant retreated.

"Probably no time for kissing either," Callie retorted with her tongue in cheek.

"There's always spare time enough for that!" the pediatric doctor commented cranking up the engine. They had a long ride to their next destination, and it was spent getting to know each other better. For example, Callie was pleasantly surprised to learn that the usually bubbly blond's taste in music tended to lean towards a darker side with Evanescence, Amy Winehouse, and old school Alanis Morrisette thrown into her CD collection. Arizona didn't realized what a beautiful voice Callie possessed until she heard her sing Nina Simone's version of "Ooh Child." Both women enjoyed belting out songs in the care both singing Sonny and Cher's rendition of "I Got You Babe" at the top of their lungs. Arizona pulled off the highway to the side of the road at an entrance marked private property. She hopped out of the truck to unfasten the gate driving through it and then stopping again to secure it. She reached over into her glove box pulling out a bandanna.

"Put this on please?" she requested.

"Kinky," Callie teased, "Not that I mind kink but why?"

"Because it is a surprise," Arizona told her date.

"Okay but only because your surprises have been rockin' so far," Callie agreed without too much fuss.

"Thank you baby," Arizona answered gratefully.

"Mmm this better be good," the skeptical brunette replied sardonically.

"It will be, just trust me," Arizona said driving through a forest until she reached a clearing used as a private camp site. The camp site was set over looking a lush, wild valley with a pristine blue lake.

"Stay here while I get things set up, okay?" Arizona advised, "And no peeking Calliope." Arizona got out of the truck opening her tool box retrieving the supplies for this part of the date. She used the starter wood to create a warm fire in the fire pit. She then unpacked a blow up mattress that had its own motor to inflate it. She let it inflate while she retrieved a cooler packed with an assortment of chocolate covered fruits complete with sparkling cider. Once the mattress was inflated, she threw a bunch of out door pillows on the bed, and used an old comforter to cover the mattress. Callie sat in the car totally unable to see anything. It seemed to her that her other senses heightened because she could swear she heard the hum of a motor, and smelled a fire burning somewhere.

_"What is she doing?"_ she wondered silently eager to see what Arizona had planned for them next. Callie jumped when Arizona opened her door.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," she apologized.

"Can I take this off now?" the blind folded woman asked reaching up to remove it.

"Not yet," she told Callie, "Take my hand and let me help you out of the truck" She took Callie's hand leading her carefully out of the truck walking her to the overlook. Standing behind Callie, she reached up to remove the blindfold, leaving her hands wrapped around Callie's midsection with her chin resting on her shoulder. Callie opened her eyes to the most beautiful sight she'd ever seen. There was a lush, fertile valley below next to a serene lake. The half moon cast a mystical glow over the scene transforming everything it touched into sparkling silver. Without a cloud in the sky, and being far away from the lights of the city, stars sparkled in the night's sky like diamonds.

"Wow," Callie said in a breathy whisper.

"Yeah," Arizona answered in amazement, "This is my most favorite place in the city."

"How did you find this place?"

"The land belongs to a friend of my father's. Our families would camp up here once a year. Sometimes I come up here to remember how to be still." Callie turned into the embrace facing her date.

"Thank you for sharing this place with me, it's beautiful," she slowly inched her face closer to Arizona's melding her lips to the other woman's in a kiss meant to stoke the burning fire increasing the temperatures of the already burning desire. Callie pulled away first leaving Arizona slightly dazed. She looked over the dazed blond's shoulder noticing everything Arizona did at the camp site.

"How romantic," she commented in a sultry voice. Taking Arizona by the hand, she lead them over to the mattress. Before laying down, Arizona ran to the car turning the radio on loud enough to be heard. Only then did she join Callie on the bed. Callie was laying on the mattress on her side with her head propped up on her arm.

"You didn't bring me all the way out here just to get me in bed," Callie said flirtatiously batting her eyes.

"You got me all figured out," Arizona answered plainly, "After last night, I don't even want to let you out of bed so I am going to bring one every where we go."

"Smart ass," the bone doctor commented.

"Actually, the show is about to start," Arizona told her sexy woman.

"Show?" Callie replied looking around the camp for any indication as to what Arizona could be referring to.

"You'll see soon enough," Arizona mentioned off handedly as she rummaged through the cooler pulling out the chocolate covered fruits.

"I brought dessert, would you like some?" Callie looked at what Arizona was offering her nodding her head affirmatively. Arizona plucked a ripe strawberry dangling it over Callie's mouth. Callie closed her mouth seductively over the fruit causing Arizona to gulp. They sipped their sparkling cider feeding each other fruit as the music played softly in the background while the fire popped and crackled its own tune.

"I've been meaning to tell you the head of Ortho is retiring," Arizona said biting into a ripe strawberry.

"That dinosaur is actually going to retire?" Callie responded wiping some juice off of Arizona's chin with her thumb.

"Well the chief seriously suggested retirement after another mishap in the OR."

"Hmm," Callie said distracted by her thoughts. Arizona could see the wheels turning in Callie's mind, which is just what she wanted to do when she brought it up.

"Ever think of going back," she asked casually sipping her cider.

"All the time, Arizona," Callie said staring off into the distance, "All the time." Arizona backed off the subject sensing she had pushed the damaged ortho surgeon enough for one night.

"Ooh it's starting!" she shouted excited.

"What started?" Callie asked.

"Look," Arizona pointed to the sky above the valley. Callie didn't see anything at first but she kept her eyes glued to the sky. Finally she saw what Arizona was talking about. Every few seconds or so, a falling star plummeted to earth light up as it burned through Earth's atmosphere. Callie gasped in awe at the spectacle. She laid down on the pillows with her hands under her head. Arizona did the same thing taking in the meteor shower. The woman were quiet as they observed. The silence was occasionally punctuated by enthusiastic ooh's, ahh's or "Did you see that." The shower ended about thirty minutes later. Both women remained side by side staring up into the night sky. Callie eventually rolled on her side to face Arizona.

"There's no way you could have orchestrated a meteor shower. No one is that good."

"That's not what you were saying last night, Calliope," Arizona said running her finger lightly down her neck.

"Okay you are that good but seriously a meteor shower?"

"No that part was a serendipitous event," she responded, "I though a lot about what I would do if you ever agreed to go out with me. It was all planned in my head, so the only thing I needed to do was put the pieces into place. I was always going to bring you here. The meteor shower was just a bonus!"

"First date and falling stars," Callie sighed nostalgically, "Did you make a wish?" Arizona looked up into Callie's questioning brown eyes.

"You," she answered with a simple whisper, "My wish was you." Callie's eyes softened looking back into Arizona's sincere blue one. Chunks of concrete, mortar, and stones broke off as her wall were decimated. At this point, Callie's heart was completely vulnerable and up for grabs. She was so overcome with feeling to respond with words even if she could articulate so she chose action again leaning over her date to kiss her. The kiss was soft. It was tender. It was full of passion. She tried to tell Arizona using the language of her lips how much she cared. Arizona noticed a difference in the way Callie was kissing her. She may not have cognitively understood the message but her lips recognized the language responding in kind. Callie let her heart take the lead for once until she was so overwhelmed that she had to pull away because she felt like she was drowning. Arizona opened her eyes seeing Callie struggling internally with tears in her sensitive brown eyes.

"It's okay," she whispered tenderly, "It's okay,it's okay." She planted soft kisses all over Callie's face as she repeated the words over and over. Callie regained her composure suddenly filled with yearning to possess her blond lover. She kissed Arizona with a fierceness and intensity she never knew existed. Her lover moaned hotly into the kiss causing Callie to growl in response. Arizona's hands wandered brazenly over Callie's body from beneath. She roamed over the expanse of Callie's back, cupped her breasts from the bottom squeezing them roughly as the make out session got hotter and hotter. She pulled Callie on top of her using her ass as leverage. She ground her hips shamelessly into Callie.

"I want you," she said in between kisses.

"I want you too," Callie said sliding her hand down to unfasten the snap of Arizona's jeans. Arizona turned to her side pushing Callie off of her so that Callie was face to face with her.

"Together," she offered in explanation nipping at the baby soft skin of Callie's neck. She slid her hand down to Callie's snap pulling them open with a pop. Callie moved further under Arizona's panties to cup her silky center with her hand. Arizona followed suit only to realize Callie wasn't wearing any panties.

"No panties?" she said sliding her fingers through Callie's abundant moistness.

"Didn't want panty lines," she told her lover.

"Mm so damn hot Callie," the blond replied spreading Callie's wetness with her two fingers. Callie was tending to Arizona in much of the same way. She wanted to extend the teasing foreplay a little longer but couldn't resist the temptation of penetrating Arizona deeply. Arizona cried out in pleasure at suddenly being filled.

"I love being inside of you," Callie said hotly against Arizona's mouth.

"How about this?" Arizona responded pushing her two fingers knuckle deep into Callie, "Do you love this?"

"What do you think?" the aroused Latina answered with a buck of her hips against Arizona's probing fingers.

"I think you love it when I'm deep in your pussy," Arizona told her sucking on Callie's bottom lip.

"Takes one to know one," Callie retaliated with some deep thrusts of her own.

"Never...said...I...didn't," Arizona informed her through clenched teeth and shaky pleasure filled breaths.

"You feel so good baby," Callie said her voice dropping an octave.

"God so do you," Arizona answered huskily before the air became too thick with passion for words. Moans of pleasure added to the symphony of the night. It wasn't long before Callie could feel her peak approaching. She couldn't control the actions of her hips and her clit burned white hot spreading throughout her body in an explosion as Arizona rocked her fingers steady and deeply. Callie's only verbal reaction was a sharp gasp for air as the fire consumed body. Arizona felt her lover's walls spasming against her fingers. The knowledge totally heightened her carnal sensations, and she bit down on Callie's shoulder to stifle her moans as her orgasm exploded from her clit outward until no part of her body was left untouched. She continued bucking her hips drawing out the last ounce of pleasure until she couldn't take it any longer. Callie realized her lover was a bit sensitive so she stilled her fingers preparing to remove them.

"Not yet," Arizona whispered as a plea. After awhile, she slipped her fingers out of Callie with care. Callie took that a her cue to do the same.

"That was wow," Arizona tried to formulate words, "I don't know have words."

"Then don't try," Callie replied pulling Arizona into her arms, "Let's just...be."

"Sounds good," Arizona agreed snuggling deeply into Callie's arms. Hearing her steady heart beat eventually lulled Arizona into a sex induced coma. Callie wanted to stay awake burning the events of the date into her mind but soon found herself in her own post amorous haze of sleep.

Callie awoke sometime later feeling drops of rain splashing on her face. She shook a very sleepy Arizona awake.

"I'm up, I'm up!" she mumbled grumpily making no effort to move.

"It's raining sweetie," she tried again. Arizona raised her head surveying her surroundings temporarily disoriented.

"Callie?" she asked dazed, "Oh I'm up for real this time." she rolled without grace off the mattress face planting in the grass.

"Should I leave the two of you alone?" Callie joked watching Arizona struggle to stand up.

"Funny," she muttered finding her feet. She buttoned her jeans back up before grabbing stuff off the mattress tossing it into the truck bed. She pulled the plug on the mattress to deflate while she stamped out the remains of the fire. She turned back to see Callie had put away everything else. She climbed into the truck expressing her gratitude.

"You're welcome."

It was really late when the women returned to Callie's house. Arizona insisted on seeing her lady to the door safely. Both women walked as if they had lead feet because neither one wanted the night to end. Standing at the door, Callie faced Arizona.

"I never want this night to end," she said throwing her arms around Arizona's shoulders bringing her in close.

"Me either," Arizona admitted truthfully.

"I had a wonderful time tonight," she told Arizona, "Thank you."

"I am glad and you are welcome," Arizona responded placing a lingering kiss on her lips.

"I better go in," Callie told Arizona reluctantly pulling away.

"Oh before I forget," Arizona whipped her hand from behind her back where she was hiding another flower. It was a jonquil. Callie accepted the gift watching Arizona as she walked to her car. She turned around blowing a kiss in farewell. Callie went inside her house. She looked at the card attached to the pale white flower with a bright yellow center.

**Jonquil-I hope you return my affection. Need I say more.**

**-Arizona**

She placed the assorted bouquet in the vase with the original flower given to her by the masseuse. Callie stretched her arms above her head feeling the soreness of muscles that didn't get regular use like her abs. Arizona certainly gave her a strenuous workout these past two days. Her muscles might complain but she certainly would not. Callie made her way upstairs to her bedroom intent on getting ready for bed. Switching on the light, she immediately spied one final gift from her thoughtful girlfriend. It was a pink carnation.

**This flower means that I miss you already. When can I see you again?**

**-Arizona**

Callie put the flower in a cup leaving it on her nightstand to have a reminder. She went to sleep content to dream. Across the city, a sleepy blond did the same. Both women dared themselves to dream of a future. A bold, daring dream where happiness was grasped head on with both hands. It's what they both wanted. But in the harsh light of day, reality usually has little in common with what we want.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Dancing In The Dark**

Callie awoke to the start of her day her body abuzz with a renewed zest for life. Her eyes immediately sought out the pink carnation as verification that the past days weren't just part of her overactive imagination. Sighing in relief, she got into the shower. She lost herself in thought washing over her vody until she reached her left shoulder. Wincing in pain, Callie look at her shoulder. She laughed at the indentation of a perfect set of teeth marks made by Arizona as she bit down on her flesh as she climaxed. Callie actually didn't mind the mark choosing it to think of a reminder of how passionate her girlfriend can get in the heat of the moment. Thinking of their date, Callie was inspired.

Arizona had been at work most of the day. She knew she should feel tired but the novelty of the new relationship had her flying pretty high. Mid-afternoon found Teddy looking for her with a package in her hands.

"What's that you got there Teddy?" she questioned.

"I don't actually know because it is for you," her friend answered.

"Me?" she replied in disbelief, "Well give it here." Arizona tore open the long, rectangular box. Inside the package was cherry wine box that held a bottle of wine from the Chateau Ste. Michelle vineyards. There was a card inside the box.

"**Here is a small reminder of the wonderful time we spent together on our first date. I'll always remember and treasure it. I hope you will too."**

**Love,**

**Callie**

Teddy watched the sheer joy spread across Arizona's face as she read the card. Arizona placed the card against her racing chest overcome with happiness.

"Whose is it from?" Teddy asked out of sheer curiosity.

"I went on a date with Callie yesterday," the blond offered in explanation.

"Did you sleep with her?" Teddy asked knowing Arizona's usual MO. Arizona could only shake her head affirmatively in answer to Teddy's question.

"Before or after the date," her friend clarified.

"Well before the date, and during the date," the peds doctor admitted.

"Wait," Teddy said halting Arizona from speaking further, "You slept with her _before_ the date, and you still actually went on a date with her?"

"Yes," Arizona croaked.

"Omigod," Teddy squealed, "This is serious!"

"I know," the commitment shy blond said beginning to hyperventilate from panic.

"Breath Arizona," Teddy ordered, "Sit down and tell me all about it." Teddy listened to the whole sordid story without so much as a single comment, and it drove Arizona nuts.

"Theodora!" she said waiting for the heart surgeon to say something, anything.

"What?" Teddy answered with a shrug.

"Say something!" she ordered.

"I don't know what you want me to say," Teddy replied.

"No comments about how we met, what she does for a living?" she questioned her friend skeptically.

"Who am I to judge?" Teddy said shrugging her shoulders again, "I married a patient so he could have health insurance, and my fake husband has become the love of my life. So I'm pretty sure I have no room to judge. Besides you have seemed...lighter. I never knew what it was but since you told me, I realize she must have something to do with it. So, if you are good, then I'm good."

"I'm good Teddy," she confirmed with a smile, "She makes me...feel."

"I want to meet her," her friend informed.

"Oh no, it is way too soon for that," Arizona objected getting up to walk away.

"You can't keep her in your dungeon of love forever!" her friend kidded.

"Keep talking like that and you will never, ever get to meet her!" Arizona shot back.

"Look," Teddy said in seriousness, "When you are ready, I'd really like to meet the woman that has made my best friend rise from the dead."

"You'll behave," Arizona said cocking her head to one side.

"I promise," Teddy swore holding out her pinky finger, "I even pinky promise." Arizona shook her finger. Shortly after, Teddy was paged to the emergency room leaving Arizona firmly ensconced in a beautiful pink bubble of a new romance.

The two women saw each other as much as they could. Unofficially, they took turns planning dates for one another. Callie took Arizona to a Seattle Mariner's baseball game. She even went as far as to deck them out in home team gear complete with a jersey and a hat a piece. They had seats on the first base line. Arizona didn't normally enjoy watching sports on TV but there was something totally different about being at a live event. The camaraderie among strangers with a common bond was contagious and Arizona soon became infected. She cheered on the players, and heckled the umpires with the best of them. Unfortunately, the Mariner's were down by two points with two outs with runners on second and third in the last inning of the game. The batter was down in the count two strikes, with no balls. They watched the opposing team's pitcher wind up for what could be the last pitch of the game. The anticipation was too much for Arizona and she closed her eyes tightly unable to bear witness. She heard the distinct thwack of metal making contact opening up her eyes just in time to see the ball soar over the left field fence. The crowd erupted. Arizona and her date jumped out of their seats in joy. Arizona's enthusiasm carried her away and she reached forward wanting to plant a wallop of a kiss on Callie but she stopped short. Callie looked at her date in concern.

"You okay?" she shouted over the crowd.

"Yeah," Arizona shouted back, "I was just about to kiss you but then it occurred to me that I don't know how you feel about PDA." Callie smiled in answer grabbing Arizona by the shoulders planting a doozy on her lips. She released a stunned Arizona after a few seconds.

"Does that answer your question?" Before Arizona could answer, the crowd erupted in another round of celebration. Callie pointed to the large jumbotron screen. Arizona followed Callie's fingers to see herself and Callie kissing on the gigantic screen. Then it flashed to a live shot of the pair. Feeling giddy, Arizona nodded giving the crowd a cocky wink earning more cheers from the overly rambunctious crowd. After the game, Arizona took Callie back to her apartment where she scored multiple times herself. During the post game showers, Arizona brought up the topic of meeting her friends to Callie.

"If you are ready that is," she said causally handing Callie the shampoo. Callie turned her back to Arizona on the pretense of needing to wet her hair but really she didn't want her lover to see the uncertain look splashed on her face.

"We've been dating awhile now," Arizona began a nervous tangent, "And I just figured the next step forward in our relationship would be to meet each other's friends. Not that I don't want to keep you to myself because I do it's just..." Callie hearing what she needed to interrupted her ramble. She wanted to meet the important people in her girlfriend's life but she just wanted to ensure that Arizona's motives were in the right place.

"Arizona," she said sternly, "Shut up." Arizona was slightly taken aback Callie stepped forward into her girlfriend's personal space.

"You want to move forward," she asked suddenly feeling vulnerable.

"Yes, I do," Arizona answered equally vulnerable.

"I'd love to meet your friends," the brunette replied with a huge smile showing off all of her lovely white teeth.

"Okay then. It is settled. You are going to meet my friends," she reiterated with more surety than she actually felt.

Arizona arranged for them all to meet at Joe's since it was conveniently located as most of her friends were other doctors except for Sam, and her girlfriend, Jill. It was dance night, and she was looking forward to surprising Callie with her moves. When the day finally arrived, the roles were seemingly reversed finding Arizona extremely nervous instead of the other way around.

"Relax honey," Callie said trying to ease her nerves.

"I just really want them to like you," she said twisting the napkin her drink was on into a tight wad. Callie took the mangled napkin out of her hands keeping them securely in her own.

"Look at me," she ordered firmly. Arizona brought her worried eyes to her girlfriend's confident ones.

"They are going to see how much I like you, and how much you like me, and it is all going to be okay."

"You're right," she replied shaking her head to clear out the negativity.

"You are right," she restated again with confidence, "Oh there they are!" Arizona waved her friends over as they walked through the door.

"By the way," Arizona causally mentioned, "I told Teddy everything." It took a second for the words to sink in, and when it did, Callie gulped loudly.

"Everything?" she croaked hoarsely.

"Yes ma'am," the blond joked, "She knows all about our sordid history."

"Well, that's, that's swell," came the brunette's feeble reply. Now it was Callie's turn to feel the nerves jumping around in the pit of her belly. She put on her game face as Arizona introduced her to her group of friends. Callie was relieved to see the familiar face of Sam. She was with her partner, Jill and each woman greeted her with a smile as well as a warm hug. Then there were the friends from work. Teddy was the first in line, looking at Callie like the cat that swallowed the canary.

"Callie, this is my best friend, Teddy," Arizona began the introduction, "Teddy this is Callie."

"It is so nice to finally meet you," Teddy told Callie giving her a friendly hand shake, "I've heard so many great things about you." The last bit, Teddy gave Callie a knowing wink.

"Teddy," her friend cautioned.

"Oh relax Arizona," she chided her friend sliding into the booth. Next in line was Miranda Bailey. She stood before Callie with her arms crossed over her chest, and a scowl across her face.

"Miranda, this is my girlfriend Callie," she began.

"Doctor Torres," Miranda replied in an accusatory tone.

"Miranda," Callie replied warmly, "It's been a long time."

"You two know each other," Arizona commented stupefied.

"Yes," Miranda snapped in reply, "We know each other. We used to know each other very well until she dropped off the face of the Earth. Couldn't answer her phone, wouldn't return any messages. Was someone keeping you prisoner or something."

"Or something," Teddy snickered earning her a look that could kill from Arizona. If she heard Teddy's comment, she ignored it continuing her rant against Callie.

"People were worried," Bailey finished with a huff.

"I'm really sorry Bailey," Callie fessed up in all sincerity.

"Get over here girl," Miranda conceded opening her arms for a hug.

"You look good Callie," Miranda commented after giving Callie a thorough once over.

"I feel good!" she replied honestly moving over allowing Miranda to move past her into the booth. She sat down across from Miranda eager to catch up. Arizona playing hostess, offered to take drink orders to the bar.

"You need some help?" Callie asked thoughtfully.

"Nope," she responded flashing her happy dimpled smile to her girlfriend, "You stay here and mingle." Callie accepted a light peck to her cheek before Arizona headed off in the direction of the bar leaving Callie alone in a pack of potential wolves circling its prey. Miranda was the first wolf to strike.

"So how did you and Arizona meet?" she wondered.

"We have a friend in common," Callie answered automatically with the stock answer she came up with to deal with such a question. The table accepted the answer but Miranda's eyes narrowed suspiciously in doubt but she chose to let it go for now because Arizona returned carrying their drinks with Karev in tow.

"Look who I found flaming out trying to hit on a girl that was clearly not interested," Arizona teased her protege. Karev mumbled a greeting to everyone his eyes bugging out in shock when they rested on the tan face of Callie. Callie had a similar reaction upon seeing Karev as well.

"Callie this is Alex Karev," she introduced, "He's my shining star on the peds ward."

"We've met," Callie replied neutrally so she wouldn't raise any alarms, "Good to see you again, Alex."

"You too Dr. Torres," he answered equally neutrally.

"How come you didn't say anything the night we saw Callie out on the disaster date with Mr. Studly Pants?" Arizona asked with a punch to his arm.

"Ow," he protested lamely holding his arm, "I was drunk and she was clear across the room with her back to me. Arizona looked at him clearly not buying his explanation.

"Did I happen to mention I was drunk," he tried again.

"I was there too, Arizona and I didn't recognize her," Miranda chimed in coming to Alex's rescue.

"You were drunk too," Arizona said remembering the night.

"Yes I was, and maybe I'll even be again tonight. Cheers!" she raised her glass in salute before taking a sip. Arizona narrowed her eyes in suspicion not quite content that she was getting the entire story, but she opted to let it go for now. She chose to enjoy getting to know her girlfriend more thoroughly through the new eyes of her closest friends. She was especially grateful everyone seemed to hit it off. Flowing alcohol only helped tip the scales in her favor. She was in the middle of listening to another notorious escapade during Callie's tenure at Seattle Grace when Jill sprung from her seat like a grasshopper on fire.  
>"I love this song," she squealed happily, "Come on Arizona. Let's go shake what the good Lord gave us." She grabbed Arizona by the hand not really giving her an option. Arizona shot Callie an apologetic look as she was dragged away. Callie smiled in return letting her know it was okay. Callie turned her attention back to the conversation around the table. She noticed Alex trying to catch her eye.<p>

"Next round is one me," she announced standing up from the booth, "What is everyone having?"

"I'll give you a hand," Alex volunteered a little too eagerly after Callie took the orders.

"You can't tell her," Alex said immediately once they were out of the earshot of the group, "She'll give me crap surgeries for the rest of my life."

"Alex," she said in a placating tone as if she were talking to a little boy, "She is already suspicious and I won't lie to her if she asks."

"If she asks," he repeated pondering her words.

"Mmm hmm," she replied before stressing her next words, "If she asks."

"Ohh, okay. I can totally live with that," he said relieved taking some drinks back leaving Callie at the bar to collect the rest. She returned not long after to find the group as a whole staring at the crowd gathered around the dance floor. She turned her attention to the dance floor to see what all the fuss was about. Her jaw dropped to the floor seeing Arizona engaged in a very sexy mambo with her partner. Not only that, Arizona was good. In fact, both women were good, very good. The dance was so realistic that Callie found her blood simmering with jealousy. Seeing the look of pure hatred on Callie's face directed towards her partner, Sam intervened.

"It's just a dance," she said discreetly.

"I know," Callie muttered unconvincingly, "But do they have to look so good doing it?"

"They both love to dance. It is in their blood. It is completely harmless," Sam expounded more.

"Doesn't look harmless," Callie said underneath her breath, "It looks like they are about to go at it right there on the dance floor. Wait. Did you say loves to dance?"

"Yeah. Arizona went to undergrad on a dance scholarship," Sam informed, "She probably would've gone professional if she hadn't torn her ACL ligament. You didn't know?"

"No, no I didn't," Callie was remiss to admit there were some things she still didn't know about her girlfriend.

"Yeah her and Jill have that in common, and since I look epileptic when I try to dance, Jill grabs her any chance she can get," Sam replied. Sam supplied more information about Arizona that Callie didn't know while Callie's eyes remained super glued to the sensual sway of Arizona's hips and the sexy way she moved her body as it interacted with Jill's. It made the simmer in her blood escalate to a full on boil but in an altogether different way. She could hear Sam droning on in the background like an irritating mosquito buzzing around her head Callie was no stranger to Latin dancing, and when another song came on, she got up leaving Sam still talking as if Callie was there. Jill graciously stepped aside allowing Callie to step in. Callie picked up mid-beat matching Arizona's moves with her own.

"That was some show," she commented never missing a beat.

"You and Alex have history don't you?" she asked turning around to grind her supple ass against Callie's front. Callie swung Arizona by the arm so that she was facing her again. Callie inserted her knee in between Arizona's legs pressing intimately against the hot blond before surprising Arizona with a spontaneous dip. Once upright, Callie kept her girlfriend pressed tightly into her changing from a sexy mambo to a dirty dance that was about to get very, very dirty.

"Alex and I fucked one time," she answered finally as the alcohol loosened her tongue.

"I'm going to kill him," Arizona responded seething in jealousy.

"You have nothing to worry about because the only person I want to fuck is you, right now." Callie punctuated her statement by latching onto Arizona's ass pulling her more snugly into her creating more pressure between Arizona's legs with her knee.

"I don't care, he has seen you naked," she said petulantly. While Arizona's mind only saw the red of anger, her body was responding in a different shade of red altogether. The alcohol, the music, the sexy dancing combined with Callie's need to possess made for an interesting potion.

"You're not hearing me Arizona," Callie purred against her ear running her hands down the sides of Arizona's breasts, "You...are..the...only...one I want." By this time, the dance floor was fairly crowded and Callie deftly maneuvered them so Arizona was facing the corner with Callie saddled up right behind her. Callie finished her statement with flourish by reaching around Arizona's waist to cup her intimately over her clothes.

"What are you doing?" the stunned blond gasped in a half hearted attempt to protest but soon turned to gasps of pleasure as Callie's hand rubbed over her in lazy circles.

"I told you," Callie repeated hotly against her ear, "I want to fuck you."

"Right here? Right now?" Arizona stopped to clarify although her body was responding to the attention of Callie on basic instinct. She grabbed Callie's hand trying to lead her off the dance floor in the direction of the bathroom but Callie held fast pulling her back.

"Right HERE," she emphasized slipping her hand under the waist band of Arizona's jeans.

"Callie," Arizona said self consciously, "Someone might see."

"No one is paying that much attention to you," Callie told her nipping the tender skin between her neck and shoulder, "It just looks like we're dancing." Callie reached lower pushing her hesitant girlfriend's panties to the side swirling her fingers through Arizona's wet heat causing the bothered blond to moan at the sensation.

"You probably should make an effort to keep dancing though," Callie said smugly knowing she'd won the battle and that Arizona was going to let her take her right in the middle of a crowded dance floor. Arizona began moving her hips again to match the rhythm set by Callie's hips and fingers. Although the music was loud, she bit her bottom lip to stifle the moans bubbling up from her throat. The type A control freak in Arizona would've never initiated public sex on her own but somehow Callie sensed something within her. Maybe it was partly because of how they initially met but Callie brought her to newer, higher heights of arousal and pleasure. Callie pushed her fingers deep as she could into Arizona's wetness swiftly pumping in and out before stroking the swollen bundle of nerves in slow, wet circles. As much as Callie loved drawing sex out with Arizona, she didn't want to push Arizona any further than she already had but Arizona continued to surprise her throwing an arm around her neck pulling her head in for a wild, sideways kiss that was heated, as well as sloppy. Callie kept her left hand on Arizona's hips as Arizona moved wantonly to the age of rhythm of hot, dirty sex. Occasionally, she would reach up to squeeze a breast of tweak an erect nipple to heighten her girlfriend's pleasure. The club became their own private bedroom, and the dance floor became their bed as each woman got lost in the other. While the two women remained ignorant to what was going on around them, their actions weren't quite as covert as they hoped they were. Sam and Jill were on the dance floor as well. They were dancing for awhile when Sam noticed Jill missing a beat which was completely out of character. Jill was staring intently into the corner.

"What are you looking at?" She asked craning her neck to see what had Jill so captivated.

"Don't look," Jill hissed turning them around so Sam could see what she was looking at without being so obvious, "In the corner." Sam looked but all she could see was her friends dancing.

"What?" she asked confused. At that moment, Arizona shifted giving Sam a view of her face.

"Ohhh," she said all too knowingly, "I've seen that face before."

"So Callie's hand is where I think it is?"

"Yup," Same confirmed, "She's fucking Arizona right in the middle of a crowded dance floor."

Jill began to laugh heartily which was not the response Sam thought she would have.

"What's so funny?" she questioned.

"The song playing right now," Jill commented, "How ironic is that?" Sam cocked her head listening to the lyrics blaring over the speakers.

"_**On my waist, through my hair. Think about it when you touch me there. Close my eyes here you are all alone dancing in the dark. Tell me baby if it's wrong to let my hands do what they want?**__"_

"That's hot, right?" Jill husked against Sam's ear.

"Um, yeah so hot we might just get burned," Sam responded a bit shocked that her girlfriend would get turned on watching someone else having sex.

Back in their corner, Callie noticed Arizona's breathing becoming more harsh and labored as she hand continued its carnal activities.

"Do you want to?" she whispered hotly in Arizona's ear sending chills down her spine.

"Callie," she moaned in response

"What is all these people see you?"

"Calliope," Arizona said through clenched teeth clearly not wanting to be teased.

"I don't know," Callie said with fake uncertainty, "It would be awful if someone saw you, so if you want to come, you need to say so." She finished her statement with more quick hard thrusts into Arizona's heat source.

"Yes," Arizona hissed in response to so many questions, not just the one.

"Not good enough," Callie replied harshly reminding Arizona why she made such an excellent dominatrix, "Yes what?"

"Yes, I want you to make me come."

"You don't care if anyone sees you?"

"No," she moaned loudly grinding against Callie's hands trying to finish for herself, "All I really care about is you finishing what you started, damn it!"

"Okay," Callie replied dropping all pretenses focusing all of her attention of Arizona's throbbing clit rubbing in circles with her third and fourth fingers. Arizona made a valiant effort to keep up the charade of dancing but as she drew closer to her destination of pleasure her body froze in place. Arizona's vocal response increased to the point where Callie felt it most prudent to cover her mouth with her unencumbered hand. Arizona screamed out against the hand as the intensity of her orgasm hit her so hard she saw white starts beneath her tightly clenched eyes. The tension quickly left her body making her limp. Callie supported her weight turning her around so Arizona could put her arms around her neck for added support. Callie nuzzled her nose into the crook of her satiated lover's sweaty neck still moving them to the beat.

"Wow," Arizona said once she was finally able speak. Callie laughed all too knowingly.

"Don't gloat," she admonished the brunette playfully.

"Okay, I won't," Callie said pulling back to give Arizona a long, slow, deep kiss. Arizona opened her eyes once the kiss ended. When her vision focused, Sam and Jill caught her eye. Sam gave her a knowing wink causing her to duck her head into Callie's shoulder as a blush spread across her face like wet paint across a floor.

"Oh god," she moaned pitifully.

"What?" Callie asked concerned that Arizona had regrets about what transpired between them.

"Sam and Jill saw the whole entire thing!" she whined.

"Did they like the show?" she asked flippantly earning her a hard smack to her shoulder, "So are you telling me you wish you didn't just have an orgasm so strong that you couldn't see straight or stand upright without assistance?"

"Good point!" Arizona conceded not too proud to admit that Callie was right.

"Right?

"Mm hmm," the blond said nibbling at Callie's full lips, "I think we should go back to my place so I can show you how right you are." The couple walked hand in hand back to the table informing the friends along the way of the intentions to leave. All of her friends met them back at the boot for farewells. Bailey made Callie promise to meet up for lunch soon. Jill enveloped Callie in a genuine hug with Sam following suit. Callie went to pull back from Sam but she held on.

"I don't know how you got her to let go and lose control like that," she whispered conspiratorially into Callie's ear, "But GOOD for you and better yet, good for her." Callie couldn't help the stain of embarrassment gracing her face. Arizona shot her a look as if to say, "Do I even want to know what that was all about?"

"Later," Callie mouthed in her direction indicating not to pursue the matter further. Many hugs and farewells later, Arizona managed to pull her girlfriend out of the bar. They waited in the warm night's air until a cab pulled to the curb. Arizona snuggled into Callie's side for the ride home. She paid the driver pulling Callie along the the elevator. Once alone in the empty elevator, Arizona pounced on Callie pushing her roughly against the wall kissing her so hard Callie thought she could taste blood. She immediately sought to deepen the kiss plunging her tongue deep into the recesses of Callie's mouth. It seemed to Callie that Arizona had more than two hands because they were everywhere from squeezing her bum to kneading the flesh of her breasts. The elevator dinged its arrival on Arizona's floor. Arizona ended the make out session as quickly as it started leaving the brunette alone completely stunned. The door was about to close on Callie but she slid out in time following after Arizona. She got to the apartment to find the door open. She closed the door turning in search of her elusive girlfriend. Before she even knew what was happening she was ambushed again. Arizona swiftly turned Callie around while she ravaged her mouth with hers. She roughly removed Callie's jacked maneuvering her through the living room in the direction of the bedroom. Callie tried to take off Arizona's shirt but her hands were slapped out of the way. Callie tried turning towards the bedroom but was stopped short with a push in another direction. Arizona managed to strip her puzzled girlfriend down to her bra never removing her mouth from one part of Callie's body to another whether it would be her mouth, her neck, or her shoulder. Everywhere her mouth touched caused Callie's nerves to hum in response. Arizona paused long enough to turn on a lamp in the living room before continuing her carnal assault until Callie found her heated flesh pressed against the cool glass of Arizona's floor to ceiling living room window. She hissed at the hot meeting the cold.

"Arizona," she said breaking away.

"Be quiet," Arizona answered in warning.

"What..why?" she asked in confusion. Arizona spun Callie around so fast that she had to quickly put her hands up against the window to keep from whacking her face on the glass. Callie found herself illuminated in an open window, half dressed overlooking the all night diner across from Arizona's apartment building that especially catered to the all night staff working at the hospital. In her temporary stupor, Arizona finished undressing Callie until she stood clad simply in her matching lingerie. She tried pushing away but Arizona was surprisingly strong and wouldn't let her. The forceful manner in which she was being treated was initially disconcerting until Callie realized the direction Arizona was headed with their sexcapade. Then her arousal ricocheted off the charts like bullets against plate glass. Arizona pulled Callie's bra down popping her luscious lobes out. Resting her head on Callie's shoulder, she toyed with her breasts from behind massaging them in rough circles tweaking the nipples into taut peaks.

"You've got an admirer," Arizona commented in a low voice. Callie looked at the diner where a few patrons were making use of the diner's out door seating. She scanned the sparse crowd until her eyes met the intense stare of a male patron. She wasn't sure he was watching her though. Arizona seemed to sense her uncertainty.

"Smile at him," she ordered quietly. Callie didn't immediately respond so Arizona gave her nipples a twist.

"I said smile at him Calliope." The man smiled back at her letting them both know she was indeed the focus of his attention. Arizona kept her left hand on Callie's breast while letting her other hand glide down the heated flesh of her belly slipping under the silky waist band of her panties. She hesitated as her conscious made an impromptu appearance. Callie waited with bated breath eagerly anticipating Arizona's next move in the carnal game of chess they were currently engaged in. It took her a minute to realize why Arizona was hesitating so she ground her ass against Arizona's opting to use non-verbal communication instead.

"Just do it Arizona," she finally said giving her lover permission. That was the spark she needed to take things further by slipping her fully underneath Callie's panties encountering her fiery heat.

"Does being watched turn you on?" Arizona questioned the brunette coating her fingers liberally in Callie's wetness.

"Yes it does," Callie replied in a pant, "But you turn me on more." Callie's hips bucked against Arizona's hand as she worked them at a shallow but steady pace.

"Do you think he is turned on by you?"

"Don't know," Callie rasped in rely as it became increasingly difficult to give a coherent answer.

"You know what I think?" Arizona asked switching from strokes to working Callie's feverish clit in slow, maddening circles trying to extend the pleasure.

"What..." she replied in a deep groan.

"I think he is," Arizona commented knowingly as she peered over the taller womans' shoulder, "See how he's shifting in his seat."

"Yeah," she struggled.

"I bet he's got a big hard on from watching you get fucked," she said.

"Mmm," Callie groaned loving the dirty talk from the normally reticent woman.

"He can look all her wants," the blond commented offhandedly while her hand continue its insanely slow pace, "Only I get to touch you like this." She was driving Callie stark raving mad and she knew it. Callie tried to grind into Arizona's hand to get more contact but Arizona would simply pull back.

"I love it when you touch me baby," the brunette said hoping her compliment would get her what she wanted but Arizona didn't respond.

"Fuck, Arizona will you please touch me now!" she exclaimed in exasperation.

"You want him to watch you come?"

"At this point Arizona, I just want to come," she said echoing Arizona's sentiments from the club not really giving a damn who saw what.

"Just checking," Arizona replied simply applying more sensation to where Callie needed it the most. She switched back and forth from stroking the swollen bundle of nerves to deep thrusts while simultaneously using her free hand to caress Callie's exposed breast. She reveled at the amount of wetness pouring out of Callie onto her hand. Arizona couldn't remember a time when Callie was this wet. Callie started to tremble which Arizona knew usually meant Callie was getting close. Callie placed both palms flat against the window needing extra support as she felt her orgasm gain momentum like tsunami wave heading towards shore.

"Oh god," she cried out as her orgasm crashed over her fevered body. The powerful and intense orgasm flood thorough her body causing her to tingle all over. She could even feel it in the roots of her hair. Arizona maintained contact by pressing her palm flat against Callie's center as she surfed the waves of pleasure. She peppered feathery kisses all over Callie's exposed neck and shoulder until Callie came back to shore. Once she managed to pen her eyes, Callie saw the man looking at her with his mouth open wide. Realizing his erotic show was about to conclude, the man raised to fingers to his brow in salute. She blew him a kiss before turning around to face her girlfriend.

"You were right, that was...wow," she commented somewhat at a loss for words, "I'm not sure I can even walk right now."

"What can I say, you bring out...things in me I never would've dreamed existed," Arizona said with a shrug of her shoulders walking away from Callie towards her room, "You going to stand there all night?" Callie managed to put one foot in front of the other until she could walk with a steady gait following behind Arizona like a puppy.

Their relationship continued to move forward. Both women wanted to see each other as much as possible but Arizona's schedule continued to be frustrating. It has been over two weeks since the couple had actually laid eyes on one another. While they communicated by phone multiple times per day, it was poor substitute for the real things. During a discussion one evening, Callie press to see her busy woman but was met with resistance on Arizona's part.

"I just feel like I am in a long distance relationship," Callie complained, "And I just miss you Arizona. I want to see you."

"I know," Arizona sighed, "I miss you too but I just don't feel up to going out or our usual marathon sex."

"Believe me I know what it's like being a surgeon," Callie told her sympathetically, "I'm not saying we have to go out or screw each other's brains out. At this point, I'd be happy just being in the same room together. We can...watch TV."

"Or take a hot bath," came Arizona's quick reply.

"Whatever you want Arizona, please?"

"Why don't you come by the hospital and I will give you my apartment key."

"Yay!" Callie shouted happily into the phone.

"Have me paged when you get here," the amused doctor chuckled.

"Okay, see you soon!" Callie replied before hanging up her phone She quickly packed an overnight bag before heading over to the hospital. Walking through the main entrance was a little bit surreal and a very daunting for the damaged surgeon. She hadn't been through the main entrance since the day she walked out of the hospital. She'd been back for her ankle, but for some reason, that was different. Towards the end, getting anywhere near the hospital swamped her with dread. But today, walking into the hospital, she still felt those things but she also felt a little bit of the excitement she used to have coming to the hospital awakening like a sleepy bear out of hibernation. She didn't know if it was because she was excited to see Arizona or feeling nostalgic about the good times she had at the hospital. There were a lot of new faces that she didn't recognize that paid her no mind as she traversed her old stomping grounds but then there were a lot of old ones as well that greeted her like a long lost relative. She made it to the nurse's station on the main floor to page Arizona. Leaning against the counter, she stood waiting, and remembering until a deep voice shook her out of her musings.

"I can't believe my eyes. Is that really you Dr. Torres?" the distinct male voice asked. Callie spun around seeing chief Webber greeting her with a genuine smile.

"Chief Webber, it is really good to see you," she smiled back.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I'm waiting for Arizona, uh Dr. Robbins. We're dating." The chief paused for a moment before making an insightful statement.

"Out of all the people in the world you could end up with, you meet another surgeon from the very same hospital you yourself used to work at." Callie really didn't know what the chief expected her to say.

"Maybe the universe is trying to tell you something Torres," he commented cryptically, "Now that I have you here though, can I bend you ear about something." Callie knew the chief well enough to know he wasn't asking so she let herself be ushered down the hall to his office. Arizona arrived shortly after the chief hijacked Callie. The nurse let her know what happened. She couldn't help her mind from spinning about what the pair could be discussing. While she waited, she heard Callie's distinct voice echoing down the hall thanking Dr. Webber and promising that she'd give some thought to his offer. Callie approached the station deep in thought not really aware of her girlfriend waiting anxiously for her. When she did, it took a double take for her to acknowledge.

"Hey Arizona," she said giving her girlfriend a kiss and a hug, "I've missed you." She inhaled the unique scent of Arizona helping put her mind at ease

"I've missed you too," she replied squeezing back. She waited for Callie to bring up the conversation with Richard until it became apparent that Callie was not going to be the one to initiate that conversation.

"Are you going to tell me what that was all about Calliope?" her patience completely out.

"I'm still kinda letting it sink in," Callie admitted with chagrin. Seeing the look on Arizona's face, she knew she had to expound further.

"He told me about the opening for a head of Ortho which he wanted me to consider it," she informed the impatient blond.

"How do you feel about that?" Arizona asked tentatively trying not to let her hope escape in her words.

"Honestly?" Callie answered.

"Of course," she replied.

"I am in no way ready for that amount of pressure," Callie said being totally self aware.

"Okay," Arizona said trying to hide her disappointment.

"I told him that I wasn't ready, and he asked if there was any capacity in which I did feel ready to come back."

"Oh?" Arizona responded bouncing back up like a rubber ball.

"Yeah he is willing to work with me on my terms just to get me back."

"But he is the one who made you take the leave of absence," Arizona retorted with righteous indignation.

"He apologized for that and I don't harbor any grudges against him for it. Being chief can't be easy."

"So how did you leave things with the chief," she asked bringing the conversation back to the topic at hand.

"I told him I would think about it."

"Well that is a positive step that you are even considering it," Arizona praised her brave girlfriend.

"Thank you Arizona," Callie said totally from her heart.

"You're welcome?" Arizona phrased her answer more as a question because she didn't know exactly what Callie was thanking her for.

"You've been supportive of my situation despite what you want for me. I can tell what you want me to do by how excited you were about the thought of me working here."

I really do want you to work here but I realize you need to want that too, so I am trying to be patient and supportive of your needs." Arizona said looking directly into Callie's honest and hopeful brown eyes.

"I know and I am grateful, now can I have what I came here for?" Callie said wanting to change the subject.

"And what exactly is it that you came here for?" Arizona asked batting her long eyelashes flirtatiously.

"You know why I am here," Callie said holding out her hand expectantly.

"You want to drag me by my hair like some cave woman into the nearest on call room and ravage my sexy body," Arizona said thinking out loud.

"I do but someone said she is too exhausted for 'marathon' sex." Callie reminded her pointedly.

"Yeah," the tired doctor sighed, "She is extremely tired." Arizona reached in her pocket to give Callie what she came for.

"Text me when you're about to leave so I know when to expect you," she said accepting the key.

"Okay," Arizona agreed, "I'm really looking forward to falling asleep in your arms," Arizona said smiling happily.

"Me too," Callie whispered as she gave the other woman a peck and a warm hug good bye.

Callie went to Arizona's apartment to wait receiving the text a couple hours later. She went into the bathroom to draw a bath for Arizona in her large whirl pool tub. She added some lavender bath salts to the steamy waters before lighting all the candles she could find in the bathroom. She hoped her efforts came off as relaxing. She came out at the same time Arizona entered the apartment.

"You look so tired," Callie noted the slumped posture and heavy gait.

"I am," she said apologetically throwing her bag and jacket onto the couch.

"Well I'm here to take care of you tonight," Callie said reaching for her hand tugging her towards the bathroom.

"Wow this looks like heaven," she commented to Callie in appreciation.

"You like it?" Callie asked self consciously.

"Yeah," Arizona answered grabbing the hem of her shirt to pull it over her head but Callie stopped her by placing her hands over Arizona's.

"Let me?" Arizona nodded her head in assent too tired to protest. Callie took gently care removing the tired woman's clothes. Once she was bare, she lead Arizona to the tub holding her hand to help her in. After Arizona was settled in comfortably, Callie grabbed a plastic cup intending to wash Arizona's hair.

"Aren't you coming in?' Arizona pondered.

"Do you want me to?" Callie responded with her own question.

"Yes this is too heavenly not to share."

"Okay then," Callie said agreeably as she stood to shed her own clothes. Once she was completely naked, she notice Arizona's eyes narrowed in desire as she her gaze blazed a path over her nude form.

"You're too tired, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah," Arizona grumbled in protest, "Just because I'm too tired doesn't mean I don't want you."

"I know," Callie told her sliding in behind her, "You can make it up to me multiple times another day, okay?"

"Count on it," Arizona promised.

"I will, now turn around and let me take care of you." She grabbed the cup washing Arizona's hair massaging the shampoo into her hair eliciting groans of relaxation out of her recipient. After rinsing her hair out, Callie went to work on bathing Arizona's body paying close attention to the tension built up in Arizona's neck and shoulders. Doing all she could in the position they were in, Callie suggested that Arizona turn so that they would be facing one another. Arizona complied happily as Callie washed her legs and feet. Being a surgeon meant standing on your feet for long periods of time so she took extra care with Arizona's tired feet and aching calves.

"I know this is going to sound sexual but I don't care. You have really skilled hands, Callie."

"You're right that does sound totally dirty for a woman that has roller skates for shoes," she joked.

"I don't mean it that way. Wait, I do but it just makes me really curious about your talents as a surgeon." Callie dropped Arizona's foot with a splash back into the tub giving her a glare.

"What?" Arizona asked innocently.

"I'm really thinking about it okay so no more pushing," Callie replied tersely.

"I'm sorry if it came off as pushing," she apologized to Callie sitting up to face her, "There's so much I want to know about you and that is a big piece."

"I get that Arizona. I do because finding out you went to undergrad on a dance scholarship made me realize how much I still have to find out about you," she paused taking a deep breath to quell the defensiveness she could feel rising, "But what you need to know is I want to operate again. I never stopping wanting that but it scares the hell out of me. Not so much as it used to so I am thinking about it."

"Okay," Arizona relented giving Callie's shoulder a squeeze.

"I'm going to get out now to get ready for bed. Let me know when you're ready and I will come and get you."

"Callie, I can..."

"I'm taking care of you tonight," she interrupted bossily, "So call me."

"Alright," she said mainly to placate the stubborn Latina. She stayed in the tub until the water was cold and her fingers resembled a raisin. She let Callie pamper her further by drying her off then dressing her in pajamas. Settling into bed, Callie pulled Arizona close. Snuggling in, Arizona murmured sleepily, "Thank you Calliope. No one has ever taken such good care of me before."

"Now that is a shame," Callie said softly kissing her head, "It was my pleasure. Now go to sleep."

"M'kay," came the garbled reply. While Arizona slept, Callie's mind churned with the possibility of being a surgeon once more. Webber was willing to help her anyway possible bu t the fear of her past fought valiantly against that desire. Eventually, it exhausted her enough that she finally went to sleep.

Sometime during the night, Callie awoke out of a sound slumber struck with the answer to a question that had been plaguing her doggedly for sometime. She jumped out of bed in a fervor. She rummaged noisily around the room in search of her clothes. The clamor awakened a confused blond. Switching on her bedside lamp, Arizona jumped upon seeing her semi-clad girlfriend standing in the middle of her room.

"What are you doing?" she asked in alarm.

"I have to get to the hospital. I have to talk to Richard. I need to do it right now."

"Callie," she said getting out of the bed.

"I figured it out Arizona, don't you see? I have to go," Callie said in a rush.

"Figured out what, Calliope?"

"How to make the cartilage solidify," she answered as if it were the answer to one plus one.

"Okay," Arizona said calmly removing the shirt from Callie's hand dropping it back on the floor. Placing her hands on Callie's shoulders, she gently sat her down on the bed.

"That is amazing baby. It really is, but you do realize that Richard isn't at the hospital right now."

"What do you mean? He is always at the hospital. He is the chief." Callie said getting annoyed.

"Yes he is the chief but a lot of things have changed sweetie, and he is usually spends his nights at home with is wife nowadays because he has to help take care of her since she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's."

"Oh," Callie said deflating.

"Hey," Arizona said sympathetically, "We will go first ting okay?"

"Yeah," she agreed realizing Arizona was right and that she didn't have a choice. Arizona pulled the covers up before shutting off the light. She fell back to sleep quickly but Callie's mind was ablaze preventing her from sleep so she tossed, she turned until finally giving up on sleep opting to transcribe on paper the information her brain was giving to her. When Arizona woke up the next morning, she found the other half of the bed cold. Shuffling sleepily out to the kitchen, she found Callie dressed with breakfast started complete with coffee brewing.

"It's about time Rip Van Winkle," Callie chided all in good nature. Arizona, never a morning person, mumbled something about Callie being an eager beaver but the excited chose to ignore the grumpy comment.

"Breakfast will be ready in 15 minutes, 20 tops," she informed her girlfriend handing her girlfriend a mug of piping hot coffee, "Now go get ready!" Arizona accepted the mug with a glare before skulking away to the bathroom. She got ready leaving exactly three minutes to spare. She felt better after her coffee and the two women enjoyed their breakfast together. Callie chatted her ear off the entire way to the hospital until she abruptly stopped short at the main entrances. It was almost as if she was transported back in time to right after she returned from Iraq. She started to perspire, her hear was pounding in her chest, her fingers and face all tingled in dread. Arizona turned around wondering what finally made Callie shut up. The amusing smile quickly dropped off her face as soon as she saw the vacant expression on Callie's face. Since learning that her girlfriend had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Arizona made it her personal mission to teach herself all there was to know about the disorder. Know your enemy was an early childhood lesson taught to her by her father. If she was right in her thinking, Callie was having a flash back. And Callie was. Callie was frozen in fear. She may as well have been in Iraq with gun fire blasting over her head, bombs screeching loudly in the air, and the wails of the dying surrounding her. She felt helpless and small. It sounded like an echo at first. The words were not clicking in her brain but it forced it to allot some focus to what she was actually hearing. When her vision and hearing cleared, Arizona was all she could see. Her lips were moving. She could make out her name and as her hearing completely returned she heard, "Callie it is okay. You are in Seattle. You are safe." Over and over successfully pulling her back onto the firm concrete in front of the hospital in Seattle. She took a few deep breaths to staunch her nerves. Arizona waited patiently rubbing calming circles across her back.

"Does that happen a lot Calliope?" she asked with real concern in her voice.

"It used to happen all the time but I can't even remember the last time," she replied her words coming out as pants from all the exertion.

"Do you need me to take you home?" she asked trying to be helpful.

"NO!" Callie denied adamantly, "I'm doing this."

"Yes you are," Arizona encouraged, "What can I do to help?"

"Just sit with me a minute," she said motioning to a nearby bench.

"You got it," Arizona replied sitting next to her shaken partner, "After all, I am insanely early because my girlfriend had me up at the butt crack of down so take all the time you need."

"Your girlfriend sounds annoying," Callie answered trying to play along to distract her mind.

"You have no idea," was the reply Callie got.

"Hey," she said in protest.

"What I was going to say before I was so rudely interrupted was that you have no idea how incredibly brave, and strong my girlfriend is, and how much I admire her for helping our soldiers so they could make it possible for me to sleep soundly in my bed at night."

"She doesn't feel brave and strong," Callie said meekly.

"Well she is wrong, and you don't want to argue with me. I grew up with the name Arizona. I learned how to fight on the playground. Plus I am right, and I'm awesome."

"And apparently cocky and let's not forget what a grumpus you are in the mornings," Callie retorted with a chuckle.

"Yeah well..." Arizona drawled before settling down in silence until Callie stood abruptly.

"It's now or never," she announced confidently, "Let's go!" She took Callie's hand in hers proceeding through the doors into the hospital. Once securely inside, she turned to Callie beaming in pride.

"You did it Calliope," she cheered, "I am so proud of you!"

"Yay me," came Callie's attempt at downplaying the situation.

"Don't do that," Arizona admonished, "It was a big step, okay?"

"Okay," the brunette reluctantly agreed. She hated feeling so weak especially in front of her girlfriend who she'd met coming from a position of power.

"Do you want me to come with you when you talk to the chief?" Of course Callie wanted her to come along, but she declined the offer.

"Well alright then, page me when you are done and let me know how it goes." Arizona responded lightly hoping to hide the secret hurt she felt when Callie rejected her offer to help.

"Okay," Callie said as the peds surgeon went to work. Before she got too far, Callie called out to her. She walked back concerned.

"Thank you," Callie said from her heart.

"You are welcome," came the reply just as much from the heart. With a gentle kiss, Arizona went off to start her day.

Arizona kept herself busy to keep from going insane waiting for Callie to page her. She filled Teddy in on the situation so there were now tow women anxiously awaiting Callie's page. Arizona was so on edge that she nearly jumped out of her skin when her pager finally went off. Callie's page said to meet her in one of the unused labs. When she walked in Callie was making a list of equipment necessary to continue her cartilage research. With her was a woman from the procurement department noting Callie's requirements. Arizona waited as the pair finished up. Once the other woman was gone Arizona burst.

"Well?"

"I am coming back," Callie said triumphantly.

"That is all there was to it? You meet with Richard for nearly two hours, and that's it?"

"Well the chief had some conditions, and I had some conditions but yeah that's it," Callie told Arizona nonchalantly.

"What conditions did the chief have?" Arizona asked ready to back up her girlfriend if need be.

"He wants to help me through my issues but minimize the risk to the hospital so I have to go to therapy with Dr. Wilson once a week until Dr. Wilson says otherwise."

"Hmm, I guess seeing a shrink is understandable," she commented neutrally, "How do you feel about that?"

"Are you trying to shrink me already," she laughed, "Um, actually I am fine with it because I really want to come back, and it can't hurt right?" Arizona nodded her response.

"Hey," Arizona said suddenly as her mind switched tracks to another thought, "What are you going to do with Velvet?"

"Well, I have been training Candy for awhile now so she can take over some of Cristina's clients which will free Cristina up to oversee more of the day to day business."

"Oh," Arizona replied amazed at Callie's forethought, "Omigod, did you just say you were training Candy?"

"Just caught onto that did ya?" Callie chuckled, "She's actually quite good."

"She can't be as good as you are," Arizona said without thinking.

"No one is that good," was Callie's reply.

"Um okayyy so what are your conditions for coming back to the hospital?" Arizona questioned eager to change the subject again.

"I want to focus on my research until I get comfortable enough just being back in the hospital, then little by little work something small in until I get comfortable doing that. If I keep that up, eventually I hope to feel normal again in the operating room."

"Like sticking your toe in the pool, then your foot, then your legs until you are all the way in?" Arizona summarized the extent of Callie's plan, "That's actually really smart Callie."

"I just hope ti works, " came Callie's uncertain reply.

"It will Callie because it is a well thought out plan plus you'll be getting help from a professional and I am here for you no matter what not to mention Richard and Teddy. You are not alone."

"So you'll be there if I am a mess," Callie said like a small child frightened of thunder and lightening.

"Especially if you area a hot mess," Arizona's complete support totally squashed the rest of Callie's doubts like a bug. She beamed at Arizona happily.

"I'm a doctor again," she said incredulously.

"Yay," Arizona said clapping in response.

"I feel like a virgin all over again," Callie joked good naturedly.

"We should celebrate your renewed virginity!" she said in response.

"We can make plans later," Callie agreed, "But I have to meet Cristina at my accountants to go over all the financial stuff with her."

"Yuck," Arizona commented in distaste wrinkling her nose to show her displeasure.

"Oh before I forget, here's your key back." Callie said holding the silver colored key out to Arizona. She looked at the key gleaming in Callie's palm. Seeing it there, she realized she didn't want it back, so she said as much.

"Are you sure," Callie questioned doubtfully.

"I am sure. I want you to be able to come and go as you please especially since you'll be working here too."

"I don't know Arizona," Callie said still skeptical, "It's a big step."

"Yeah I know it is but I am not sure you can handle it," she said throwing down the gauntlet appealing to Callie's competitive nature. Callie arched an eyebrow quizzically not quite believing her ears.

"Oh I can handle it," she said cockily, "You know very well how good I _can _handle it," she ended the statement with a purr. Arizona stood her ground staring at Callie daringly. Callie held fast as well. It was a good minute before anyone spoke.

"We'll see, "Arizona said with a nod of her chin. She turned to walk away, "Call me later." Callie caught up to Arizona before she could open the door. She spun Arizona around grabbing her roughly possessing Arizona's mouth in a hard, hot kiss. She didn't request permission with her kiss. Like a thief in the night, she broke in, took what she wanted, and crept out leaving Arizona like a deer in headlights.

"How 'bout you handle that," Callie said in parting leaving Arizona panting harshly for air.

"_Damn, she is so damn hot, I could get burned trying to 'handle' that_, " she thought to herself grinning like the Cheshire cat, "_Oh but what a way to go_." Clearing her throat, and smoothing down her clothes she left the lab feeling like she was running on sunshine. It t was like meeting a new friend that you can't live without.

Working together added a new dynamic to their relationship. Not only were they lovers, but they were also colleagues. Seeing your significant other all the time can be detrimental to a budding relationship but it had the opposite effect on theirs. Both women got the face they they craved, and when they weren't working together, they usually spent their free time together as well. In fact, Callie practically lived with Arizona. At first she had the obligatory drawer, but now she had a whole dresser, and half of the closet too. They worried needlessly that spending too much time together would make them lose interest in each other so they agreed to spending at least two night a week apart. It gave them a chance to miss each other. It was on one of their night off that Callie made a startling discovery as she was going through financial documents form the past year.

"_How time flies," _she dialogged with herself shaking her head in disbelief reviewing the information related to Arizona's first time at Velvet. Callie made a mental plan to do something to commemorate the date. When the day arrived, they were working opposing shifts. Callie worked in the evening so before she went to work, she stopped at Arizona's to put her surprise plan in motion. They met briefly in the cafeteria to have a quick dinner before Arizona went home for the day and before Callie got immersed in her night. Arizona left Callie in an usually perky mood. She opened the door walking into a darkened apartment. As she stepped across the threshold, her foot landed on something squishy. Quickly flipping on the electricity, she examined her shoe to find a clump of something brown that actually resembled poop. Turning further into her home, something metallic glinted in the light. Bending down, she picked up a Hershey's kiss off the floor. Walking a little ways in, she came across another then another following the rail of sweet treats into her bedroom where there was a heart constructed out of the candy on the center of her bed. I the middle of the heart was the last flower Arizona gave Callie on their first date. The carnation which carried with it I miss you as its meaning. Along with the flower was a note written in Callie's scrawl.

"**It's been exactly one year to the day that you walked into my life. And since you've literally kissed the ground I've walked on, I thought it was only fair that I do the same."**

**Love,**

**Callie**

It was only after reading the note that the confused blond surgeon got the significance of the Hershey's "kisses" being placed on the floor she traversed every day. She immediately placed a call to her thoughtful lover. She picked up on the first ring as if she was expecting a phone call.

"Wow," Arizona said smiling into the phone, "Who would have ever believed that a big, bad dominatrix like yourself would be such a cuddler, and now sweet and also romantic."

"I do not cuddle!"

"Keep telling yourself that," she patronized Callie.

"So you liked it?" she wondered.

"Callie, I loved it," she began the statement and was about to say, "_And I love you,_" but she stopped short as the revelation crashed into her like a ton of bricks.

"Good I am glad," Callie replied not taking notice anything was awry. Arizona could say more because Callie was talking urgently to someone in the background.

"Gotta go," she said to Arizona in a rush.

"Go be awesome," she told Callie.

"See you later," Callie bid her farewell. Arizona plopped on her bed in wonder.

"_I love her?"_ she questioned herself wondering if it was too soon to have such strong feelings for Callie. Not being familiar with being in a relationship, she also wondered if it wasn't soon enough. She repeated the words mentally again trying to get used to the new information.

"I love her," she said aloud feeling the strange words roll off her tongue. And then it clicked, and she knew without a doubt.

"I love her," she said happily letting herself fall back on her bed high off the emotions sweeping through her like a gentle breeze. It wasn't alien or strange anymore. It just fit. But what didn't fit was whether or not it was the right time to share her feelings with Callie. Arizona deliberated whether or not she should. In the end, she decided that if she wasn't sure, then she'd wait until she was sure. It seemed logical. If Arizona had ever been in love before, she would've known nothing about matters of the heart could ever be considered logical.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: I Know It Ain't Easy Giving Up Your Heart**

Hello everyone! Chapter 12 & 13 were supposed to be all one big chapter but I broke up into separate ones. I apologize for the long delay and thank Shaz can Calzonafan143 for keeping me on my toes. My life has been crazy. I spend a lot of time trying to control chaos. However, I will admit that I contributed to the long delay because I was determined to beat a game I was playing (Dead Island is addicting. And yes I am a nerd, and I embrace the nerdiness). So, I am back and hope to finish this up soon! Hope you guys enjoy.

Callie was making big strides in her professional life. Her plan to take baby steps gradually reintroducing herself to the fast paced, chaotic nature of being a surgeon coupled with the weekly therapy sessions were paying off. She was able to observe surgeries in an OR with little to no problems at all. It made her want to take risks in other part of her life as well. Particularly her personal life, more specifically with Arizona. Because when she looked back on things, Arizona was the main one taking the major risks. Arizona gave her the key to her apartment basically giving her free reign in the private sanctuary of her home. Arizona introduced her to all of her friends. She'd even told the truth about how their relationship began to her best friend. Callie decided it was time to step it up on her part so she made plans for Arizona to have dinner with her inner most circle which consisted of Mark, Cristina, Kellie and Max. Kellie graciously offered to hold the dinner party at her house and Callie accepted figuring it would be okay since everyone already knew each other anyway except Mark. Arizona was excited about it until Callie told her who she was going to be meeting and where. Jealousy permeated her body eventually seeping out of her like toxic waste. As hard as she tried to contain the spill, eventually Callie was affected by the poison as well. She was tired of terse one word interactions she'd been having with Arizona so she finally called her on it.

"What in the world is your problem Arizona?:" she demanded in exasperation. Arizona played dumb pretending not to know what sh was talking about, so Callie expounded further.

"I feel like you've been avoiding me, when I do manage to pin you down you barely say a word to me, and you can't look me in the eyes, and you haven't so much as touched me in days!"

"What? That's not true," she denied.

"It is true and you know it!" Callie shouted getting angry at having her feelings so easily discounted.

"Don't you think you might just be over reacting a tad bit?"

"Over reacting...over reacting!" she repeated loudly placing her hand on her hips in annoyance, "Yeah maybe I am over reacting about you avoiding me, not talking to me, not looking at me, but not touching me? No! When we're together, you can barely keep you hands off of me so if you know what is good for you, quit patronizing me and don't you dare even go there," she warned for good measure.

"You wanna know what's good for me?" Arizona said getting up off the couch to walk over to the bar where Callie was standing getting up in her face.

"Yeah I want to know," Callie effectively closed the distance so they were practically nose to nose.

"It is great for me, no awesome for me to meet my girlfriend's friends at her ex girlfriend's house!" she yelled angrily.

"Is that what this is all about?" Callie said taking a step back physically and emotionally.

"What are you talking about?" Arizona asked wondering if they were on the same page.

"You're jealous," she told Arizona point blank.

"Am not," she replied quickly.

"Am not...really? I think you spend too much time around kids," the Latina retorted.

"So now I am jealous and childish?" Arizona bellowed.

"Yes, you are!" Callie punctuated the statement by poking Arizona in the chest with her fingers.

"Alright fine!" Arizona shouted, "You're right! I am so jealous of Kellie I can barely see straight!" the blond admitted.

""Why wouldn't you just talk to me about it?" Callie asked the anger abated with the blond admission.

"Because I know it is stupid," was the answer she got.

"Arizona, you're feelings are never stupid. I care about them all even the ones that aren't exactly reality based."

"You know, I actually like Kellie," Arizona told Callie. Callie raised a doubtful brow at that statement.

"I do Calliope," she defended, "I just can't stand that you used to have a serious relationship with her."

"Do you think I enjoy thinking about all the women you've been to bed with before you met me?" she countered.

"But I've never been in a serious relationship before so I feel like I'm driving in unfamiliar territory without any directions."

"Well I am about to give you some directions," Callie informed.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, talk to me the next time something bothers you, Arizona."

"I will try," the novice replied.

"Well that is all I can ask for," she responded reasonably, "Oh and just so you know, you are in a serious relationship now."

"Good to know," Arizona said thankfully.

"Serious relationships have up and downs. In fact, I think we just had our first fight," Callie told her girlfriend.

"I am sorry," came her automatic response.

"Since you are basically a virgin to relationships, I am going to let this one slide," Callie told her putting her arms around Arizona's shoulders, "But there is one good thing about fighting when you are in a relationship."

"Oh really what could that be," Arizona asked as her curiosity spiked.

"Yeah," Callie said maneuvering Arizona to the couch, pushing her down on her back, "The insanely hot make up sex."

"Ohh," Arizona commented as Callie climbed on top of her intent on teaching her all about make up sex.

As it turns out, Arizona got herself worked up over nothing. The dinner was an extremely pleasant affair. She thought she might have to worry about Mark until she got to know him a little better realizing Mark was the biggest queen this side of the Atlantic. Callie's friends were extremely loyal and protective of her. Arizona was glad her girlfriend had people like them in her life. After dinner, Max had an important business call to take, while Cristina, Mark, and Callie needed a moment to discuss some matters pertaining to Velvet. Kellie was overseeing clean up in the kitchen so Arizona meandered out to the patio taking in the stunning view it offered. She was startled out of her musings by Kellie.

"You're going to hurt her," the senator said quite plainly.

"I beg your pardon?" Arizona answered in disbelief.

"I think you heard me the first time," Kellie replied.

"I hardly think you are in any position to talk to me about hurting Calliope," Arizona told her with a knowing smugness.

"So she's told you about us," Kellie commented.

"Yes, she has."

"Don't you think our history makes me uniquely qualified as to what will or will not hurt Callie?" the senator asked reasonably.

"I think it makes you an idiot," Arizona replied with brutal honesty.

"Agreed," Kellie acceded trying to damped Arizona's fire, "I feel a certain...kinship with you, and I am not sure why. But if it has anything to do with what I think it is, then unless you do something to fix it, then you are going to hurt her."

"Why do you care so much?" Arizona wondered aloud somewhat confused as what Kellie's motivation was for having this discussion with her.

"Callie was one of the greatest loves of my life so I want her to be happy. You make her happy." Kellie answered the question with a tinge of regret and sadness in her voice.

"How can you be so sure?" came Arizona's vulnerable reply.

"Again uniquely qualified," she joked before turning serious once again, "Don't make the same mistake I made. Do something about whatever it is before it is too late. Okay Arizona?" Arizona nodded unable to say or ask more because the rest of their companions came outside on the patio as well. Arizona enjoyed the rest of the evening but the question of what she needed to do to fix herself loomed in the back of her mind like a spider dangling in its web. This happy time with Callie had lulled her into a false sense of peace and security but if she was honest with herself, she'd agree about having a certain kind of kinship with the senator. The beast inside stirred meeting another of its kind.

Their ride home was quiet. Callie felt like something was off but gave Arizona a chance to speak up. When she didn't, Callie asked her what was going on but Arizona hedged.

"You promised to try, Arizona," she reminded her girlfriend gently, "Did someone say something to upset you?"

"No, no, no it's nothing like that," Arizona denied, "You're friends really love and want to protect you."

"I know that," Callie said assuredly.

"The problem is," she paused, "I do too."

"From what?" her confused girlfriend asked.

"That's the rub," Arizona replied looking out the window, "How do you protect someone when you just don't know what you are protecting them from?"

"It's really sweet that you want to protect me but I am a big girl and can take care of myself," she said to Arizona meaning to be reassuring.

"I know you can but that doesn't mean I don't want to as well."

"Okay. I mean I feel the same way about you," she said taking Arizona's left hand in hers placing a kiss on the top of it dropping the subject leaving Arizona alone in her thoughts. The days turned into nights, the nights turned into weeks, and so on but one thing remained constant. Arizona worried that Kellie's prediction would come true. It never left the back of her mind, and she didn't know what to do about it. The selfish part of her won out so she just went on with her life After all, it had been such a long time and there was no reason to think things couldn't go on like this indefinitely.

The couple attended Bailey's birthday party. As they were singing to the birthday girl, it dawned on Callie that she had no idea when her girlfriend celebrated her birthday.

"It's December 4th," Arizona told her.

"But that is next week!" she protested lamely.

"Uh, I know since it's my birthday."

"Why didn't you say something?"

"Birthday's just aren't a big deal to me," Arizona shrugged as she watched Bailey attempt to put out a small fire on her cake.

"What does that even mean?" she said needing clarification.

"It means I don't want a party, I don't want a card, a balloon, or presents. I am find with a simple happy birthday." Callie always loved her birthday so she found it disconcerting that her girlfriend was not of the same opinion.

"What are you Jehovah's witness or something," she grumbled grumpily. Arizona just rolled her eyes at Callie's antics choosing not to comment further. Callie couldn't let it go about her birthday so she started taking an unofficial poll about whether or not she, as Arizona's girlfriend should do something for her birthday. Everyone she talked to shared her opinion that she was obligated to do something to honor the day Arizona was born. That was, until she talked to Teddy.

"Why Teddy?" Callie asked desperately.

"Because she explicitly asked you not to," Teddy told Callie.

"But do you think she really meant that?"

"Yeah," Teddy said emphatically, "I do. For as long as I've known her, she has never really celebrated her birthday so yeah I do think she actually meant it and you know what else?" Callie shook her head no.

"You should respect her wishes," Teddy said but seeing the look of pain stain Callie's face caused her to soften a bit, "Look, it's sweet you want to do something nice for her on her birthday, and you still can but you just can not be so blatantly obvious about it." With that, Teddy left Callie to ponder what they just discussed. In the end, Callie decided it was right to respect what Arizona wanted especially since she actually put her wishes into words but that didn't mean she couldn't do something for her. The past few weeks, Arizona had been early insatiable when it came to sex, so Callie concocted a surefire plan to celebrate that could not fail

The day arrived. Callie remained true to Arizona's wishes by not giving her a present, not giving her a card or anything for that matter. She acted like it was any other day. They worked together that day, and Arizona paged her towards the end of the day. She rushed to the on call room thinking something was wrong because it was a 911 page. She was pounced on as soon as the door shut behind her.

"What the hell?" she said startled by the aggressiveness of Arizona's actions, "You paged me 911 for a booty call?"

"Of course not Calliope," Arizona denied coyly, "I am in a lot of pain and I really need you to examine me."

"Oh really," the ortho doctor questioned knowing the "hurt" woman was full of crap, "Where does it hurt?"

"Right here," she said taking Callie's hand trying to slide it into her scrub pants.

"Ah well, miss that is really not my specialty," Callie responded delicately removing her hand, "But I'd be happy to make the appropriate referral so you can get that checked out."

"What?" Arizona croaked finally snapping out of her role play. Callie just kept looking at her with a neutral expression which totally flustered her already flustered girlfriend.

"Calliope," she whine, "I'm really, really horny!"

"Obviously," she retorted back.

"You are really going to turn me down?"

"Yep," Callie said knowing that playing hard to get now would benefit them both later on.

"You are really going to turn me down and on my birthday?" Arizona asked attempting to resort to guilt to get her way.

"Is it your birthday?" Callie asked with fake incredulity before walking out of the on call room without looking back. If she would've, she would've seen Arizona's temper tantrum complete with foot stamping. But she didn't need to see her girlfriend to know how hot and bothered she'd just left her.

Callie got off an hour earlier than Arizona so she could take care of a few things before the birthday girl got home. So, when Arizona got home, she was ready.

"Callie?" she called out.

"In here," Callie returned. She heard Arizona drop her things on the couch, throw her keys on the counter before coming into the room. Arizona entered to find her room softly bathed in the glow of a multitude of candles with Callie lying on her side in the middle of the bed wearing a sheer black negligee held together with delicate pink bows. Callie rose to her knees upon Arizona's entrance into the room.

"I know you said not to get you a present," she said huskily, "But I didn't think you'd mind unwrapping me since you already know what you are getting underneath." Arizona licked her lips at the thought of unwrapping her lover. She kicked off her shoes without a word, stripping bare by the time she got to the bed. Callie's heart quickened at the feral gleam in Arizona's eyes. She crawled onto the bed like a lioness about to strike her prey but little did the lioness know that her quarry was up for the fight of her life. Arizona reached for Callie's face intending to take what she wanted from Callie's supple lips, and pink tongue. Expecting Callie to be docile, Arizona was taken aback when Callie met her mouth with as much fierceness as her own. Their mouths fought passionately bruising with their fervor. Arizona pulled away reasserting her dominance over the situation. She trailed a finger down the side of Callie's neck pausing once she reached one bow waiting until Callie looked at her. Callie's heart was beating so ferociously Arizona could see it in her throat. She plucked the first ribbon holding one side of the negligee together. Tossing it to the ground, she swiftly moved to the next. The negligee fell away exposing Callie's full breasts and nipples. Arizona pushed Callie onto her back. In the blink of an eye, she had raised Callie's hips tearing off the panties not even bothering with the bows. When she was totally naked, Arizona sat back looking at Callie as if she was a buffet, and Arizona was famished. She contemplated having her dessert first by diving right into Callie's succulent sweetness but opted instead to savor each course. Arizona rested her weight on her forearms bending her body over Callie's. She nuzzled the baby soft skins of Callie's abdomen inhaling the uniques cent of Callie's arousal. She nipped the delicate skin wit her teeth then soothed away the sting with a swipe of her healing tongue. She worked her way up to Callie's delicious breasts paying homage to each one individually. She lavished one nippled with her moth and tongue making it stand at attention before moving on to the next. Callie tangled her hands in Arizona's blond tresses encouraging more. When Arizona's mouth moved on, her hands continued to ply Callie's breasts with pleasure. She bypassed her awaiting lovers moth choosing instead to taste her way across the expanse of her shoulders, up to her neck applying suction feeling an urge to make what was hers. Callie gasped in delight at the notion that Arizona was marking her territory so she pressed Arizona tighter against her neck to spur her on. When Arizona got to the Latina's ear, she pressed her body fully into the hot one beneath her. The full body contact at last had Callie writhing in exquisite torture. Arizona could feel how hot Callie was moaning softly into her ear.

"I don't think I can ever get enough of you, Calliope," she husked.

"Oh god, Arizona," Callie groaned in response to Arizona grinding herself slowly against her. She wouldn't last long at this rate and needed to slow things down a bit. She grabbed Arizona's head in her hands to focus the blond's attention.

"Wait, wait, wait," she panted heavily. Hearing Callie speak cleared the sex haze from her brain enough to realize Callie was asking her to stop.

"What is it?" she asked suddenly concerned.

"I just need to slow things down a little is all," she told the worried blond.

"Okay," Arizona agreed, "What did you have in mind?" Callie rolled to her side reaching into the nightstand drawer revealing a black, silk scarf. She held it with both hands displaying it to a skeptical looking Arizona.

"What are you going to do with that? Tie me up?"

"No," Callie retorted, "I want to blind fold you. Will you let me?" Callie strategically asked for Arizona's permission knowing she'd more likely get what she wanted if she gave Arizona the illusion of being in control.

"Kinky," Arizona grinned, "Let's do it!" She turned her back so Callie could tie the scarf over her eyes. Callie's heart swelled like a hot hair balloon at the amount of trust Arizona was giving her. Pressing herself into Arizona's back so she could feel her pointed nipples, Callie' whispered her thanks into Arizona's ear. The unexpectedness of Callie's words in her ear caused shivers to course the entire length of her body. The blindfold took away one of the major five senses heightening the remaining four. Callie moved from behind Arizona instructing her to lay down. She did but got curious when she could hear Callie rummaging through the night stand drawer again.

"What are you doing?" she asked impatiently.

"Just wait and see," Callie told her cryptically. Callie purposely refrained from doing anything to take the sense of anticipation up a notch. She raked her eyes over the expanse of Arizona's nude body. Arizona began fidgeting on the bed sensing Callie's eyes on her exposed flesh. It made her feel as if her skin was on fire. She was about to say something when she heard the unmistakable sound of a click followed by a low humming sound. She tensed up her body in response to the sound. Her brain was in over drive thinking of all the things it could be. Callie brought the iten in question in contact with Arizona's quivering tummy watching Arizona jump as she caressed the creamy expanse.

"W-w-what is that?" she gasped in delight gripping the head board. Callie ran the toy up her stomach brushing it over one breast eliciting a moan from the blond. Callie swiped the toy down the under side of her lover's arm reaching her hand. She held it against Arizona's palm allowing her to feel the tip which was made of ultra fine, ultra soft synthetic bristles. The tickler resembled that of a make up brush only it was much larger. She traversed the expanse of Arizona's chest from one shoulder, across her throat to the other one. She watched in delight as she had her girlfriend squirming as the pulsating softness moved down her side, across her mound to her inner thighs. Arizona spread her legs reflexively wanting to feel more. Callie pressed the cylindrical handle of the tickler against Arizona's mound rolling it back and forth under the palm of her hand. The vibrations against her core had Arizona rocking against Callie's hand trying to get more pressure where she needed it the most. Just as she got going with a satisfying rhythm, Callie took the toy away.

"Grrr," she growled in frustration. Callie laughed in answer.

"Did you like that baby?"

"Why don't you see for yourself," Arizona said spreading her legs open wide in invitation.

"And give you want you so obviously want," Callie said defiantly before closing Arizona's legs, "Not a chance!"

"Suit yourself," was Arizona's attempt at nonchalance.

"Oh I will," Callie replied in a cocky tone. Arizona picked up the sweet smell of cinnamon in the air and wondered if Callie was going to incorporate some sort of food into their latest sexual foray. Her question was answered when she felt a liquid drop onto her stomach. The Callie applied a dollop of the mystery liquid onto each of her nipples. Callie then moved over taking a nipple into her mouth and rolling it with her tongue. When she did that, the combination made Arizona's nipple feel like it was engulfed in flames minus the pain. It was just a warming sensation. She released Arizona's nipple with a pop. She then blew hot air over the peak replacing the warming sensation with a cooling one. Her nipple was overloaded with sensations. She felt like her nipples were a direct line to her aching clit, and everything being done to her nipples seemed like it was being done there as well.

"Oh my god, Calliope," she murmured appreciatively, "That feels amazing."

"I'm glad you like it," Callie replied in a low tone of voice before paying similar homage to the other exposed nipple. The blind folded woman's heart was beating so hard that Callie could feel it in her mouth as she suckled Arizona's nipple. The sensation was a delightful form of torture. It didn't seem like Callie had any intentions of relieving the fiery ache so she decided to take matters into her own hands. Or try to at least. Her fingers barely made contact with their destination before they were smacked away.

"No touching," Callie growled.

"Please Callie," she begged.

"No, just wait," was the answer she got.

"Do I have a choice," Arizona asked sarcastically.

"You always have a choice," was Callie's cryptic reply, "You can hurry up and make yourself have an orgasm..."

"Or," Arizona interrupted eager to know her options.

"Or you can trust me to take really, really good care of you," Callie dipped her fingers into Arizona's wetness to measure how aroused she was. Arizona was more than ready but her girlfriend wanted to make certain Arizona was so hot that she wouldn't dream of turning down the next part of the plan. Callie massaged in slow circular motions gaining more momentum. Just as Arizona's hips joined the party, Callie took her hand away.

"That's just mean Calliope," she pouted.

"Trust me," she reiterated. Arizona just sighed in defeat turning herself over to Callie's more than capable hands. Callie reached over to the nightstand grabbing two things from it. Callie blew out a candle letting it cool. Arizona could smell the acrid smoke but had no clue what she was in for until she felt the sting of hot wax being dribbled down the top of her legs.

"Ahhh what the hell, Callie?" she cried out. Callie took a piece of ice out of a glass using it to soothe away the burn. This treatment had every possible nerve ending in her body singing. There wasn't a place on her body that didn't ache in desire. She had to bite her lip to keep herself from pandering like a beggar on the streets. She'd literally do whatever Callie asked of her if she would just make her come. Callie put the items back before kneeling between Arizona's legs planting scorching kisses on each inner thigh. She took a swipe at Arizona with her tongue tasting her sweetness before making her way up to Arizona's awaiting mouth. She kissed Callie back eagerly. Arizona moaned into Callie's mouth feeling the full body weight of her girlfriend on top of her. She ran her hands all over the Latina's body trying to see with her hands what she was missing with her eyes. She grabbed Callie's taut rear pulling her tightly against her aching center. Holding Callie to her, she began rocking her hips hoping to achieve release. This was short lived as she felt Callie pull herself away.

"Where are you going?" she asked clearly frustrated as Callie got off the bed.

"I'll be right back," came the reply from the bathroom.

"Fine time to have to pee," she muttered to no one in particular. A few minutes later, she fetl the bed dip indicating the brunette's return. Callie laid down on her side next to her frustrated woman. It took Arizona a good minute to register the new element Callie brought to the game.

"Um what is that?"

"What do you think it is?" Callie asked taking one of Arizona's hands using it to let her figure it out for herself.

"Oh, um, ah I know what it is Callie," she retorted.

"What's wrong baby?" Callie asked sweetly placing gentle kisses along her girlfriend's bare neck.

"Nothing is wrong," she answered, "I've just never used toys before."

"Never?" Callie asked sardonically.

"No, never. I prefer to think of myself more as a...organic lesbian," Arizona informed her lover.

"Organic lesbian?" Callie asked situating herself on top of Arizona the toy situated between them intimately.

"Yeah I consider my mouth, my hands, and my body to be my God given toys," she chuckled nervously feeling the toy pressing against her.

"I don't think that is why you are hesitant," Callie said slowly rocking her hips so the artificial phallus placed pressure on Arizona's ache.

"W-w-what do you think it is then?" she stammered. Callie took Arizona's blind fold off so she could look directly at Arizona.

"I think it is because you don't feel like the one in control," she said boring into Arizona's eyes with her own.

"But I'm not," she groaned as Callie started rotating her hips.

"Of course you are," Callie asserted. Callie snuck her hand down between them after creating some distance between their bodies. She grasped the phallus using it to stroke through Arizona's moist heat.

"Oh god," came Arizona's reply.

"The bottom is always the one in control," Callie knowingly said. Hearing the word "bottom" made the type A control freak in Arizona totally bristle like a blow fish.

"Bottom," Arizona said disdainfully.

"Bottom," her lover repeated, "Think about it. If you tell me to stop..." Callie continued stroking Arizona with the tip.

"You'll stop," she said.

"Mmm hmm. If you say go faster," Callie said using the tip to stroke her faster.

"You'll go faster," she gasped.

"That's right. If you say harder," Callie punctuated the statement pushing the tip against Arizona's swollen nub.

"You'll go harder," she said quickly, "Oh god Callie just do it." Not needing to be told twice Callie moved to Arizona's opening positioning the tip of the toy phallus at her entrance. She pushed in gently to gage Arizona's readiness. Callie didn't need to worry because Arizona was so wet that the toy slide in with ease. Arizona gasped at the sensation of being filled.

"You okay?" Callie asked looking at her in concern. She shouldn't have worried because the look of lust on Arizona's face told her all she ever needed to know.

"It feels so good, Callie," she softly reassured her concerned lover.

"Okay," she answered before fully resting her weight on top of Arizona. She kissed Arizona's swollen mouth giving her a moment to adjust to the toy. Arizona kissed Callie back hard. She took control of the kiss dictating to Callie when she could use her tongue and how. She ran her hands all over Callie's back before finally resting them on her hips. She tugged on Callie's hops indicating the desire for more. Arizona couldn't possibly know how intoxicating everything was to Callie or how aroused Callie was because all the attention had been on her. Callie didn't know if she could outlast Arizona at the rate things were going and the nudge of her hips had Callie seeing stars. Taking a deep, steadying breath, Callie started moving the toy inside of Arizona in a slow, deep rhythm. Arizona was a little bit shocked at how amazing being penetrated so deeply felt. It almost made her question her sexuality for about two seconds before dismissing the notion. Her body responded on auto pilot meeting Callie's thrusts with her own. Callie clenched her teeth together tightly feeling the toy bump against her intimately as Arizona pushed back. She buried her head in the crook of the blond's neck in an attempt to concentrate so she wouldn't come before Arizona. Arizona grabbed a fistful of hair in her hands tugging it to get the brunette's attention. When she did, Callie was pulled down for a primal kiss. Tongues clashed wildly together. Moans from one woman were swallowed by the mouth of the other and vice versa. They kissed until they were out of breath. Callie couldn't help but increase the pace of her hips driving into Arizona deeper and harder. Any worries she may have had that she was hurting the blond beneath her vanished when Arizona gave as good as she got. Arizona's mouth was right by Callie's ear, and she used that opportunity to tell Callie exactly how she was feeling.

"You feel so good inside of me Callie," Arizona commented wantonly, "I love the way you fuck me...it's so good." The pressure built up so much Callie couldn't contain it anymore. Her hips were moving out of control, and so were Arizona's. The toy pressed against over, and over again. Arizona rotated her hips in such a way causing her to lose her tenuous grip on her concentration and she lost it. She bit into the tender flesh of Arizona's shoulder to muffle her cries of pleasure as her orgasm erupted like a volcano spewing hot lava across her body. It was so and intense and hot that Callie was momentarily paralyzed. She panted trying to catch her breath as the fire burned a path through her body leaving her feeling weak. Callie was hoping she could recover enough that Arizona wouldn't notice but she wasn't fast enough. Although it took a moment, Arizona did realize that Callie had stopped moving.

"Callie," she said softly wondering if this was another part of the tease but Callie didn't appear as if she heard.

"Callie," she said more sharply. Callie tried to hide her guilt with indifference but the astute blond wasn't buying it. Looking at the flush spread across the brunette's face, Arizona was somewhat confused by what she thought she saw.

"Callie," she said trying to catch her eye, "Wait. Did you just?" she questioned. Callie dropped her head groaning pitifully in response.

"You did, didn't you," Arizona playfully accused, "You just came didn't you?"

"Yes," came the meek reply from Callie. Arizona laughed in response.

"What's so funny?" Callie demanded.

"You are just like a man," she laughed again.

"Uh how so?" the brunette wondered.

"To ah...come prematurely, leaving the woman high but not so dry," she joked.

"Well there is one big difference between me and a man," Callie said in a purr.

"Do tell," Arizona quipped.

"I'm still hard," she said hotly against Arizona's mouth resuming the thrusts of her hips.

"Ohhh," she responded, "Good point."

"Knew you'd see things my way," was Callie arrogant response.

"Would you just shut up and fuck me already," Arizona commanded.

"Yes ma'am," she answered wryly increasing the pace going faster and faster. At time, she would pull out all the way so the tip was poised at Arizona's entrance then she would drive into her until they were flush against one another. Arizona kept her eyes tightly shut the entire time Callie worked her magic. The closer she got, the more she wanted to feel Callie close to her so she wrapped her arms around Callie's midsection trapping them together. Callie could tell how much her girlfriend was enjoying herself and that her special moment was fast approaching. So she began whispering naughty things in her ear to help push her over the edge.

"I knew you'd like being fucked like this," she whispered seductively, "It is so hot seeing you like this."

"Calliope, you feel so good baby," was Arizona's reply.

"You like being fucked by my cock don't you?" she said with some rapid, shallow thrusts, "Don't you?"

"Yesss," Arizona hissed, "Don't stop. Don't ever stop."

"I won't baby," she said reassuringly. She didn't stop but she add some rotation of her hops to stimulate Arizona's clit as well.

"Ooohhh just like that Callie," she cried out in pleasure. Not long after that, Arizona's orgasm jolted through her like electricity causing her to arch her back off the bed, then crashing back down as the after shocks coursed throughout her body. Even the tips of her hair felt fried. Callie slowed her movements eventually coming to a stand still pressing butterfly kisses all over Arizona's sweaty face and neck until she rejoined the land of the living.

"Holy shit, Calliope," the satiated woman exclaimed, "That was amazing!" Callie looked at her girlfriend with a mischievous

gleam in her eyes.

"Who said it's over yet?" she asked pulling Arizona with her as she rolled over so that she was now the "bottom."

"Whoa," Arizona said feeling self-conscious being in this position.

"Keep going," Callie encouraged. Arizona looked at Callie with doubts in her eyes before responding.

"I'm not exactly sure what to do," she admitted shyly. In response to her admission, Callie grasped her waist using her hands to guide her in a sensual rocking motion.

"Oh," Arizona replied catching on, "Ooohhh," she repeated huskily as the shaft pressed against her stimulating her swollen bud. The rocking motion was also pleasing to Callie as well, and she sighed in appreciation.

"That feels good to you too Calliope?" Arizona asked in genuine wonder.

"Of course it feels good seeing my hot, sexy woman get herself off on top of me."

"It's hot being able to watch my sexy, hot girlfriend get off period." Arizona emphasized her point pressing hard into Callie. Callie reached up to touch Arizona's bobbing breasts, and perky nipples to give more pleasure. Her mouth watered to taste the rosy buds so she sat up putting her arms around Arizona's waist so she could use her mouth and tongue on Arizona's nipples. She lavished attention to each nipple flicking it rapidly with her tongue before sucking it hard into her mouth. When she was done, she instructed Arizona to lean back on her hands while she did the same. She nudged her hips into Arizona encouraging her to do the same. Arizona took the hint and the women were seen engaged in a carnal see sawing action. After awhile, Arizona sat back up but before Callie could respond, she was being pushed down onto the bed by a hand planted firmly on the center of her chest. She held her down as she continued to grind herself against the base of the toy. Arizona was riding Callie fast and hard completely lost in and loving all the new sensations. She was so into it that she used her own hands to knead and massage her breasts.

"Fuck Arizona," Callie said intently watching what her girlfriend was doing. Arizona smiled sexily loving the effect she was having on Callie. She'd never felt so free or alive before in her life.

"I'm really close," Callie informed.

"Me too," Arizona said abandoning her breasts to lean over Callie. Callie tried to close her eyes in anticipation of her orgasm but a gentle request stopped her.

"Don't?" Arizona asked, "Don't you dare close your eyes." Callie's eyes snapped open to find herself swimming in the sea blue eyes of her girlfriend. The words and the intimacy Arizona was asking for was th final blow to the barricade around her heart. Callie saw Arizona standing on a mountain of rubble that once was the wall that she built around herself for protection. Arizona was watching everything play out across Callie's beautiful face. In the end, Callie's eyes shone with an emotion Arizona couldn't quite place. She quickly forgot about what it was as she watched Callie struggling.

"Arizona," she said through gritted teeth as a warning that she was close.

"Go ahead Calliope," she whispered, "Let me see you." Callie grabbed Arizona's hips maneuvering the smaller woman on top of her in such a way that would finally bring about her release.

They never broke eye contact as Callie experienced her second orgasm. It was for th most part muffled due to the fact that Callie was biting on her lip to force herself to keep her eyes open as her orgasm spread slowly through her body like a wild forest fire. It was long, and it was intense and Arizona saw it all. When it abated, it was Callie's turn to watch in awe. Arizona wasn't as quiet letting out little "oh's," as she raced towards the finish line after Callie.

"Callie," she cried out feeling herself explode into a million pieces from her core outwards. She collapsed in a heap on top of Callie from the intensity of it all. Both women had knowingly stripped themselves bare for the other to see. It was extremely powerful, gut wrenchingly intense, and beautifully intimate. Callie was overcome with feeling causing tears to stream from her eyes as her heart felt more than she could ever possibly dream.

"You're shaking," Arizona said noticing the tremors coming from below her as she was lying on top of Callie. Callie was too over run with feeling to say anything back. Arizona finally raised up to see what was going on. It was then she noticed her girlfriend in tears.

"Hey, hey, hey," she said tenderly wiping away the tears with her thumbs.

"I'm not," Callie stammered at a loss for words, "These are good tears...It's just more each time ya know?"

"Okay," she replied sympathetically. She delicately extricated herself off of Callie allowing her the chance to remove the strap on. Callie got up from the bed padding silently into the bathroom. She washed the toy off buying herself some time to compose her thoughts. She was in love with Arizona, that much she knew for certain but she was also reticent about expressing those feelings because she'd been hurt by love before. Her heart knew deep down that there were similarities between being in love with Arizona and the last time she was in love. It was those similarities that would hold Callie back. When she walked back into the bedroom, Arizona was lying under the covers with her hands under her head. She held open the covers inviting Callie in. Callie climbed in the bed into Arizona's awaiting arms. The steady beat of Arizona's heart comforted her.  
>"I've never done anything like that before," Callie admitted softly glad for the anonymity the darkness provided.<p>

"A night of first then, huh?" the blond commented wryly referencing her first time using toys of any kind.

"You could say that," Callie answered lightly. Arizona swept her hands up and down Callie's back in a soft caress.

"Callie?"

"Hmm?"

"You bring out things in me that I never would've dreamed of doing myself," she began, "How do you do that?"

"It's just a feeling I have about you," she replied earnestly, "You're so controlled about everything in your life but deep down I get the feeling there's another part of you that just wants to be set free."

"Hmm," she answered deep in thought, "Maybe."

"Well," she yawned sleepily, "I'm just glad you're receptive."

"Me too," she said kissing the top of Callie's head.

"Ohh and happy birthday," she said in a voice infused with sleep.

"Best birthday ever," she whispered to her sleeping lover.

After Arizona's birthday, something changed between them. Callie realized she loved the perky pediatric surgeon so she tried to pull Arizona closer. However, it seemed like the more Callie tried, the more Arizona seemed to be fading away from her. Callie scrutinized everything that transpired between them, and she realized that it actually started way before Arizona's birthday. It started with the insane sex they'd been having. It was one of the ways that Arizona was trying to distract herself from her problems. The thing was, Callie had no idea what to do in order to help Arizona work through it. Deep down, she feared the day would come soon that Arizona would find herself in need of the services that brought her into Callie's life in the first place. Callie prayed that day would never come. But you know sometimes God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.

Although she was expecting it, she was not prepared for the reality of that day. She was blindsided by it because she had let her guard down. It had been a really good day for her. She actually managed to perform a simple but effective repair on a dislocated shoulder in the operating room without so much as a ghost of a flashback or any anxiety whatsoever. She was feeling exhilarated, and confident that she was back to being the top notch surgeon she used to be until she went to Iraq. She wanted nothing more than to share her joy with the woman she loved, but it was on one of the days the two women had agreed to spend apart. She tried to call Arizona on her phone but she wasn't answering. That alone didn't alarm her because being a surgeon meant that sometimes you weren't available to answer the phone so she left a message. She stopped by a wine shop and purchased the most expensive bottle of champagne she could find intending on celebrating her victory with a tall glass of bubbly. She drove home, pulling up to the curb. Exiting the car with her purchase, she was half way up the stairs when she saw the lifeless body of her girlfriend huddled against the cement wall of her porch.

"Arizona," she said more as a plea than anything else. Upon hearing her name, Arizona managed to look up. Callie was so shocked by what she saw, and the dread she felt that the champagne bottle slipped from her grip crashing into a million shards of glass upon the concrete.

"Oh god, no," she said not wanting to believe the sight before her. Unfortunately in this situation, seeing was believing. The day had arrived. The beast was back.

**AN: So there will be no more NSFW parts in the story! I'm just curious as to how you all feel about the sex parts of this story. Loved it, hated it...which one was your favorite. Let me know. Plus, let me know how you feel the direction of the story should go. If I like it, and can work it in, I will. To those of you that celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope you have the best day ever. I am thankful for everyone who has read this story, and am extremely thankful to those of you who were kind enough to leave a review. Go eat some turkey:)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: Love Bites, Love Bleeds**

"Arizona," she called out again when she didn't initially get any response the first time. Bending down, she tilted Arizona's face up giving her no choice but to meet Callie's questioning eyes. The look on Arizona's face stunned Callie so much that she lost her balance. She fell back bracing herself on one hand before she lost her balance totally. Of course, she'd seen the vacant, haunted look before but nothing prepares you to bear witness to it when it is on the face of the woman you are in love with. Callie was at a loss as what to do. She snapped out of her stupor by Arizona hoarsely calling her name.

"What is it honey?" she asked snapping to attention.

"Help me," she said weakly reaching out a hand. Callie clutched it tightly in her own.

"What can I do?" she offered her voice full of emotion. Arizona struggled to her feet. Callie stood up using her hand to support her girlfriend while she stood. The broken blond stood on wobbly legs using Callie as leverage until she was able to make it on her own. She kept hold of Callie's hand tugging her along.

"Where are we going?" Callie wondered. Arizona didn't respond, she just kept walking along the sidewalk until it was apparent to Callie exactly where she was headed. Callie pulled her hand away abruptly as if she just touched a burning pan.

"No," she said with conviction, "Anything but that."

"Please," Arizona begged in a tortured voice, "You said you wanted to help."

"Anything but that," Callie returned feeling dread at the request.

"Nothing else works!" she cried collapsing in a head on the steps leading up to Velvet, "I don't want to feel dead anymore."

"You don't know what you are asking," Callie protested trying to make Arizona see how unreasonable she was being in light of their relationship.

"I thought I was asking for help," she replied in a voice completely devoid of hope, "If you cared, you would help." Callie's head snapped around at the mere mention of Arizona questioning the feelings she had for her girlfriend. Her nostrils flared, clearly incensed. She shook her head trying to free herself from lashing out in response.

"_I can't believe she just said that to me,"_ Callie said to herself in disbelief while trying to take deep breaths in preparation for what she was about to do, _"I hope she is prepared to get exactly what she is asking for and then some."_

"Get up," she said with quiet force, "I said GET UP." Arizona blinked as the understanding washed over her.

"Move," Callie ordered brusquely indicating that she wanted Arizona to get going. She followed behind Callie like an eager puppy ecstatic to find some relief.

"Callie," she said tentatively wanting to verbalize her gratitude. Callie stopped on the steps leading to the dungeon. Without turning around she said, "That's going to cost you, pet," in reference to Arizona's break of protocol. Her tone was so icy cold it actually made Arizona shiver.

"Yes ma'am," Arizona replied tenuously.

"So you do remember," Callie said in approval, "Good." She continued down the stairs opening the first dungeon that she came to. Standing at the door, she gave her instructions.

"Get undressed, and wait for me like a good little girl," she said, "I'll be back and I really hope to god you are ready for me my little pet." Callie quickly shut the door. She double over at the waist grasping her stomach quell the churning acid in the pit of her belly. Callie was self aware enough to know that this encounter with the woman she loved would not leave her unscathed, so she went to her office to call in support. Once that task was complete, she changed into comfortable clothing not even bothering with the pretenses anymore. She hurried back to the dungeon in fear that she would back out, but she had one last gift to deliver to her girlfriend. Pausing at the door, she had to take several deep breaths to stop herself from hyperventilating. She needed to gather her wits about her or else she could really end up damaging Arizona physically. Once she was confident that Arizona would be safe from her, she swung the door open with a loud, metallic bang causing Arizona to jump noticeably from her position on the carpet. She was kneeling on the rug with her back to Callie wearing only her bra and panties. Callie deviated from their normal routine by passing the degradation part where she'd clip the collar to her neck after forcing her to kiss her feet. She'd make herself do what Arizona wanted but she would never willingly take part in degrading the woman she was in love with. She marched past Arizona to the spanking bench.

"Come here," she ordered. Arizona sprang to her feet to do Callie's bidding. She positioned herself on the bench remembering the way Callie put her before. Callie clipped Arizona's hands in the soft restraints in front of her. She also used a blind fold to obscure part of Arizona's face and eyes because she was afraid her resolve would fail her if she had to see Arizona's beautiful face.

"Do you remember the rules," she asked.

"Yes ma'am," came the soft response.

"What's your safe word?"

"Donuts ma'am," the kneeling woman replied.

"You know when to use it?" Callie continued interrogating her to make certain Arizona knew what to do in case she needed an out.

"Yes ma'am," was the meek response she got.

"Good," Callie murmured slightly distracted as she looked at her tools on the wall wanting to select the perfect one. Her goal for this session was to give Arizona something she would never be able to erase from her mind. She was determined to make Arizona use her safe word so there was no usual warm up period. Callie brought the quirts viper down as hard as she could on the exposed creamy skin without drawing blood. Arizona, who was not expecting so much force, cried out which was exactly what Callie wanted. This was Callie's last chance to make an impression on her girlfriend so she brought the viper down with the same force and velocity eliciting a vocal response each time until it became less and less then none. Once Arizona was accustomed to the pain, and no longer making a sound, Callie switched tactics using something else. This went on, and on until Callie had blown through her entire collection of torturous devices. Trying to break her girlfriend was a last ditch effort to save her, save their relationship. But it was futile because it wasn't in the daughter of a Marine's DNA to yield. It was then that Callie resolved to go through with her worst nightmare. She looked over Arizona's body one last time, and was numb to what she saw. Arizona's body was mess of red lines, welts, bruises and streaks criss crossing from Arizona's shoulders to her knees. Callie even drew blood a few times which went against Arizona's directives.

_"Oh well,she could've always used her safe word," _ Callie tried to justify her actions internally.

"We're done here," she said coldly after releasing the bound woman from her restraints. Arizona was a battered but satisfied lump of coal.

"Thank you ma'am," she croaked hoarsely.

_"Don't thank me yet,"_ Callie thought, "_Don't thank me yet." _ She left the room to get herself together. She returned to her office to retrieve a thick manila envelope returning to the dungeon to wait for Arizona on the couch. She was only there a little while before Arizona came out of the bathroom born again. The smile she gave Callie was so radiant and beautiful it nearly made Callie double over in pain. It hurt that much to look at Arizona. She was at war with herself vacillating between what her heart desired and what her brain was telling her was best for her.

"Calliope," Arizona said in a voice that would rival any of God's hosts of heavenly angels. Callie's hand shot up letting Arizona know not to say anymore.

"We need to talk," she said seriously.

"Uh oh," the blond joked nervously, "Nothing good ever came from 'We need to talk."

"Sit down, Arizona," Callie said ignoring the attempt to deflect from the topic at hand.

Arizona was definitely on alert so she sat down on the edge of the couch. Callie fidgeted nervously in the edge of her seat as well. Pulling on her big girl panties, Callie spoke.

"This will _never_ happen again," Callie said with conviction.

"But Callie, you can't..." She tried to reply but was cut off.

"Arizona," she interrupted, "How do you feel?"

"What do you mean?" she asked confused by the shift in topics.

"It is a simple question that I am asking but I will ask it again. How do you feel?" Callie asked in such a way that she seemed genuinely interested.

"I feel..." she paused searching her vocabulary for the perfect word, "I feel alive." Callie close her eyes against the sting she felt.

"I'm glad you feel alive, Arizona," she commented, "I really am but I wonder if you even stopped to consider how I might feel?"

"What do you mean?" she responded her confusion growing.

"You're not my client anymore," Callie pointed out, "You are my girlfriend and did it ever cross you mind how it might make _me_ feel to do that to you." She choked up unable to continue for a moment. Arizona waited for her girlfriend to continue.

"The last thing I feel after that is 'alive,' Arizona. In fact, I think a little piece of my heart died with each blow," she told her girlfriend with bitterness laced in each word.

"Callie," she started hesitantly, "You helped me in a way that no one else could. That is a good thing." Arizona's attempt to assuage Callie's guilt only incensed the brunette more.

"Good for whom?" she snorted derisively, "Do you even remember why I told you I ended things with Kellie?" Arizona thought for a moment before replying.

"Yeah," she answered, "You said it wasn't good for you and you couldn't hurt someone you..." the realization finally slammed into her like a ton of bricks.

"Love," Callie finished for her, "I love you, Arizona and I can't do this to you anymore.

"Callie I," Arizona faltered for the right thing to say.

"You don't have to say anything," Callie assured her softly, "I just wanted you to know that I am in love with you. After Kellie, I just figured I'd always be alone. Sure I dated but even then I was still lonely." Giving Arizona a shaky smile, she continued, "Then you came into my life like a tornado, making a mess of my life but suddenly out of all this chaos, I didn't feel alone in this world anymore. You made me want things I never even dreamed of yet. I could see us as two old ladies rocking on our porch arguing over where you put your teeth only to realize the damn things were already in your mouth." Both women chuckled at the image.

"I want that with you too," Arizona told the other doctor.

"I believe that you think that is what you want," Callie conceded, "But we can't keep going on this way."

"What way?" she replied her voice raising in panic.

"This way," Callie gestured with her hands, "I can't keep going on pretending everything is fine between us when I know that it's not. I can no longer ignore that you are suffering over something to the point where you feel like self-mutilation is the only thing that can help."

"It's not like I am doing it on purpose!" Arizona replied defensively.

"I know that," Callie said gently looking into troubled blue eyes, "I do but this relationship can only fail as long as whatever is going on with you is standing directly in between us.

"What are you saying?" she asked totally in panic mode at the thought of losing Callie.

"I'm saying that you can't give yourself to me completely as long as something has a death grip on your heart, and I..." she struggled on her words as her heart lodged itself in her throat, and tears pooled in her soulful, coffee colored eyes, "And I can't be with you totally and completely like I want to if I am always worried about what might set you off to the point that you need to be beaten in order to feel 'alive."

"Then I will stop," Arizona said imploringly.

"That won't fix it, don't you see?" Callie said adamantly, "It will still be there."

"What do you want me to do," she said desperately, "Tell me Calliope and I will do it. I will."

"I can't tell you what you need to do. It has to come from you. I can't only tell you want I need," she answered truthfully.

"Tell me what you need?" Arizona asked on the verge of begging.

"I can't say no to you, and if we kept going the way things are I know that I'd eventually end up harboring feelings of resentment towards you until it usurped any positive feelings I had for you at all," she replied regretfully. Callie suddenly remembered the envelope she held in her lap. She held it out to Arizona indicating with a nod that it was indeed for her.

"I called in a favor from a friend of mine and was able to get the details from your brother's last mission," she explained to an astonished woman. Arizona's jaw slackened and her eyes widened in response to what she held in her hands.

"How long have you had this?' she asked slightly suspiciously.

"Awhile," she admitted apologetically, "I protect the things that I love so me not giving it to you was my way of trying to protect you but I realized that I can't protect you from yourself no matter how much I might want to." Arizona held the envelope gently as if it were dust being threatened to be kidnapped by an errant breeze. She had so many questions and the answers were literally being handed to her. She didn't know what to do or what to say.

"I don't know what to say," she stammered.

"Then don't say anything at all then. Consider this as my final gift."

"Final?" she protested, "Callie no please, please don't do this." Decorum was gone, and although her father would hate to see her like this, Arizona resorted to begging.

"Give me a chance to change, please," she pleaded tearfully, "I can change." Callie got up from the couch. Arizona stood as well grabbing Callie's arm to prevent her from walking away from her.

"Don't do this to me," she said through now gut wrenching sobs, "Don't leave me too, don't." Callie couldn't stop the sobs she'd been valiantly struggling to contain joining in on Arizona's misery. The two women found their way to each other in their ocean of grief clinging to each other like a life saving piece of debris or driftwood until eventually the storm subsided into the strange calm that comes after such a destructive force. Arizona decided she needed to take one final shot.

"I don't want to be without you, Calliope," she said intensely. Callie brushed a stray hair away from Arizona's face cupping her chin gently in her hand.

"Nor I you," she said placing a heartfelt kiss on Arizona's lips hoping against all hopes it wouldn't be the last but trying to memorize the feeling of Arizona's lips on her in case it was the last time. She reluctantly broke the kiss but Arizona grabbed her arm keeping her in her spot resting her forehead against Callie's.

"Then don't leave me," she begged in a whisper, "We can work this out together. I know we can." The tenacity and conviction in her plea sent Callie's heart sprinting in a marathon towards a goal of hope and joy. She couldn't help wanting to try once more.

"Can you look me in the eyes and tell me to my face that I will never, ever come here to find you on my steps again begging me to beat you?" Arizona simultaneously looked down in shame while releasing her grip on Callie's arm as well. She wanted to give her what she asked for. She thought she might be able to deliver but Callie deserved certainty.

"Can you?" Callie asked again. Arizona shook her head sadly still unable to look her lover in the eyes. She couldn't face the torment she knew she would see, and know that she was the cause of on the brunette's pretty face. Callie stepped backwards automatically as if she were slapped.

"Then I need to walk away from you while I still can," she said continuing to back away. She watched the emotions play out on Arizona's face like a bad move. The theme of the movie seemed to be regret. She finally ripped her gaze away turning around at the door. She grabbed the handle swinging the door open quickly before she lost her nerve. Taking one step out the door, she heard moans coming from Arizona that sounded like a wild, wounded animal.

"I'm going to walk away," she repeated to Arizona to get her attention before adding, "But it's up to you to say how far...at least for awhile. See yourself out." Callie closed the door quietly behind her. She forces herself to pick up one leaden foot after another forcing herself to move away from the wailing sobs coming out of Arizona. Her legs carried her until she was safely behind the closed doors of the elevator. Only then did the finality of the situation catch up with her bringing her harshly to her knees.

Meanwhile, Arizona laid in the cold dungeon feeling desolate and alone. She didn't think it would ever be possible to feel more pain that when her brother died, but of course she was wrong.

_"Pain let's you know you're alive,"_ came her father's stern voice in her head.

_"I'm definitely alive then,"_ she thought bitterly. She picked herself up physically as well as emotionally making her way to the exit. She pushed the door open to the bright, but fading light of the sun. The brightness hurt her eyes so she raised an arm to shield them from the harsh light.

_"Even the sun hurts when you get too much,"_ ran through her head.

_"I'm like the sun," _she thought morosely thinking about the extent of pain and suffering she unwittingly inflicted on the woman she loved.

_"The woman I love,"_ she continued her internal monologue, _"I love her and I never even told her."_ She stumbled across the street to her car. Her feet felt like they were glued to the pavement and by the time she reached her car, she was utterly exhausted. Unbeknown-est to her another person was observing her from a distance. Kellie initially saw the blond doctor wanting to call out a greeting until she saw the wasteland of devastation painted all over Arizona's face. She watched Arizona fumble her way to her car until she was distracted by the opening of a door. She brought her attention to Callie who was standing shakily in the door way to her home. She noted the similar destruction in the swollen, redness and smeared make up streaked all over her face. She looked from one woman to another trying to figure out what was going. And then she realized.

"Oh Dr. Robbins," she said under her breath, "What have you done?" She understood now why Callie asked her to come over. Pushing her sleeves up to her elbows, she made her way across the street to her friend trying to prepare herself to deal with the aftermath of Arizona's storm. Reaching Callie, taking it all in, Kellie realized that nothing could possible prepare her for what was to come.

**AN: Long delay, short chapter, I know but what do you guys think? Let me know. Thank you all for your wonderful reviews, & for putting me on all kinds of alerts. This story is rapidly coming to an end. It's been a long journey, and I promise you guys that it will be done by the end of this year, so keep checking back for updates and always reviews are greatly appreciated.**

**Happy Holidays, **

**Sherri**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do**

Kellie approached Callie's door with caution. Callie turned without a word into her house. Kellie closed the door following behind. Taking a seat next to Callie on the couch, she waited without saying a word for Callie to speak. She hoped her presence would offer some comfort to her friend. After awhile, Callie broke the silence.

"I ended things with Arizona," she said numbly.

"So I gathered," Kellie said to comfort, "What happened?"

"You want to know what happened?" she answered getting revved up, "I am an idiot that's what happened!"

"That's not true," her friend countered.

"Yes it is! It is so true," she emphasized, "And you want to know why? Because this time I knew exactly what I was getting into and I went in head first anyway."

"What are you trying to say?" the senator questioned trying to fit the pieces in place.

"She used pain as a way to forget her issues just like you did," she said in a rush without thinking about the impact it would have on her friend, "After you, I swore I would never get myself in a situation where I had to compromise myself by hurting the person I love. I knew she was like you and I still let myself fall for her." When she finished her tirade, she turned to look at the senator expecting a comment. Instead, she was met with a visibly ashen, pain stricken face of her friend. She did a mental rewind playing back in her head what she might have said in her haste to cause such a reaction.

"Oh Kellie," she said regretfully but before she could apologize further, Kellie held up a hand silencing her.

"You don't have to apologize," she said quietly, "It's actually very humbling for me to be able to see how my actions hurt you. I wouldn't have been able to see it then as I am now."

"I was a wreck," Callie said remembering.

"I can't do anything about the past but I can be here for you now," Kellie offered.

"I am going to need it," Callie said gratefully feeling her heart splintering into a million pieces as she realized the loss of Arizona.

"What's wrong with me?" she cried, "I thought she was the one that I would spend the rest of my life with," she sobbed. Kellie placed a pillow onto her lap pulling Callie over so she was laying with her head on the pillow.

"Nothing is wrong with you," she said fiercely, "You are an amazing woman and you deserve all the love and happiness this world has to offer." Kellie stroked Callie's head in a gesture meant to be comforting respecting Callie's grief by not offering hollow words of comfort. After awhile Callie's sobs subsided into the gasps that come after such an arduous display of emotions.

"What am I going to do?" she whispered in a daze.

"You're going to take it one day at a time, sweetie," Kellie suggested.

"I can't go to the hospital," she said shooting up off the couch with a wild look in her eyes, "I can't go to work. I can't face her. I just can't." Kellie grabbed the panic stricken woman's hands to calm her down.

"Then you take tomorrow off," she replied calmly, "You have leave built up right?" Callie nodded mutely.

"You call in, then you reassess how you feel about work after that, okay?" she said trying to be reasonable.

"Okay," Callie answered numbly agreeing to the plan.

"And right now, you are going to go wash your face while I open a bottle of wine because I am sure you don't feel up to eating," she said knowingly. Callie grimaced at the thought of eating.

"I figured as much," Kellie said noting the look of distaste evident on Callie's face at the mention of food, "Go on. Go wash your face."

Kellie waited patiently for Callie to return but when she didn't, Kellie went in search of her friend. Callie was sitting on her bed with two boxes.

"What are you doing sweetie?" she asked out of curiosity,

"I'm putting away anything that reminds me of Arizona in this box," she replied pointing at the box which consisted of things like dried flowers from their first date, ticket stubs, pictures, and the baseball gear, "And this is stuff that needs to be returned to her."

"Do you need any help?" she asked gently.

"Nope,"Callie said tossing the flower from her nightstand into the box, "Actually you can."

"Whatever you need," Kellie replied graciously.

"Take that box and hide it somewhere where I will never, ever find it."

"You got it," Kellie answered picking up the box and walking out of the room with it. She contemplated tossing the entire contents of the box out with the garbage but decided that was not her decision to make in case Callie needed the box to help her gain a sense of composure. She took it out to the storage shed burying it deep within the dark recesses of the small building. Satisfied, she made the right decision, she went back to check on her friend. She found Callie curled up in a ball hugging her pillow like a child frightened of a thunderstorm. The sight tore out her heart. She climbed up next to Callie encircling the distraught woman in her arms. Callie released the pillow opting for the physical comfort a warm body offers. Her grief engulfed her as tears and sobs came unbidden. She lost her thin grip of control. Kellie did the only thing she could do. She held her grief stricken friend, and she held on tightly until the sobs morphed into snores. She untangled herself from her friend, covered her with a blanket, and made her way to Callie's guest bedroom. She didn't want to be too far form her friend in case she woke up in the middle of the night and needed her. Kellie still harbored a lot of guilt over how things went down between the two of them. It was kind of ironic to her seeing Callie similarly devastated. Sighing with guilt and regret, she settled herself into bed committed to atone for all her transgressions she perpetrated against her former lover.

Callie awoke the next morning with a splitting headache. Squinting her eyes against the harsh sun light, she spied aspirin, water, and a note left on her night stand. She quickly said a prayer of thanks for Kellie's foresight before downing the pills. Apparently, Kellie had called into work for her that chore was already checked off her list. Since she didn't have to be anywhere, or do anything, Callie decided that the only reason she would get out of her bed was when mother nature called. She was only responsible for herself. That thought, like an albatross around her neck, drug her down deeper in the murky depths of depression. Pulling her covers over her head, Callie shut the world and everyone with it out.

On the opposite side of town, Arizona left herself no choice other tan to carry on putting one foot in front of the other. She managed to drag herself to work hoping she'd catch a glimpse of Callie. Disappointment was the feeling she carried with her the entire day after learning that Callie called in sick. Putting one foot in front of the other, she managed to make it through the day without killing anyone. She politely declined drinks with the crew in favor of going back to her apartment. Since Callie had practically been living there, hints of her former lover ghosted the apartment providing the only comfort Arizona would allow herself. She used Callie's shampoo and soap to wash with and when she was done, she put on Callie's pajamas. Taking herself to bed, she hugged Callie's pillow drowning in her scent failing miserably to trick herself into thinking Callie was in the bed with her. She almost had herself convinced. But Arizona was too smart for almost.

Kellie returned to Callie's townhouse later that evening to find her still buried deep under the layers of covers and sheets. She gently pulled the covers down.

"Hey there," she said softly, "How are you holding up?"

"I've been better," Callie said trying to clear her throat since she hadn't spoken a word all day.

"Have you eaten anything today?" Kellie wondered. Callie shook her head.

"What about drinks? Have you had anything to drink today?" Kellie expounded further.

"Other than the water you left me, nope," Callie answered.

"Look," the senator said sternly, "You are entitled to lay in bed all day without bathing or changing. Get as funky as you want. Don't feel like eating, fine but at the very least you need to keep yourself hydrated."

"I know you are right," she replied sheepishly, "But to tell you the truth, I can't recall one single thought I've had today. It's almost like amnesia."

"Yeah well that is your brain's way of protecting you from pain that that is no excuse!" Kellie admonished bringing herself back to the topic at hand.

"I'll drink more often," Callie promised.

"Scouts honor," Kellie replied.

"Um, I never was a girl scout but sure why not," came Callie's reply.

"I'm going to get you something to drink," she announced, "I'll be right back." Kellie came back with a gallon of spring water, a large cup filled with ice, and a steaming cup of chicken and stars soup. Callie looked apprehensively at the soup.

"It's a liquid and you gave me your word," Kellie said seeing the skepticism on Callie's face.

"Damn politicians," Callie muttered underneath her breath reluctantly allowing her friend to place the tray on her lap.

"That's why you never argue with a politician," she smirked.

"Who also happens to be a lawyer," the Latina replied before dipping into the soup.

"Who is all of the above, plus a woman!" Kellie said one upping her friend.

"I never had a chance did I?"

"Nope, you really didn't," she responded with a laugh, "So next time, just cut to the chase and do what I want you to, okay?" For the first time in over 24 hours, Callie felt like smiling. Although the feeling was fleeting, and didn't carry over into action, it provided Callie with hope that the day might come where she actually would smile again. She ate until Kellie was appeased before pushing the bowl away.

"Do you want to talk about it Callie?" she inquired as if walking on egg shells.

"No, yes, no ugh I don't know!" the brunette replied frustrated.

"Take it easy sweetie. Just take in a deep breath," Kellie demonstrated then waited for Callie to copy, "Good now let it out and try again."

"Yes at some point I do want to talk about it," Callie articulated her thoughts a little more clearly, "But not today."

"Fair enough," she agreed, "The offer will always be on the table."

"Kellie?"

"Hmm?"

"If I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?"

"Of course," Kellie said, "Just let me get changed." So the two women shared a platonic bed passing the time by watching mindless television, talking about the difficulties of being a woman in the political system of the United States. They talked about anything and everything to keep Callie distracted from her pain. Kellie noticed the subtle shift in Callie and knew the distraction had worn off.

Callie stared blankly at the TV as silent tears coursed down her cheeks. Kellie held open her arms in invitation letting Callie choose whether or not she wanted to be comforted. She chose comfort sling gratefully into the awaiting arms of her friend. It was the only thing she could do to keep herself from going completely over the edge into the bleakness she felt looming over hear head like the blade from a guillotine. Callie eventually rolled away to get some sleep and Kellie moved to get up.

"Don't go?" she asked, "I mean I know I'll have to get used to sleeping alone again at some pint but does it have to be this night?"

"No it doesn't," Kellie replied crawling beneath the covers next to Callie.

"Night," the exhausted woman mumbled sleepily.

"Night," the senator whispered in reply.

It was Kelli who wok up in an empty bed this time. She didn't have to wonder for long where Callie went because she returned with a fresh glass of ice and a large glass of orange juice. She held up her items soliciting approval from her friend.

"Gimme a sip of that water wouldja?" Kellie requested. Callie handed it over once she poured some fresh water into it.

"I'm not going to work today," Callie announced, "I think I will go back on Monday."

"Why Monday?" Kellie queried.

"Arizona and I would have started opposite shifts," she told her friend.

"Okay that sounds like a good idea then," Kellie said stretching her arms above her head working out her kinks.

"What are you going to do for the next few days?"

"Wallow," Callie stated plainly.

"Well while you wallow, I'm going to get ready for work. Some of us have a country to run. Mind if I use your shower?"

"Uh let's see, hmm you've seen me naked, I've seen you naked, you've done very naughty things to me and I've done very naughty things to you, you've seem me cry so hard snot was dripping down my chin, and you've slept in my bed for the past two night, why would I mind if you used my bathroom?"

"Ahh I forgot just how fluent you are in sarcasm," Kellie joked. Mentally she was having memories of her and Callie naked doing very naughty things to each other and loving every moment of it.

"Could've done without that stroll down memory lane,"she muttered under her breath. She was going to need a cold shower after that nostalgic detour.

"I'm leaving for work," she announced once she was done, "Call me if you need anything."

"Are you coming back?"

"Do you need me to?" was her response.

"Yes," she sighed in defeat, "Night are hard for me for some reason."

"Then I will be back after work," Kellie replied as if it were no big deal.

"Max won't mind?" she suddenly remembered Kellie's husband.

"Max is out of town on business but I told him what was going on with you."

"Oh. What did he say? Callie wondered. Kellie placed on arm on the bed for balance leaning over Callie.

"He said, 'Take good care of our girl." With that she placed a loving kiss on Callie's forehead and then headed for the concrete jungle.

Arizona awoke on her couch with a stiff neck and back. Sometime during the night, she made her way to the living room determined to rip open the envelope that had been taunting her ever since she had it in her possession. Instead, she stared it down until she must've fallen asleep. Glancing at her watch, she realized she was going to be late for work, and she didn't want to miss her chance to see Callie. Scrambling around, she got dressed, found her keys, and headed to the door. The envelope seemed to be glaring at her and as an after thought, Arizona stuffed the offending thing into her bag. Slinging the bag over her shoulder, she sprinted to work. Unbeknown-est to her, she needn't have rushed to work.

"Hey," Teddy greeted her with a congenial smile, "I hope Callie is not too sick, is she?"

"What?" Arizona replied confused.

"She called in sick again today," Teddy restated, "How sick is she?" Arizona slumped onto the bench in front of her lockers.

"Hey," Teddy said suddenly worried, "What's going on?" Teddy straddled the bench in front of her friend awaiting an explanation.

"She's not sick Teddy," Arizona replied unable to look her friend in the face, "She is avoiding me."

"Did you two have a fight or something?"

"Or something. She broke up with me," Arizona explained. Teddy was unprepared to hear that two women clearly in love and made for each other had broken up.

"I'm so sorry," she told her friend once she had regained her composure, "I thought she was really good for you."

"She was Teddy," she said beginning to cry, "But apparently I'm not good for her."

"That's bullshit," Teddy said leaping the defense of her best friend.

"No it is true," Arizona sadly admitted, "You don't know what happened."

"So tell me Arizona," she urged gently. And so Arizona told her friend everything that lead to the dissolution of their relationship. Teddy listened without judgment offering her support to Arizona unconditionally. She gave Arizona a warm hug meant to be reassuring before each doctor made their way to their respective wards. The end of the day found Arizona once again sitting on her couch with her elbows on her knees, and her head propped up in her hands. She was in the staring contest of a lifetime, and she was determined to win. Her adversary, the envelope she Benedict because eventually the envelope would have no choice but to give up its secrets to her. However, it wasn't going to be tonight because every time she reached for the envelope, it was as if an invisible force field of electricity slapped her hand back.

"Fuck!" she yelled at her inability to open it.

"_What the hell,"_ she silently berated herself, "_I literally have the answers to a lot of my questions but I'm too chicken shit to open the damn envelope."_ Disgusted with herself, she went to bed.

The next few days passed much the same way with each woman in her own private purgatory. Arizona went to work every day only to have her hopes smashed upon learning that Callie called in sick once again. She picked up her phone a hundred times wanting to call but couldn't bring herself to disrespect Callie further. She continued tormenting herself over lacking the emotional fortitude to open an inanimate object. Teddy was her only reprieve checking in on her, and offering her broad shoulders for support. Teddy made things bearable. Almost. Callie continued to wallow only getting out of bed to use the bathroom. Her appetite somewhat returned in that she craved junk food. So, she'd gotten out of bed to stock pile loads of junk food in her room like a squirrel preparing for winter. Kellie continued to come over each night to look after her. Each night she paid her penance providing support to her sad friend. She left early Sunday morning to run some errands, and get a change of clothes. She hoped today might be the day Callie felt better enough to get out of bed. But knowing Callie, she feared it wold take some major tough love to get Callie out of her bed. That or an act of God. Perhaps both.

When she got back, she found Callie elbow deep in a bag of Cheetos. When she pulled the obnoxious snack out of the bag, it appeared as if Callie had neon orange moss growing from each of her fingertips. It was like a nuclear experiment had gone awry!

_"Tough love it is,"_ Kellie said mentally pulling on her big girl panties. She marched over to Callie snatching the bag out of her hands.

"Hey," Callie protested her mouth stuffed full of the offending orange edibles.

"Get up!" Kellie said in a tone that left no room for discussion.

"What, no!" Callie answered belligerently. Kellie snatched the covers off Callie's half erect body. Underneath was another nightmare altogether. Kellie could hear slasher music in her head as she stared at her friend aghast.

"That's, that's, that's it!" she stammered, "You are getting out of this bed, you are going to take a shower, and you are getting out of this house. Today!"

"No I am not," Callie countered, "You're not the boss of me." Kellie arched an eyebrow in disbelief causing Callie to cringe.

_"Oh god it's the eyebrow of doom,"_she thought to herself knowing she really provoked her friend's ire to get the eyebrow of doom.

"Look at your legs," Kellie pointed, "I'm not sure if you are a woman or a freakin' sasquatch!" She pulled the covers completely off the bed intending to throw them in the laundry when she caught whiff of the most noxious odor.

"What's that?" she said sniffing around for the source of the stench, "Oh my god. It is you. Callie you stink!"

"I do not," Callie said sniffing her arm pits defiantly. Kellie noted that her friend turned a distinctive shade of green. Sitting on the very far edge of the bed, she took a little bit of pity on her friend.

"Enough is enough," she said gingerly, "This can't go on anymore. It isn't helping. As long as you stay in this bed, you are in a holding pattern. You can move on."

"I don't want to move forward," Callie said incredulously at her friend's insensitive suggestion.

"I'm not talking about moving forward in another relationship," she clarified, "Give me some credit. I am talking about moving forward in the healing process!" Callie thought about it for awhile and decided that Kellie's logic made sense. Sighing heavily, she got of the bed heading for the bathroom.

"Thatta girl!" Kellie yelled after her. Callie peeped out of her bathroom door with her tooth brush in her hand, tooth past around the edges of her mouth and said, "There was no way I was going to win this fight either, huh?"

"Not a chance," Kellie replied adamantly, "Although I didn't expect you to roll over so easily."

"Hey," she said faking offense, "I'll be out in about 30 minutes."

"Oh no sweetie," Kellie chided, "Have you seen yourself. Take at least an hour."

"Fine, an hour!" the brunette stubbornly agreed. Kellie shooed her friend off then finished stripping the bed. She really thought seriously about burning the bed clothes but put them in the wash before placing fresh, clean sheets on the bed. Callie emerged from the shower freshly scrubbed with some color in her cheeks. Kellie thought she looked beautiful in her simple t-shirt and blue jeans.

"I feel much better," Callie admitted ruefully.

"I knew you would," was the knowing reply from the senator.

"Hey I just got off the phone with Max and he actually had a great suggestion as to what we should do with our day."

"Oh really, what?" Callie asked her interest piqued.

"A different sort of wallowing," she friend answered mysteriously.

"You made me stop wallowing from the comfort of my own home to take me outside to do the same thing?"

"Yes, only this type of wallowing is actually productive!" Kellie said enthusiastically.

"Okayyy," Callie replied not yet buying into what the sneaky politician was trying to sell.

"Just trust me and let's get going," Kellie ushered her friend out of the house, "Max made all the arrangements and I don't want to be late!"

Kellie drove them into the city to the old warehouse district that was currently undergoing urban renovation. There wasn't a sign on the building, and you had to be buzzed in. Sort of like at Velvet. Callie was extremely uneasy knowing how dark dome of her friend's taste ran. When they were buzzed in, they were greeted by a gorgeous young lady named Jessica.

"Welcome to Touch Healing and Wellness Spa," she said congenially, "My name is Jessica and I'm going to make sure you get taken care of."

_"A spa!"_ Callie thought to herself extremely relieved, "_Thank God."_ Jessica explained the company's philosophy and informed then that they were each going to receive the Total Touch package which consisted of a manicure, pedicure, fully body massage, mud bath, and a facial.

"This was a really great idea Max had," Callie told Kellie as they were donning their robes before heading off to their first treatment: the mud bath.

"It is going to be great to have a chance to relax without any interruptions," Kellie agreed since one of the spa's policies was no sort of electronic devices were allowed while utilizing their services.

"And you are in great company," Callie joked.

"Of course," Kellie agreed looping her arm through one of Callie's as they proceeded to the mud room, "Great company indeed!"

After the mud bath and subsequent shower, the two women headed to their full body massages. Callie always knew that muscles store memories in them that can be released through the right physical touch. However, she'd never experienced a release of emotions like she did during her massage. She cried throughout the entire massage as muscle after muscle released memories and feelings. She was pleasantly surprised that she felt oddly refreshed and invigorated instead of the bitter emotional after taste such an emotional event can leave in your mouth. The memories were no longer being stored in her body. Instead, they were just in her mind now. If it was even possible, she felt lighter. Kellie noted her friend's change in demeanor but decided to just be present in the moment instead of interrogating her friend over her change in mood. By the time the women were done, they were washed, waxed, buffed, and shined from the tips of their toes to the tips of their noses. And they were famished. Kellie suggested dinner at Bones but Callie immediately balked at the suggestion.

"Arizona and I wen ton our first official non-date their," she reluctantly explained.

:"Okay so are you going to let memories keep you from going to a place that you love or are you going to take the bull by the horns and make new memories instead?" When that didn't seem to convince Callie, she continued with her pep talk, "The Calliope Ighenia Torres that I knew always grabbed life by the horns with her two hands screaming 'Woohoo what a ride.' Who are you going to be today?"

"I'm, I'm going to get the horn by the bull, no get the bull by my hands, no..ugh you know what I mean and that is what I am going to do!" Callie said allowing the vibe of Kellie's pep talk work through here, "With lots and lots of liqueur and you should really run for president because there isn't much you can't get me to believe in or do."

"I'll definitely take that under advisement!" Kellie said making her way across the street towards the restaurant.

"You do that," Callie replied falling in behind her, "I would vote for you."

Bones had become such a hot spot over the months that it attracted an elite sometimes famous clientele. With famous clientele, came the bottom feeders that made their life exploiting the personal moments of the famous. Callie and Kellie didn't seem to notice as flash bulbs went off upon their arrival at the trendy restaurant. Callie really enjoyed being back in her restaurant. She enjoyed the food, and thoroughly enjoyed the wine they shared. Callie especially enjoyed the company of her friend as she was reminded of all the qualities she'd initially found attractive in her former girlfriend. She was genuinely glad that she was able to see that once again. If anything, one good thing had come out of her break up with Arizona. The night ended with Callie feeling the warmth of the alcohol as it spread through her body casing her to feel moderately drunk. Kellie kept her alcoholic consumption down to a minimum discreetly getting rid of the wine Callie kept freely pouring into her glass. She'd take a sip or two then signal the waiter to take it away while leaving her with a new glass. Callie never seemed to catch on. Being drunk around Callie would not be a good thing for her to do. But her friend deserved the freedom to indulge without guilt so Kellie kept up the charade. Callie always got a little handsy when she drank. She animatedly discussed how her cartilage research was coming a long and how it would revolutionize the field of orthopedics. She'd punctuate her sentence by grabbing Kellie's arm, placing a hand on her shoulder, leaving her hand on her upper thigh. Kellie tried hard to shake off the feelings that Callie was using her physical presences as more than just a way to express her enthusiasm. She really wished that she could be immune to the charm of Callie but that just wasn't the case. Callie would always be like kryptonite for her. Even drunk, Callie knew what she was doing. She knew the senator still harbored sexual feelings for her. She'd catch Kellie looking at her from time to time but never mentioned it. So her seemingly innocent touches and coquettish actions did hold an alternative purpose. When they got back to Callie's, Callie went upstairs to get ready for bed while Kellie attended to some business related emails. Once she was done, she joined Callie in her bedroom. Callie walked out wearing a red stain baby doll negligee with matching panties. Kellie then had an epiphany that Callie was playing a very discreet game of hardball because she knew that Callie was aware of how much she loved red lingerie on her former lover. Not to mention that very set was one they'd purchased together and made good use of. But she just played it off without commenting but Callie was quick to catch the look on the senator's face.

"What?" she asked innocently, "My body had been pampered all day and I can't see any reason why I shouldn't extend to when I am asleep, can you?"

"Oh no," the senator shrugged easily, "You by all means should be comfortable in your own bed." Kellie closed he bathroom door tending to her business. Whens he came out, the lights were off. Callie was laying on her side with her back to Kellie. Relieved, Kellie slid in next to her friend. Her relief was definitely short lived when she felt Callie sidle up next to her. Callie placed her hand over Callie's midsection toying with the hem of her short in order to test the waters. Kellie gasped involuntarily. Emboldened by the response, Callie slid her hand under the shirt connecting with the sensitive skin of Kellie's lower abdomen. Now that Kellie was faced with absolute proof of Callie's intentions, she was paralyzed with inaction. She never lost her physical desire for Callie, she just shoved it deep inside her, but it was always there. That part of her was lapping up the intimate contact like a desert during the spring rains. Her skin was blossoming with goosebumps traversing all over her body. Her brain was even at war with itself trying to find a legitimate reason to not let it continue then switching to why not let it happen. Callie interpreted her silence as submission continuing her sensual trek upwards caressing the delicate under side of Kellie's breast. Although she was not proud of it, the moment Callie reached that specific erogenous zone, all logic took a flying leap out the window. An appreciative moan passed though her lips as Callie played her body like finely tuned instrument. The moan spurred Callie further into action swallowing any more sound with her mouth as she kissed Kellie hard. Remembering Kellie's proclivities for roughness, she nipped at her lips before soothing the ache away with her warm tongue while her nails raked callously against her skin leaving light red lines in her wake. She progressed her semi rough treatment up to Kellie's breast, roughly pinching ad rolling the pert nipple between her fingers. Kellie arduously met Callie's lips and mouth with feverish kisses of her own. Her hands acted of their own volition as they reacquainted themselves with Callie's womanly curves. Callie moved her lips across the expanse of skin located on her neck. She remembered how much Kellie liked being marked so she bit down hard on the skin between her neck and shoulder quickly bringing the blood to the surface then sucking hard to cement her carnal brand. Kellie hissed at the treatment tugging at Callie's hair urging her on. Callie pulled her friend up brusquely ripping her shirt carelessly up and over hear head so she had total access to Kellie's torso. She lapped at the angry red scratch marks left behind by her fingernails leaving Kellie literally panting for more. Callie's hand snaked its way down slipping underneath the waist band of the senator's pajama bottoms. At that moment, Kellie became cognizant of a faint warning cry in the back of her mind. Growling, she pinned Callie's hand under neath her pants holding it there with her won before gaining enough leverage to flip Callie over so she was the one on top.

"So you want to be on top," Callie grinned knowingly. She attempted to use her pinned hand to gain further access but Kellie kept it restrained.

"Don't," Kellie heaved through teeth clenched together so hard the veins in her forehead bulged. Callie looked quizzically at her friend seeing her eyes shut tight, how hard her jaws were cinched together and how she was struggling to regain her breath by taking deep breaths in through her nose before expelling it out of her mouth in a controlled action. When she was certain she could move Callie's hand without losing control just from such a little bit of contact, she pulled it out pushing it above Callie's head holding it there. Callie tried using her other hand but was stopped short by Kellie's desperate plea.

"Please," she whispered almost resorting to begging, "If you touch me again, I don't think I would have the strength to stop again."

"Why stop at all?" Callie purred seductively. Kellie finally got enough control over her charging hormones to open her eyes looking at Callie with trouble green eyes. Sitting back on her legs, she grabbed a pillow covering her naked body.

"Why Callie?" she asked plainly.

"Why not?" the doctor countered easily, "I've seen the way you still look at me. You can't tell me you don't want me. I could feel just how ready you were for me."

"Of course I want you Callie," she answered making gestures with her hands to stress her point, "I'm not blind but why do you want me?"

"Because I am not blind either Kellie," she answered quickly hoping to put this discussion to bed so she could finally get the hesitant woman back in her bed, "You are absolutely stunning and sexy as hell." Shaking her head not buying into it Kellie simply replied, "Not good enough."

"How about I feel like a horny 17 year old boy and I remember just how good things were between us sexually?" she said attempting to stroke Kellie's ego so she could end up literally stroking the gun shy woman with her tongue once this ridiculous discussion was over with.

"Don't you think we know each other well enough by now to tell each other the truth?" she asked Callie.

"What do you want from me?" she responded raking her hands through her hair in frustration.

"If you want this to go any further tell me the truth Callie. Why do you want me and why now?"

"Because!" the Latina answered like a spoiled child not used to be told no.

"Because why?" the senator responded quickly not letting the frustration divert her from getting her answers.

"Because I just want to forget!" Callie shouted.

"What is it that you want to forget?" Kellie asked softly knowing she was close to making the kill.

"I just want to forget the pain," Callie replied on the verge of desperation.

"And having sex with me would help you forget the pain you feel from losing Arizona?" Kellie aptly summarized. Perking up a bit, Callie felt like her friend was finally grasping her logic making it more likely that she would get her way in the end.

"Yes that is exactly it," she said getting excited. Kellie took a deliberate pause before responding.

"Hmm..."

"Hmm," Callie repeated confused, "Hmm what?"

"I'm just wondering how that makes you any different from Arizona, that's all," she said with a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders. The words struck Callie just as an actual blow would have leaving her reeling.

"It doesn't," she quietly admitted shamefully.

"No sweetie, it doesn't," her friend agreed getting up from the bed in search of her shirt.

"Are you angry?" Callie wanted to know.

"Of course not," she replied genuinely.

"Then where are you going?"

"Angry no, incredibly turned on, yes," Kellie half joked, "I don't trust myself to be in the same bed as you given my current...uh...state?" She managed to coax a small smile out of her friend.

"I'm just going to uh...sleep in the spare room," she said edging her way out of the room, "I will see you in the morning, okay?"

"Okay," Callie nodded as her friend pulled the door shut, "If it's any consolation, I'm incredibly turned on too!" Kellie stopped dead in her tracks contemplating tearing into the room to finish what Callie started. She turned around heading back that way but made a bee line to the spare bathroom instead where she shocked her body back into homeostasis with the help of a very long, very ice cold shower.

Kellie woke up before Callie. She got herself dressed and personal things together since she'd be staying at her own home because Max would be home later in the morning. Carrying everything downstairs, she went to the kitchen to brew some coffee. Callie appeared not long after dressed for work.

"Hey," she said shyly, "I'm really sorry."

"You were drunk," Kellie said sliding a steaming cup of coffee over to Callie. She took the cup blowing on it before taking a sip.

"Don't you think we know each other well enough by now to tell each other the truth?" Callie parroted Kellie's statement from last night, "We both know I wasn't that drunk."

"Okay so you weren't that drunk, and yes we do know each other well enough to be truthful," the senator agreed, "But I also think our history affords each other the occasional 'out' for any naughty behaviors every once and awhile."

"Well thank you for that consideration but I accept responsibility for my actions and any trouble I caused you." Callie said maturely.

"Don't worry about it," Kellie replied dismissively, "Any troubles you caused me were sorted out in the shower." She punctuated her comment with a wink causing Callie to choke on her coffee at her friend's antics.

"I'm going to work now," she announced, "Do you want to meet for lunch later?"

"You know I think I will be okay," the doctor answered catching onto Kellie's unspoken question, "Why don't the three of us meet for dinner?"

"Of course," Kellie said kissing her cheek good-bye, "Max would love to see you!"

"It will be good for me to be around my friends," she admitted.

"If you need me you can always call," Kellie instructed as she made her way out the house.

"I will," Callie answered, "Oh and Kellie..." Something in Callie's tone told her it would be better for her sanity if she didn't turn around to face her friend so with her back turned she answered.

"Yeah?"

"It would have been mind blowing," Callie said implying how good the sex would've been between them.

"It always was," she replied cheekily before closing the door behind her in more ways than one.

AN: So do you guys still hate Kellie now? I mean she could've just let Callie forget and F*** her.

AN2: I don't really have a very good excuse for my delay in updating. I had every intention of finishing this story during my holiday vacation until I sliced my left index finger with a serrated pocket knife trying to cut a freaking zip tie off a present that I got. I was told that I was not "woman" enough to wield the pocket knife, and as a result, I ended up in the ER Christmas night getting 7 stitches. My finger has been immobilized until the stitches were removed, and I am beginning to think there might be some nerve damage because I can't feel my finger from the knuckle up to the tip. Have you ever tried to type with a stump? Sucks! All that aside, I hope you liked this chapter.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter **

Initially Callie dreaded walking through the glass doors of the hospital fearing she'd been the main topic of the hospital's vicious rumor mill. Her worries were completely unfounded as she was greeted with the usual concern that comes after being, "sick" for an extended period of time. She mentally chided herself for underestimating Arizona. The brunette realized that Arizona was not the type of person to take vengeance out on another person no matter how hurt she might feel. Relieved, she thrust herself into work trying to catch up after being out for a few days. It didn't hurt hat staying busy kept her mind occupied so she was less haunted by the memories of good times she shared with Arizona while in the hospital. In fact, she barely had time to breath, let alone think. When she did pause, it was to use the bathroom. She was mid-stream when she heard the hustle and bustle of one shift leaving and a new one coming on.

"Shit," she cursed herself looking at the watch realizing the time. She was brought out by someone saying her name. Straining to her what was being said, she eavesdropped on a conversation between Teddy and Arizona.

"I heard Callie's here today," Teddy said.

"Really?" Arizona replied clearly interested.

"Yeah, have you seen her?" the heart surgeon wondered.

"No, she is probably either gone by now or in such a remote place in the hospital that I would have a snowflakes chance in hell of finding her."

"Yeah, like the basement!" Teddy joked. Callie chose that specific moment to make her presence known by flushing her toilet. The attnedings locker room went as quiet as a graveyard as the two women awaited who might have been in the stall listening to their conversation.

"Don't let it be Callie, don't let it be Callie," Teddy whispered under her breath.

"Callie," she greeted just a tad bit too cheerful that it came off as awkward.

"Hello Teddy," Callie responded in such a tone that left no question that she heard every word of their conversation Arizona simply stared letting her eyes get their fill of the woman she'd been missing every single second since they broke up. It was like a visual oasis for her thirsting eyes. After acknowledging Teddy, Callie couldn't help but do the same. It as as if light,sound, and time blurred out everything but the two of them. The were so engrossed in each other that neither realized when Teddy made a hasty get away. Arizona knew the spell would be broken once Callie spoke so she chose to rip the band aid off on her own accord.

"Hey," she said tentatively.

"Hey," Callie answered back.

"How are you feeling?" she asked trying to break the ice.

"I wasn't really sick, Arizona," she informed.

"I figured that out Calliope because you know when I'm not picking straw out of my teeth, I'm a pretty smart woman," Arizona joked. Realizing she had reacted out of defensiveness, she apologized.

"I'm sorry, Arizona," she said honestly, "It's just that this is hard."

"I know better than anyone else just how hard 'this' is," the blond replied sympathetically, "I miss you, Calliope."

"Omg...don't," the brunette said clutching her stomach as her resolved began to slip at the sound of her name coming from Arizona's lips.

"You can't," she whispered clearly pained.

"Can't what," Arizona responded boldly pushing forward, "Tell you I mis you, that I care about you, that I think about you every second of the day or that I lo..."

"No!" Callie shouted loudly enough to get her to stop, "No you can't, okay." Arizona reeled back astonished at the force behind Callie's words. Squaring her shoulders in an effort to compose herself, Callie walked over to her locker where she stored a box of Arizona's personal belongings.

"Here are your things," she said all business like. Arizona accepted the box dumbfounded, "Your key is in there too so I'll need you to get my stuff together. You can bring in here."

"Umm okay?" Arizona answered not exactly sure what she was agreeing to.

"Thank you," Callie replied automatically making her way to the door. She grabbed the door handle pulling it open.

"I miss you too, Arizona," she said barely above a whisper, "So much." And then, like a magician, she was gone leaving Arizona looking at her meager box of belongings. The longer she stood there, the angrier she got. She threw the contents of her box in the garbage storming out as her rage continued to build. She grabbed the envelop out of her bag slamming her locker door shut with a metallic bang. She marched her way past Teddy who waited for her out of concern which was quickly rebuffed as Arizona continued on her mission. Teddy attempted to stop her but she pressed on. She pushed the button to the elevator tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for it to arrive. Stepping in the elevator, she pushed the floor she wanted with vigor. Her march continued until she reached her rendezvous point. She enters the office space startling the receptionist. She strode right past her as the woman regained her wits enough to try and stop her.

"You can't go in there," her protests falling on deaf ears as Arizona advanced through the once closed doors. The person inside deliberately did not react. Arizona dropped the envelope onto the desk in front of the person.

"That envelope is impossible to open," she announced.

"I'm sorry Dr. Wilson, she just barged right in," the flustered woman said.

"It's okay Kate," Dr. Wilson said calmly, "You can leave us."

"Hmpf," Kate said loudly clearly not happy about the situation but she did as she was told. Once the door was shut, Dr. Wilson commented.

"You were saying?" she questioned. Arizona stood in front of the psychiatrist with her arms crossed defensively across her chest.

"I said that envelope can not be opened," she repeated as clarification. Dr. Wilson picked up the envelope, turning it over in her hands in order to closely examine it.

"This envelope?" she expounded further.

"Yes, yes, yes," Arizona exclaimed in exasperation, "I thought psychiatrists were supposed to be smart. That envelope!" Dr. Wilson plucked her letter opener out of her desk swiftly slicing through the seal of the dreaded envelope. Arizona observed completely stunned. Dr. Wilson placed the envelope flat on her desk sliding it back towards Arizona.

"Impossible for you to open?" she stated. Arizona fumbled for words before answering with a lame, "Yeah."

"And you are?" Dr. Wilson prompted. The polite inquiry finally snapped the dumbfounded doctor out of her stupor.

"Omigod," she replied mortified, "I am so sorry. I am not usually like this. I don't normally barge into someone's private space." Dr. Wilson chuckled at her rambles.

"It's okay," she said to the flustered woman, "Why don' you just back up and tell me who you are 'cause I kind of figured out why you are here," she said gesturing to the now unsealed envelope.

"Right, pardon me," Arizona held out her hand in greeting, "I'm Arizona Robbins. I work in peds."

"Nice to meet you Dr. Robbins," she said mentally trying to place the reason why that name was familiar to her. She had an aha moment realizing she heard about her from another client, Callie Torres.

"It's so nice to meet you," Dr. Wilson said genuinely accepting the hand shake, "What can I do for you?"

"I need help," Arizona replied plainly.

"Clearly, but why me," came the doctor's response.

"A friend of mine trusted you to help her with some things she was dealing with," Arizona answered honestly.

"If this 'friend' was or is a client of mine, then surely you know it is a conflict of interest for me to even consider taking on as a client."

"But this has nothing to do with Calliope," the blond dcotr protested adamantly, "Well except that losing her is forcing me to deal with my you know what."

"No I don't know what. Why don't you tell me and then I can decide whether or not I can treat you," the psychiatrist said. Part of Arizona wanted to growl at this woman for not making this situation any easier for her.

"My brother died in Iraq, and I haven't been the same since he died. I came to you because I would rather swallow razor blades than ask for help but Callie trusts you and that is good enough for me," Arizona spit out all in one breath. The psychiatrist rested her chin in the palm of her hand deliberating whether or not to refer Arizona to a colleague or take the challenge of helping the pediatric surgeon herself.

"This has nothing to do with your relationship with Dr. Torres?" she asked skeptically.

"No. It is about me and why I do the things that I do," she answered truthfully, "Callie was just the impetus for me to seek help."

"Callie who?" Dr. Wilson feigned ignorance in order to make a point.

"Okay, I gotcha," Arizona assured the woman.

"This will only be about you. The second you make this about your relationship, I am going to refer you to a colleague," she said laying down the rules for how they would be able to work together.

"I understand completely," Arizona told her.

"The next time you see me, it will because you have a scheduled appointment," she further clarified their working relationship.

"Yes of course, and I am really sorry."

"Go make an appointment with Kate, and save your apologies for her," Dr. Wilson said with a smile. Arizona got up to leave but was stopped short by Dr. Wilson calling her name.

"You forgot something," she said indicating the forgotten envelope. Arizona was taken aback. The enormous pressure was removed off her shoulders once Dr. Wilson opened the envelope. So much so that she forgot about it for a few minutes.

"Damn," Arizona commented appreciatively returning to get the envelope, "You are good!"

"I try," Dr. Wilson said with a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders. On her way out, Arizona made her apologies to the chilly receptionist like a good little girl. She made her way back to the locker room. On her way, she met up with Teddy. She filled Teddy in on everything that occurred between her and Callie and what it caused her to do. Teddy exclaimed in shock when she noted the opened envelope.

"You've been carrying that thing around with you forever!" she commented.

"I know," Arizona said quietly.

"And it is open just like that?" she questioned with a snap of her fingers.

"Yeah, just like that," she answered, "I still don't know what is in it yet but I can tell you that I feel an immense relief of pressure just knowing that it is opened."

"Wow, she is a smart cookie," Teddy chuckled.

"I know, right?" her friend agreed.

"Well you know what they say?" Teddy asked.

"No what?"

"A neurotic is a person who builds a castle in the air, a psychotic is the person who lives in it, and a psychiatrist is the person who collects the rent," the heart surgeon joked causing Arizona to chuckle.

"We're in the wrong branch of medicine my friend," Arizona said wryly.

"And give up all this?" Teddy replied sweeping her hand grandly, "No way, no day."

"Yeah me neither," she agreed with Teddy whole heartedly.

"You gonna be okay?" Teddy asked switching from frivolity to seriousness.

"If you asked me that yesterday, my answer would have more than likely been different," she replied thoughtfully, "But today, I kinda believe in the possibility of being okay." Teddy placed a hand on Arizona's shoulder in support.

"Good Arizona, that is good," she told her best friend. Placing her hand on top of Teddy's, she replied, "Thank you for being such a good friend." After the heart felt exchange, both woman quickly immersed themselves in their respective jobs.

Thus began Arizona's delving into her feelings and emotions during her weekly therapy sessions with Dr. Wilson. She brought the dreaded envelope each time but each time Dr. Wilson asked her if she wanted to open it, Arizona had some excuse. Dr. Wilson didn't push the matter much knowing how much Arizona craved being in control. She'd push if she had to, but she knew lasting change came for personal motivation rather than forced motivation. During a particularly grueling session, Dr. Wilson was surprised to discover, given how important family was to her that Arizona hadn't seen her parents since before her brother deployed to Iraq.

"Prior to your brother's deployment, how often did you see your mom and dad?" she wondered.

"Not as much as I would've liked. Maybe every three months or so," she answered, "But I talked to them at least a couple of times during the week."

"And now?" Dr. Wilson forged ahead causing Arizona to shrug her shoulders in response.

"What's kept you away?" she continued to probe.

"I dunno," Arizona mumbled lamely.

"That is a child's answer, Arizona," she confronted gently, "What's kept you away?" Arizona's eyes swam with unshed tears that she quickly wiped away with the back of her hand.

"I can't face them," she choked out the words.

"What can't you face, Arizona?" Dr. Wilson asked gingerly.

"Them!" she shouted, "Them, okay?"

"Help me understand what you mean," the psychiatrist entreated.

"I can't face them because they blame me," Arizona responded.

"Blame you for what?"

"For my...brother," she ground out the words

"What makes you think that you're parents hold you responsible?" Dr. Wilson tried to question using logic.

"I blame myself," she muttered, "Why wouldn't they?" Dr. Wilson purposely paused before responding with an enigmatic, "hmm," causing Arizona to shift in her seat angrily.

"Hmm, that is all you are going to say?" she asked clearly irritated.

"You've already admitted to me some of the ways you dealt with pain was to have someone else punish you using various methods of discipline," the shrink commented referring back to how she first met Callie.

"Yeah, and?" Arizona answered with growing attitude.

"Well maybe not seeing your parents is another way that you inflict punishment on yourself because you think you're responsible for your brother's death."

"That is ludicrous!" Arizona protested.

"Well it seems to me that is just as ludicrous as thinking your parents hold you responsible for Tim's death," the psychiatrist shot right back.

"So you are telling me that there is no possible way to know what anyone other than me is thinking?" Arizona said basically quoting something she heard Dr. Wilson tell her again and again.

"It is really great to see you are paying attention," Dr. Wilson said turning Arizona's sarcasm into a compliment, "I'm not going to say your parents do or do not think that way. What I am saying is simply this: Find out." Arizona's head snapped back almost as if she was physically slapped. Dr. Wilson said nothing further electing to leave Arizona stewing in her thoughts. She was clearly becoming uncomfortable with herself but she knew that Arizona was on the precipice of the type of change that comes from discomfort and chaos. Arizona slowly regained her wits about to respond but was cut off by Dr. Wilson.

"Time's up," she announced.

"But," Arizona started.

"Time's up, Arizona," she restated, "Save it for our next session." Arizona left the session immersed in her unprocessed thoughts. Her feelings were running completely a muck. So much in fact that she couldn't pin herself down to just one single emotion. That was until she saw Callie exit an on call room in a rush seemingly headed toward the emergency room. Arizona was certain of her feeling in that moment. Elation. She couldn't get a firm grip on the pure joy she felt at the briefest glimpse of her former girlfriend because it was quickly deflated by the sight of Kellie leaving the same on-call room. Arizona' thoughts immediately went insane with implications spiraling out of control until all she could see was red, blood red. Kellie started walking away from the on-call room but stopped when she heard a voice calling to her from behind.

"You don't waste time do you?" Arizona said in a voice full of hatred and jealousy. Kellie spun around to face her accuser, not entirely sure it was really directed to her. Her initial reaction at the sight of Arizona was happiness.

"Hello Dr. Robbins," Kellie greeted with genuine warmth.

"Save your lies and fakeness for your constituents," Arizona lashed out, "I am not someone who buys into your innocent, bullshit act." Completely stunned, Kellie responded out of confusion.

"Pardon me?"

"No I won't 'pardon you.' What is it like to kiss Callie with the taste of me still in her mouth?" Arizona asked crassly.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," Kellie responded trying her best to stay calm.

"How this state let alone our country can put our faith in someone like you is baffling," Arizona said taking the battlefield onto completely personal grounds, "You're like a damn vulture circling in the sky. How long did it take you to start fucking Callie?" At this point, Kellie was completely enraged at the accusations being carelessly thrown around.

"Correct me if I am wrong because apparently I'm a self-serving dimwit," Kellie said through a clenched jaw, "But I'm fairly certain that it is no longer your business who Callie is fucking since she dumped your pathetic ass."

"Pathetic," Arizona snorted derisively.

"That's what I said," the senator replied her voice rising with emphasis, "I tried to warm you that this might happen and you let it happen anyway so you can call me stupid, you can think I am an amoral, horny slut for all I care but I warned you, and you let it happen anyway!"

"You expect me to believe anything you have to say when you clearly wanted Callie even when you were supposedly 'warning' me," she scoffed, "Please."

"Oh yeah, so now I am a liar too," Kellie snapped loudly causing an echo to traverse the empty hallway.

"Aren't all politicians," Arizona answered snidely

"You know what you are?" Kellie said pointing a finger at the center of Arizona's chest, "You are..you are, you're such a fucking baw bag!" A smart ass retort was poised not so gracefully on the tip of her tongue but Arizona had no clue what a baw bag was so she didn't know what an appropriate retort would be. Plus, she noticed a curious Lexie Grey coming around the corner to see what all the ruckus was about. When Kellie realized there was a potential audience, she stormed off her heels clicking loudly down the hall as she went. Lexie made her way to Arizona's side and both doctor's watched the angry woman leaving in a huff.

"Baw bag," Arizona muttered under her breath, "What the hell does that even mean?' Arizona was so wrapped up in the insult she barely took note that Lexie was trying to talk to her.

"Dr. Robbins,"she said loudly trying to get the peds doctor's attention.

"Were you saying something Lexie?"

"Yeah I asked you if that was Senator Heroux?" Lexie questioned.

"Yes it was. Why?" the blond doctor wondered aloud moving down the hall towards the elevator with Lexie tagging after her like a puppy.

"Did you know that Senator Heroux's maiden name is MacGregor?" Lexie asked.

"Why no, I did not," she answered totally sarcastic, "Thanks for the tidbit of information.

"Well MacGregor is a Scottish surname," Lexie kept on.

"And is there a point to this drivel?" Arizona asked stabbing the elevator repeatedly as if it would make the elevator appear any quicker.

"So Senator Heroux spent all of her summer's with her grandmother who lives in Cumbernauld, which is in Scotland."

"Lexie again, do you have a point?" Arizona asked clearly bordering on annoyance.

"I'm pretty sure that baw bag is Scottish slang for ball sack which translates loosely into meaning you're an idiot."

"So she called me an idiot?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Lexie agreed pretty quickly. Just then the elevator dinged its arrival. Arizona stepped into the empty car resuming her inner dialog.

"_Baw bag, hmmph at least have the decency to insult me in terms that I can understand. I can swear in other languages too...whatever, loser." _Arizona was forced out of her self righteous rant as another employee got on the elevator as well. Her anger over the argument quickly gave way to feelings of insecurity and inadequacy.

"_Was Callie sleeping with Kellie, was what they had so meaningless that she could move on so quickly, was what they experienced together a sham?"_**** The what ifs drove Arizona into a state of hopelessness and despair. Deep down, she clung to a sliver of hope that if she dealt with her baggage, Callie might take her back but Kellie was right to some extent. Callie's love life was none of her business anymore. She felt completely overwhelmed and absolutely vulnerable. Only this time, instead of running from her feelings, Arizona felt them. It surprised her to know that her feelings didn't kill her, and that she could control them so that her feelings did not take control of her. Therapy only got harder the deeper she went but she could honestly say she was improving. Dr. Wilson helped her realize that she felt guilty for being alive or suffered from survivor's guilt. But, now Arizona knew that merely surviving was not an option for her any longer. Especially if she ever had hope to reunite with Callie. She had to thrive. Slowly but surely, she did. She still couldn't muster the courage to find out the contents of the envelope nor face her parents. If only she could do that, she could present herself to Callie fully.

There was no poke or prod to make her open the envelope. She just decided to do it. She worked out a plan to cope with her feelings in therapy. So she called to invite Teddy over as physical and emotional support for what she was going to do. She cracked open a bottle of pinot grigio for support of the liquid kind.

"I invited you over here for a reason," Arizona blurted out suddenly interrupting Teddy's monologue about a taxing cardiac patient. Teddy's eyes bugged out for a second, and she look left and right trying to figure out where Arizona was headed.

"Okay, what is going on?" she asked alarmed.

"I need you here in case I need support, and because you've been in the military and might be able to help me if I don't understand something," she hastily explained, "I'm going to do it Teddy, I am going to look at what is inside this damn envelope."

"Let's do this thing Arizona," Teddy cheered enthusiastically. Arizona gulped down the rest of her wine, wiped her sweaty palms on her denim covered thighs, took a deep breath sliding the documents out as she exhaled. It actually was a good thing Teddy was there because she didn't know quite what she was looking at.

"What is all of this Teddy?" she asked handing over the documents. Teddy took her time looking over each sheet of paper.

"Okay," she said once she was done, "This is Tim's missions log. The military keeps a record of each soldier's missions. It includes the objective for each mission as well as the outcome." Teddy paused to gage Arizona's reactions making sure she was still following.

"He was sent out in the field a lot," she continued, "But this is the one you are probably the most interested in." She pulled out the particular paper handing it to her friend. Arizona's hand trembled as she reached to take the paper being extended.

"That details Tim's final mission," Teddy explained gently. Arizona immediately teared up impairing her ability to read. Blinking rapidly to clear her vision, and taking several deep breaths to calm her racing heart, and nauseous tummy, she made herself read what happened. It wasn't until she got to the medics report that she began to fully comprehend what exactly occurred to end her brother's life. Medicine, she could understand. When she was done, she crumpled up the report and threw it across the room. She got up off the couch and began pacing around the room.

"So let me get this straight," she began angrily, "My brother and his unit were evacuating a school based on intel that it was going to be fire bombed, right?"

"Yes," Teddy responded quietly. Arizona nodded her head slightly in response to being right.

"And it does. It does get bombed," she paused looking at Teddy for confirmation.

"Yes," her friend replied softly.

"They get the kids and staff out of the school and are doing a final sweep when it begins to collapse." Teddy nods her head in agreement.

"My brother manages to get his team out but not before it falls on top of HIM?" she roared in pain and disbelief, "What the fuck, Teddy?" Teddy, realizing it was a rhetorical question, did not answer.

"He gets rewarded for heroism and bravery by being...crushed?" Arizona ranted, "I don't get it, I just don't get it."

"Arizona," Teddy said trying to interrupt her tirade.

"No Teddy," she said not wanting to hear reason, "He was buried alive. It took them over an hour to uncover him, and then he can't be helped. How can that be, Teddy. How?" Arizona plopped heavily onto the couch next to her friend. She turned to face Arizona enveloping Arizona's clammy hands into her warm ones.

"He sustained a crush injury sweetie," Teddy said calmly, "The only thing keeping him alive for that long was the debris piled on top of him. It kept him from bleeding out."

"They could've done something. They just let him die," Arizona replied in a voice bordering on hysteria.

"Medics in the field aren't equipped to deal with an injury that severe, honey," Teddy explained rationally.

"Still," she cried.

"It is war Arizona. It is dirty, it is ugly, and nothing about war is fair but they did the best the could for Tim," Teddy continued to try and be the voice of reason.

"Yeah and what was that?" Arizona asked cynically.

"They made him as comfortable as possible," the former Army doctor told her friend.

"You mean they shot him up with morphine until he finally died," she rephrased Teddy's statement to her liking.

"Yes, that is right," Teddy admitted plainly.

"So he felt no pain. I get that, and I am glad," she said her voice wavering, "But was he alone, did he know what was going on, was he scared, did he know how much I love him, how much I miss him every damn day. I miss him so much it hurts," she said tears free flowing out of her eyes as she let go of feelings she held on to for so long. She was vaguely aware that someone in her apartment was wailing like an injured animal. And whoever was upset was being comforted by Teddy. It wasn't until she heard her name did she connect the wounded sobbing to herself. It was like she was outside of her body looking in. She thought it hurt learning about her brother's death, but nothing could ever compare for her actually feeling the pain of loss coupled with years and years of suppressed feelings pouring forth. It felt like her heart was outside of her chest being assaulted with stabs of an ice pick. She cried until she was hoarse, sick, and exhausted. Teddy did her best to help her by holding her in her arms but it seemed grossly inadequate compared to the amount of pain the grieving woman was in. Silent sympathy spilled from Teddy's soft brown eyes as Arizona expressed her grief. Somehow Teddy managed to get Arizona into her bed where she collapsed into an exhausting sleep. Teddy went to Arizona's bathroom wringing out a wet wash cloth. Teddy gently soothed Arizona's swollen eyes and puffy cheeks with the cool cloth. She then got a spare pillow and blanket making herself a cozy nest on the couch, prepared to stay the night in order to be there for Arizona if she woke up.

That night, Arizona slept soundly. The only other time she slept as soundly as she did, was when she spent the night with Callie. And she didn't normally dream, but she did this particular night. She dreamt of a large, rectangular pool filled with fancy, colorful fish. There were trellis' surrounding the outskirts of the square that were adorned with a myriad of the brightest, most fragrant flowers Arizona had ever seen. The sun was shining brightly in a brilliant blue sky with cotton balls puffs of clouds floating by. Underneath some of the trellis' were stone benches hidden partially by the shade the trellis and intertwining vines created. It was on one of these benches that Arizona found herself sitting and watching. She was observing nine extremely beautiful, scantily clad women frolicking around the fountain. Each woman was seemingly engaged in one particular activity, and only that activity. All of the evoked the strangest feeling in Arizona. It made her want to create something, kind of like she felt when she was in an operating room. One of the girl's was playing a flute like instrument. She had flaming red hair, and striking green eyes. Arizona drooled at the sight of her. Another girl was dancing to the music being played. Another was acting out a play of some sort, and it sort of looked naughty. But Arizona was captivated by a woman with wavy, dark brown tresses, brown eyes, and a brilliant smile. She had an old fashioned quill and was using it on parchment paper.

"Some dream," Arizona jumped as she realized another presence in her dream. She turned to her right to see her brother sitting next to her gazing intently at the scene before her. He was wearing a white button down shirt that was rolled up to his elbows with a pair on white pants. He was barefoot and tan. Tim turned to his sister smiling.

"Hey, sis," he greeted her. Arizona flung herself into his arms clinging to him desperately. She swore she could actually feel him in her arms, and could smell the scent she always associated to her brother. He smelled like sunshine. Holding him at arms length, she looked him over noting the slightly crooked nose that occurred after a particularly brutal WWE wrestling match where she'd accidentally dropped kicked him in the face knocking out his two front teeth and breaking his nose. She noted the scar under his left eye from where he busted it open playing chase in the house.

"Tim, it's really you," she commented astonished.

"It really is me," he confirmed.

"What, how..." she started peppering him with questions.

"Do you really care?" he asked.

"No, not really," she admitted, "It is so good to see you. I miss you so much."

"I know. That is part of the reason why I'm here," he replied knowingly.

"Why now Tim? Can you at least tell me that?" she asked her brother.

"You were never ready before," he told her simply.

"And now I am?" she asked doubtfully.

"It's your dream," he replied cryptically.

"This is a dream?" she asked slightly befuddled because it felt so damn real to her. She could feel the sun warming her skin, and the breeze blowing through her hair. Before Tim could answer, the dark woman with the quill got up from her place near the fountain heading towards them. Before she got to them, she plucked a flower off of the trellis. She stopped in front of the pair. Up close, she was so stunning it almost hurt. Her skin was flawless like caramel marble, her eyes were liquid chocolate, and her hair was full and thick. She reached out with her right hand to tuck Arizona's hair behind her left ear before placing the flower, a pink carnation as it turns out, behind her ear. She bent at the waist placing a delicate kiss on her cheek as well. Arizona immediately blushed causing the woman to smirk. She left just as suddenly as she came.

"Uh wow," Arizona stammered.

"Definitely a dream," Tim chuckled.

"I need to tell you something Goober," Tim said using his special name for his sister.

"This sounds serious, Bean," Arizona replied using his pet name in reply.

"It is," he admitted, "So you really need to listen because I don't have much time."

"I'm listening," she said meeting his intense blue eyes so much like her own.

"I have absolutely no regrets about anything, Arizona. My life was just how I wanted it and I wouldn't change a thing." Arizona immediately started to weep but Tim lifted her chin with his hand.

"A life of regrets is a life wasted," he told her softly, "I don't want that for you Goober." Arizona's tears let loose. Tim held his sister while she cried. When she stopped, he tried to pull away but she wouldn't let him go.

"You have to let me go," Tim told her.

"Never Tim," she said vehemently.

"You are still alive Arizona," he said with a quiet urgency in his voice, "You have to live."

"It is so hard," she cried.

"It is time Arizona," he stated, "You need to let me go." Arizona finally released the death grip she had on him. When she did, she noticed it was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. All the activity surrounding them had stopped and nine pairs of eyes were trained on them as the scene played out.

"I love you little brother," Arizona said through a sad smile.

"I love you, too," Tim replied getting up to walk away. As he did, most of the women resumed their frivolity save for one pair of liquid brown eyes that continued to watch.

"You'll always be my big sister," he assured her as he backed away. He finally turned around headed out. Before he got to the path leading out of the fountain area, he turned back around.

"Inspiration is really hard to find. So when you do find it, hold onto it with both hands," he said trying to tell her something without actually having to say it, like in code. He glanced over to the dark haired woman giving her a small salute. Arizona looked at the exchange trying to glean some sort of clues from his cryptic comments, and the mysterious exchange. When she looked back, her brother was gone. Surprisingly enough, so was the pain, and she slept fitfully for the rest of the night.

She woke up the next morning to find Teddy in her kitchen making coffee. She immediately went over to her friend wrapping her up in a sweet, warm hug.

"Teddy," she whispered against her ear, "Thank you so much for everything."

"You're welcome honey," she responded, "I wouldn't have missed it for the world."

"You know I love you right," Arizona said realizing life was too short not to tell people you care about just how much.

"I do," her friend assured, "And you know I love you too."

"I do," Arizona said pulling away with a bright smile on her face.

"How are you this morning?" Teddy questioned.

"I feel..." she took a deliberate pause searching for the best word to encompass how she felt.

"Good," she answered deciding less is more, "I had the most amazing dream about Tim last night." Grabbing the two coffee mugs off the counter, Teddy motioned Arizona over to the table.

"Sit down," she said, "I want to hear all about it." Arizona recounted her dream in its entirety and with all the stunning detail she could remember. It didn't hit her until she completed her tale that she finally decided. By accepting her brother's death, Arizona had made her choice. A life altering one in fact. No more merely existing. Arizona chose to live.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: "It Takes More Strength To Cry"**

**Summary: Callie has a unique set of job skills that brings her in contact with Arizona. An undeniable attraction develops leaving Callie having to choose her feelings or her professionalism. A relationship develops, it goes well for awhile, until it doesn't.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. I just borrow them from Shonda Rimes from time to time and return them when I am done.**

**Rating: Overall rating is M**

**Author's note: This is the last chapter. Since it has been at least 8 months since an update, those of you that were with me from the beginning might need a refresher. Sorry!**

"So, I think I'm done now," Arizona said with a huge smile after recounting the dream with her personal interpretation of it, "And I'd really like to thank you, I couldn't have done it without you."

"You're done huh?" Dr. Wilson answered levelly.

"Well yeah, I think so," Arizona responded trying to sound certain but wavering, "I really do."

"Well before you ride off into the sunset," Dr. Wilson paused, "What about your parents?"

"What about them?" Arizona asked with a raised eyebrow clearly not following.

"We discussed your parents briefly," Dr. Wilson began but was interrupted.

"Yeah," Arizona responded impatiently wanting the shrink to get to the point.

"How did the dream change the fact that you've avoided your parents since Tim's death because you blame yourself and you've projected that blame onto your parents blaming you as well?" The shrink waited for her client to answer, and when she didn't, she kept pressing.

"I mean if this dream solved all, then when are you going to see your parents?"

"I wasn't planning on seeing them anytime soon," she admitted defensively.

"Then are you still ready to run out of here ready to reclaim your life without including your family in it?" Dr. Wilson pushed on.

"So are you saying in order to be ready to be on my own, I need to face my parents?" Arizona posed already knowing the way the doctor worked.

"Yes and accept responsibility for what you did to them," she answered.

"Did to them?" Arizona quickly said, "I thought we established that I am not responsible for what happened to my brother."

"Yes that is true," Dr. Wilson affirmed, "But your parents did lose their son, and then you dropped off the face of the planet. Have you ever stopped to consider how that might be interpreted by your parents?" Arizona sat back in her chair with her head hung low in defeat trying to come up with any other answer than the one she knew to be true in her heart.

"Oh God," she said in a horrified whisper, "It's like they lost both children instead of one." Dr. Wilson remained silent allowing Arizona to fully absorb the impact of her actions.

"How could I have done that to them?" she said seriously, "They never deserved that."

"Stop that Arizona. You can't do anything about the past," Dr. Wilson interrupted, "The question you need to ask yourself is what are you going to do about it now that you know?" Arizona shot up out of her seat like a rocket sprinting towards the door.

"I'm going to talk to the chief about getting time off immediately," she announced with purpose, "Then I am going home to pack some clothes and head to the airport for the first flight to Virginia." Arizona opened the door to the office still rattling off her plans.

"Good luck Arizona," Dr. Wilson called after her, "Now you are headed in the right direction!"

Arizona didn't have any problem with the chief getting time off. She reassigned or postponed all of her surgeries for the next month. Waiting for the elevator, Arizona allowed the sense of relief flood over her because for once, she knew what she had to do. The relief was shattered as the ping of the elevator signaled its arrival. The doors opened with a whoosh revealing a very stunning Latina dressed for a night on the town. Both women stared at each other caught like deer in headlights. Callie was spurred into action by the doors closing. She reached forward to nudge the button to keep the doors open. Arizona took a hesitant step into the elevator.

"Thanks," she finally managed to find her voice.

"You're welcome," came Callie's automatic response. Encouraged by the response, Arizona decided to take a chance.

"You look really pretty," she commented on the Latina's attire. The compliment was met with an open mouth and a deadly glare, but Arizona failed to take note, and boldly forged ahead, "Where..." was all she managed to get out before she was interrupted by a fiery tirade.

"You know what, NO," Callie ranted angrily, "You don't get to compliment me, you don't get to ask questions, you don't get to blow up at my friend because you think we are sleeping together. You. Don't. Get. To!"

"You heard about that?" Arizona asked meekly hanging her head in shame.

"Of course I did Arizona," Callie snapped, "And not that it is ANY of your business but you are so completely off base."

"It wasn't one of my finest moments," she mumbled in her defense, "I am sorry." At that moment the elevator stopped on the ground level.

"It's not me you should be apologizing to," Callie said before walking out of the door. Arizona watched her greet a very handsome, well groomed man with a kiss on his cheek. Arizona watched as the beautiful man said something to Callie that made her throw her head back in laughter. She takes his arm and the pair proceed out into the night.

"Shit," Arizona said aloud to no on in particular, "She is dating...Shit...she's dating."

Arizona sped towards her home making it there in record time. She gave a silent shout out to the angel that watched over her and others while she was driving like a bat out of hell. She hastily threw things together in a carry on in preparation for her trip to her parents. On the equally hasty commute to the airport, Callie's words echoed in her head. Instead of taking the exit to the airport, she chose another instead arriving outside of the Seattle branch of the Washington State District Attorney's office. She remember Callie telling her once that Senator Heroux maintained an office there. She climbed the steps entering the building before she could change her mind. She searched the directory, and after finding her destination, she made her way down the hall. Coming upon her destination, she could see a faint light emanating from underneath the door. Arizona hurried to the door again contemplating changing her mind but rapped sharply on the door instead.

"Come in," came the muffled reply. Arizona slowly opened the door uncertain if her reception would be welcomed with sharpness of wit or sharpness of a stapler being throttled at her head. The Senator was busy at her desk not even bothering to look up right away. It was only when her visitor didn't announce the reason for their interruption that she even bothered to look up.

"Oh Dr. Robbins," Kellie said sitting back in her chair casually resting her arms on the armrest, "To what do I owe this honor. No wait, let me guess...maybe you've come to question my ethics as a Senator of these grand United States, or maybe you've come to judge what I do behind the closed doors of my bedroom. No wait, here me out, better yet who I do behind the aforementioned closed doors of my bedroom."

"_Ahhh,_" Arizona sighed internally, "_Sharpness of wit it is then_," she thought.

"Well?" Kellie prompted. Taking a step forward into the room, Arizona stood bravely before Kellie.

"Actually, I have come to apologize to you," she responded neutrally.

"Well damn," Kellie replied as the sarcasm deflated from her like a leaky life raft, "This should be interesting. Shut the door, and sit down. I am not going to throw my law books at you or anything," she joked until she saw the look of relief on Arizona's face.

"You thought I was going to throw an actual book at you?" she asked incredulously.

"Not a book actually," Arizona said with a shaky laugh, "More like a stapler."

"Well this apology is certainly taking a unique bend in the road," Kellie commented dryly, "I've yet to hear you apologize instead you've made more erroneous presumptions about me once again!" Kellie could see the doctor's discomfort. It made her laugh inside.

"So this apology?" she said steering the conversation back on course.

"Yeah, right," Arizona stammered. Taking a deep breath, and pulling up her big girl panties, she forced herself to look Kellie straight in the eyes. She held her gaze to let the Senator know she was sincere.

"I was all wrong about you,"she started, "And I am sorry for all the things I said to you the last time I saw you." Kellie took in the sincere tone in her voice, and her unfaltering gaze before responding.

"I appreciate the apology and I accept it but if you don't mind me asking, why now?" she wondered, "It's not like you and I would ever have to see each other again."

"When I am wrong, I say it," she answered honestly, "And I try to fix it if I can."

"Ohh," Kellie said knowingly, "You think by doing this, you can earn back some brownie points with Callie."

"What do you mean?" Arizona questioned clearly not catching Kellie's insinuation.

"Is this your way of trying to get back in Callie's good graces," the Senator replied deciding to speak plainly.

"No!" Arizona replied becoming incensed, "This has nothing to do with getting her back."

"Go on, I am listening," Kellie encouraged.

"This is about righting a wrong and that is it," she sighed heavily, "There is no hidden agendas or ulterior motives."

"Leave that to us politicians huh?" Kellie quipped.

"Absolutely," Arizona played along, "Besides, I think it is already too late to fix things with Callie."

"Too late? What do you mean?" the senator asked getting confused.

"I saw her with, with this man so gorgeous and so sexy I think I would even consider going out with him," she replied honestly, " And I don't even like men."

"Oh wait, was this man young, tall, 'Greek-like' god, hunk of a man?" Kellie asked knowingly.

"Yeah, how did you know?" Arizona responded.

"Well there is good news and there is bad news," Kellie informed the befuddled doctor.

"I'd like the good news please," the peds doctor said.

"The good news is the man you saw her with is Alejandro," Kellie stated matter of factly.

"Damn, he even has a hot name," Arizona complained under her breath, "How exactly is that good news?"

"Well, she isn't dating him exactly, which brings me to the bad news," Kellie said with a hint of foreboding in her tone, "Alejandro is Callie's bridge man."

"What in the world is a bridge man?" Arizona asked clearly confused.

"Callie uses him to bridge the gap from one relationship to the next," Kellie answered plainly again to help Arizona understand.

"So she is using him to help her get over me?" Arizona summarized.

"And get back into the dating field," Kellie finished for her.

"Ahh, the bad news," she sighed dejectedly.

"Exactly," Kellie sympathized. Arizona looked at her watch.

"Oh crap," she said standing abruptly, "I'm going to be late for my flight."

"Where are you going?" Kellie asked watching Arizona's hasty departure.

"Culpeper, Virginia," Arizona shouted as she ran down the hall, her footsteps echoing loudly in the empty hallway.

"Good luck," Kellie hollered after her.

"Thanks," came the echoed reply.

Arizona made her flight by the skin of her teeth. She worried herself so much on the plan that by the time the plane landed in Washington, DC, her nails were chewed down to the quick. She departed the plane with her carry on in search of a car rental place. In her standard rental, Arizona made the two hour trip to her parents house. It was dinner time when she got there. Ringing the doorbell was weird for her and she shifted nervously from foot to foot as she waited for someone to answer the door. She straightened her posture preparing for the worst as she heard the deadbolt turning in its lock. The door swung open revealing a very shocked Barbara Robbins. Arizona smiled and waved awkwardly.

"Hi Mom," she said sheepishly, "Guess who's come to dinner?"

"Arizona," she whispered in astonishment before stepping aside to usher her wayward daughter inside the house. Once inside the door, she pulled Arizona into a desperate hug and Arizona not only accepted it, she returned it as well. After sometime, the women reluctantly pulled apart. Barbara held her child at arms length scrutinizing her from head to toe.

"Are you eating out there?" she inquired, "You look like a starving refugee."

"Yes Mom, I eat," Arizona answered to appease her mother's concern.

"Well, we were just about to eat supper. You can join us," her mother said in a tone which let Arizona know she wouldn't take no for an answer. She led Arizona down the hall towards the dining room where her father was already seated at the head of the table.

"Daniel," her call echoed down the hallway, "Look what the cat dragged in for supper," she said pulling Arizona out of the shadows. Daniel Robbins looked up doing a double take. His fork dropped with a clang against his dinner plate.

"Well I'll be damned," he exclaimed getting out of his chair. He walked over to where Arizona was anxiously awaiting. He grabbed her by the shoulders appraising her much like her mother did.

"Are you eating?" he asked gruffly coming to a similar conclusion as his wife.

"Yes, Dad," Arizona sighed rolling her eyes.

"Barbara," he called out, "Get this girl a plate."

"Yes dear," his wife replied already two steps ahead of him in getting the utensils and plate for Arizona to join them for dinner.

"Oh," he replied still surprised after all these years that his wife was always a few steps ahead of him, "We can talk later. For now, let's just eat together as a family."

"It's been awhile," his wife echoed his sentiment as she was dishing out food to her husband and her daughter.

Dinner was a surprisingly pleasant affair that caught Arizona completely unaware. She expected her father to interrogate her in a rapid fire succession until he got an answer to each and every question he had about the past few years of her life. But instead, instead he asked questions about her life in an attempt to fill in the missing spaces of the missing years of his daughter's life. Arizona found herself answering his questions with enthusiasm, and she she asked a multitude of questions of her own intently listening to the answers her parents gave. She wanted to make up for as much time as possible. Dinner came to its natural close, and Arizona helped her mother with the dishes. Her mom then prepared a pot of coffee.

"Come on sweetie," she said taking a cup with her, "Your father will be in the study.  
>"<em>Let's get this over with,"<em> the nervous doctor thought to herself. Barbara made her way to the study followed by a her terse daughter. She handed her husband his coffee which he graciously accepted. Arizona sat across from her father chewing her already demolished nails some more in nervous anticipation. Daniel fixed his steely green eyes on his daughter.

"You've got some explaining to do young lady," her father said succinctly throwing her into the deep in of the pool by doing away with formalities.

"I know Dad," she admitted, "I am just at a loss as to where I should start."

"Why don't you just start with what brought you here now," her mother smartly suggested.

"Well I've been seeing a therapist," she said carefully completely aware of her father's biases towards therapy or anything remotely similar. When she looked up, she was met with the open expression of acceptance from both of her parents.

"And she has helped me realize a lot of things about myself and my behaviors since..."

"You can say it honey," her father encouraged, "Since Tim died."

"Yes Dad, since Tim died," she repeated.

"What sort of things," her mother wondered getting the conversation back on track.

"This is going to sound crazy, I know," she answered beginning to ramble, "But she helped me realized that I blamed myself for Tim's death."

"What!" both of her parents exclaimed practically in unison.

"That's ridiculous," her father added.

"And," Arizona raised her voice an octave to be heard over her parents rumblings, "And I thought you guys blamed me too."

"Now that is absolutely ridiculous and completely untrue," her normally soft spoken mother aid with righteous indignation.

"Let's hear her out Babs," her father said using his wife's nickname to try and calm the situation and his wife down. The young peds doctor did a double take staring at her father. She was shocked at the reversal of roles between her mom and dad. Shaking the confusion out of her mind, she continued, "Like I said, I know now it was crazy," she emphasized, "Dr. Wilson helped me see that. And she also helped me see how my behavior since Tim died could've been interpreted by you." She hoped her parents would elect to chime in at this exact moment so she couldn't have to say it herself but luck was not on her side. Her parents just looked at her as if to say, "Go on, we're waiting."

"I realize now that by not taking your calls, ignoring your attempts to visit, and by not keeping in contact with you, that it could've seemed likeyoulostwochildreninstead ofone," she said all in one breath to get it over with, "And I am very, very, very sorry." Her mother gasped for air placing a hand over her heart as if that would help quell the stampede inside her chest.

"You know Arizona," her dad replied calmly, "I'll be honest with you, it did seem like that in the beginning but through some counseling of our own, your mother and I had to learn how to let you go and trust that you'd come to us when you were ready." Her mother shook her head in agreement.

"You, you, you went to a therapist," she stammered looking at her father in disbelief.

"Your mother threatened me," he shrugged.

"Really," she commented skeptically, "Did she threaten to stop cooking your meals, washing your laundry, ironing your clothes down to your boxers?"

"I threatened to divorce him," her mother answered totally unappreciative of the condescending tone her child took, "And I meant it."

"I've never been easy to live with," Daniel answered sheepishly, "But I was a complete beast those days."

"Sing it," her mother replied.

"Well Madonna was right when she said, 'It takes more strength to cry, admit defeat." her father answered simply.

"The colonel is actually quoting an actual Madonna song?" Arizona asked astonished, "Did aliens abduct the real Daniel Robbins 'cause that man there ain't the same man who raised me to be a good man in a storm." Arizona's mother coughed out a laugh spitting out her coffee in the process.

"Yeah, yeah a little change is good," her dad said gruffly.

"A little, a little," she squeaked, "He quoted MA-DON-NA," she said to her mother

"I know," her mom replied.

"It is your fault anyway Arizona," her father replied, "Remember that summer?"

"What are you talking about? What summer," she asked confused.

"We call it Arizona's summer of love," her mother laughed.

"The first summer you had a serious girlfriend," her dad prompted trying to jog her memory.

"Ahh yes Casey," she said with a nostalgic sigh, "What does she have to do with anything?"

"You played that CD over and over again all summer long," her father informed her, "Day and night!"

"You said it seemed like Madonna wrote that song specifically about yours and Casey's love dear," her mother mused.

"I paid Tim five dollars to make that CD disappear," her father admitted finally.

"I KNEW it!" his daughter hollered indignantly causing everyone to laugh at the shared memory. The laughter died out finally leaving a comfortable lull in the conversation.

"You know that is the first time I've been able to talk about Tim without feeling like my heart's been chopped up by a rusty, dull butcher knife," Arizona commented plainly.

"Well hopefully it won't be the last," her father replied honestly.

"It won't Dad," she vowed, "It feels good to talk about him with the two of you."

"Hey remember the time..." her mother began recounting another tale of Tim's antics which led to another, then another well into the night. Arizona's mom finally broke out of the shared spell by commenting on the lateness of the hour.

"Wow," her father said with a yawn, "Time for bed."

"Honey, you can sleep in the guest room," her mother informed her.

"Thanks," she said stifling a yawn of her own.

"Good night," her mother said hugging her. Her father did the same. She took the hug from her normally unaffectionate father all the while thinking, "_I still think he's been abducted by aliens."_ Releasing his daughter, he turned to follow his wife to bed.

"Breakfast is at 07:30 sharp," he called out, "Don't be late!"

"_Ahh,"_ she sighed inwardly in relief, "_There's the colonel I know and love."_

Arizona's normally strict, regimented life took on a totally different vibe spending time with her parents. Instead of looking at a clock to see if she could fit in one activity or another, she found herself with nothing but time on her hands. So, if she wanted to help her mother plant flowers, or weed her garden, she did. If she wanted to tinker with her father in the garage, she did. She thoroughly enjoyed spending time with her parents reliving old memories but more importantly making new ones. One Thursday evening, her father gathered his things to leave. Arizona asked him about it but received cryptic response. Instead of pushing it, she went to her mom.

"Mom, where is Dad going?" she asked trying to play it cool. Failing to take the juicy bait being offered, her mother replied, "Ask your father."

"I did but he got all weird like," she huffed.

"Daniel," she called out, "Get in here." Daniel shuffled reluctantly into the kitchen where his wife was waiting for him with her hands on her hips.

"Take her with you," she commanded.

"Really?" he said with an air of petulance.

"Yes take her with you. It will be good for her." his wife told him. He pondered it for a moment before agreeing, "Let's go."

"Wait where are we going?" Arizona interjected.

"If you want to know, then come on," her father replied, "We're going to be late as it is."

"Bye dear," Barbara said bestowing a kiss on her husbands cheek. Her daughter looked out her with eyes wide with doubt.

"You'll be fine," her mother assured, "Mostly."

"Not helping," Arizona said as she was trailing after her father. Arizona got into the car with her father pestering him the entire trip until arriving at a nearby church. Since her Dad was never big on religion, Arizona's curiosity went into over drive. She followed after her father as he entered into the sanctuary. Her mind was still ablaze as she followed him down some stairs into a large gathering room where a room full of fresh, eager faced boys. The boys were young with the oldest maybe being around 10 years old. Each boy was decked out in a neatly pressed uniform adorned with a multitude of badges.

"Colonel Robbins," some of the boys eagerly greeted the retired marine.

"Boy-scouts Dad?" she asked perplexed as to why this was such a big secret.

"Yes Boy-scouts," he affirmed, "Boys this is my daughter, Dr. Arizona Robbins and she is going to take over today's lesson and hopefully help you earn a badge!" The announcement was met with a chorus of "Yay's" from the eager boys.

"What?" she whispered, "Dad no I can't teach them a knot from a hole in the ground."

"Relax," her Dad told her, "Today's lesson is on basic first aid." Arizona sighed out loud totally relieved.

"I got this!" she said confidently as she approached the crowd. Her father directed the boys into a large circle, and provided Arizona with the necessary supplies to teach the boys the basics of first aid. Before Arizona knew it, two hours had elapsed. Her father gathered the boys together to close the meeting. Arizona took the opportunity to observe her father interacting with his young wards. It struck her how vibrant and alive her father was. Her heart swelled with pride and she knew without a doubt that her brother would rest easier knowing their father was not merely surviving. He was thriving. Walking back to the car, Arizona kept stealing sly glances at her Dad.

"What?" he stopped turning to his daughter.

"They really love you Dad," she commented truthfully on what she saw. Her Dad just huffed and puffed in mock annoyance.

"And you love them too," she said teasing him further, "Oh don't worry Dad, your secret is completely safe with me." She looped her arm through her father's and allowed him to escort her to the car.

"Dad, can I ask you a question?"

"You just did," he replied sarcastically.

"Har, har very funny," she returned equally sarcastic "What made you get involved with the Boy-scouts?"

"I was a father without children," he said kind of sadly, " You never stop being a parent even if your children are grown and can take care of themselves. You always see your children as just that, children. There are still things I had to give, and still things I wanted to teach. I had a huge void that I was drowning in, so my counselor suggested finding surrogate children might help lessen the void. And she was right, and you are right. I do love them."

"I understand the need to fill a void," Arizona said sympathetically thinking about the unhealthy way she opted to fill hers, "I am glad you found a good, healthy way to fill that void." Even though her father and Arizona wasn't expecting it, her father just taught her another valuable life lesson making Arizona realize that no matter how old you get, no matter how smart you think you are, kids will always need their parents in their lives. If only people could live forever.

A few days after she went with her father to the Boy-scout meeting, Arizona woke up with such clarity that it couldn't be ignored. She had one more thing she needed to do, and apparently today would be the day she was going to accomplish it. She was sitting with her mother at the dining room table munching on a piece of toast.

"What's on your agenda today, honey?" her mother asked trying to make conversation.

"I'm going to Arlington to see Tim," she replied.

"Would you like some company?" her mom offered.

"Nah thanks though, I think I need to do this on my own," Arizona said in between bites of her breakfast. Her mother accepted that without comment. She trusted her daughter's judgment. Arizona took her rental car to Arlington Cemetery. She found a parking space in the visitor's lot and made her way to the information center so that she could find out Tim's plot number as well as a map on how to get there. Walking into the actual cemetery and seeing row after row of soldier's gravestones lined up like a child's game of domino's took her breath away. She made her way past the silent guard keeping watch over the unknown soldier's tomb. The gravity of where she was weighed down on her, and she felt like Atlas shouldering the weight of the world. She found herself needing to take a moment to gather herself together. It seemed like the closer she got to Tim's final resting place, the closer she was to unraveling the very fibers that were seemingly holding her together. Arizona was in the row that Tim was supposed to be in. She began reading the names on each stone until she found her brother's resting place. There was the white marble tombstone with black etching. Under the cross at the top was her brother's name, followed by the state he was born in, then his rank, the war he fought in, his birth date, and the date he died. Arizona read the entire tomb stone before collapsing to her knees in the

semi-damp grass. She sat back on her haunches with her hands resting on her knees silently weeping for her brother. The tears a long time coming, took some time but eventually they dried up, and that is when Arizona started talking to her brother. She talked to her brother as if he was there. She told him about her parents, she told him about her job, she told him about Callie, and she told him how she felt about Callie. Somehow saying it out loud helped solidify what she hoped to gain by going through all that she had in the past few months without Callie. She rambled on and on until there was nothing left to say. She got up from her spot leaving an indentation in the grass of where she'd been. Casting one last look at the grave site she said, "I will always love and miss you Tim. Rest in peace brother." As if Tim were listening and trying to give her a sign, a gentle gust of wind blew through her hair. Arizona headed back down the concrete pathway. In the distance was a man, and a woman. The woman was pushing a stroller with what looked to be an infant child. The man cast a cursory glance at her but then did a double take. He seemed to stare her down as he made his way towards her on the path making Arizona feel as if she had another head sprouting off her shoulder. She was grateful when the man and his family passed without saying a word.

"Ma'am," she heard a distinctly male voice calling from behind her.

"Damn it," she cursed softly under her breath before turning around to face him, "Are you speaking to me?"

"Yes ma'am," he said still staring at her intently, "I'm sorry to bother you but you look really familiar."

"I get that a lot," she said trying to dismiss his interest in her because he was seriously creeping her out.

"I feel like we've met," he said determined, "My name is Michael Reynolds and this is my wife Julie. This here is our daughter Olivia."

"Michael Reynolds," she deliberated, "Nope sorry doesn't ring a bell. I am from Seattle actually and was just here visiting with my brother."

"Your brother," Michael pondered trying to connect the dots. He had an excellent memory for faces, and was certain he had met her before. He found it a little odd that she would chose a cemetery as a place to meet up with her brother. Until he had the epiphany that her brother was one of the deceased soldier's buried in the cemetery. Then everything cleared up for him, and he knew who she was.

"Ma'am," he said tentatively, "Was your brother Timothy Robbins of the United States Marine Corps?" Arizona's head snapped back upon hearing this strange man mention her brother's name.

"Yes Tim was my brother," she said cautiously wondering if she needed to worry about this man stalking her. Even stalkers had wives and children sometimes. Michael stood at attention and saluted the wary doctor. She was about to run for her life. Sensing her near panic, Michael tried to explain himself.

"I knew your brother," he offered in peace, "He was my commanding officer in Iraq, and he is the only reason why I am standing here today." Arizona offered her hand in greeting which Michael shook firmly.

"My name is Arizona Robbins," she said in a daze, "It is nice to meet you. All of you. You knew my brother?" Michael said something softly to his wife, and she left pushing the baby in the direction of her brother's grave.

"Do you have a moment to talk?" he asked Arizona directing her to a nearby wooden bench. Arizona followed him sitting down mechanically trying to take in that the man in front of her not only knew her brother but served in the same company as her brother.

"I'm sorry if I am acting strange," Arizona apologized, "It's just a little surreal to meet someone that knew my brother."

"I understand," Michael sympathized, "I realize I must have come off as a bit stalkerish but seeing you was almost like seeing a ghost. You look so much like him."

"I was about to mace you," Arizona joked trying to break the awkwardness with humor.

"Thank you for sparing me that. Once was enough," Michael laughed with her.

"So you knew my brother?" Arizona said cutting to the chase.

"Yes I was with him for the entire year of my deployment in Iraq," he informed her.

"Were you there the day he died?" she asked directly.

"I was there with him, we all were," he said gently trying to ease the blow.

"I've read the 'official file' about what happened," she informed him, "But it is not the same as hearing it from someone first hand." She looked at Michael realizing by the pained expression on his face that mentioning that day took him right back as if he were still there.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly, "I am asking too much." Michael gathered himself together before responding.

"No it's not too much," he assured her, "There were a million times I wished I could talk to someone in Tim's family so I could thank them but never knew how to start, and now you are here. That's really huge."

"It is," Arizona replied patting his arm for comfort. Michael took a deep breath before delving into his first hand account of what happened that day. For the most part, his version mirrored what was in the file except he was able to add subjective experiences that were not in the official file. He summed up the story by telling Arizona that he was one of the people that her brother died to save, and how grateful he was because without Tim, his daughter Olivia would never have been born.

"He saved my life Arizona," he said in a shaky breath, "And sometimes I feel so damn guilty that he died saving me."

"Michael, don't you dare," she admonished, "Tim did exactly what he wanted, when he wanted, and how he wanted. He wouldn't want this for you at all. He would want you to go on living, he would want you to be happy."

"Thank you," Michael said wiping errant tears from his eyes.

"You are most welcome," she said sincerely trying to ease his burden if only a little bit. They sat in companionable silence for awhile each lost in thought.

"Hey Michael, did Tim happen to say anything before he died," Arizona wondered.

"Umm not really. He was talking his head off but nothing really made sense," Michael replied, "Doc knew he wasn't going to make it so he gave him enough morphine to make it as peaceful as possible."

"It might make sense to me," she said, "What did he say?"

"He kept talking about inspiration. How it is hard to find, how it can change your life, and how it needs to be held onto with both hands so it doesn't get away," he recounted, "Does that make sense to you?"

"Nope not at all," she said disappointed, "Morphine, go figure."

"Wait," Michael said urgently, "He rambled on about that for awhile but right before he passed, he grabbed my hand hard and said, 'Tell her the muse is the best thing that has ever happened to her. Tell her she better not fuck it up or I'll come back from the grave to put a boot up her ass.' He made me promise, and when I did, he closed his eyes and that was it. Does any of that make any sense?"

"Honestly it doesn't Michael," Arizona told him, "I'm sorry."

"I was kinda hoping it was you I was supposed to give that message to, and that I could honor my promise to him," he said sadly, "It was the least I could do for the man who died to save me."

"Michael, you did honor your promise to him by passing it on to me. I will do all I can to figure out what he meant and pass on the message," Arizona assured the man, "Go be with your family. Live. It is what Tim would want you to do." Michael stood up once again saluting her farewell before joining his family. Arizona found her way back to the car her mind swimming with everything that transpired today. While she found an uneasy sort of peace from the information Michael gave her, even though she couldn't make any sense from his cryptic messages. Returning to her parents house, she vowed to make a concerted effort to solve the riddle once she got back to Seattle. She decided her first step would be to elicit Teddy's help. Maybe his message had some meaning in the military world. She didn't want to tell her parents about it until she knew what it meant. She wanted her time with her parents to be as stress free as possible, and hearing about that, would stress them out.

Arizona was a short timer in her stay with her parents. She was planning to go back to Seattle in a couple of days so she was making the most of the time she had left. She let her mother "convince" her to go to the botanical gardens in DC. Flowers were just not her thing but her mother really enjoyed them, and that is what mattered the most. She listened as her mother admired this plant or that really thinking about what she was going to do when she got back to Seattle. She was also itching to perform big surgeries on the tiny humans. Her mother rambled on completely unaware that her daughter was not paying attention. She guided them towards an exhibit titled "The Fountain of the Muses." Arizona passed through the gates without a second thought. Directly in front of her was a giant square pool with a fountain in it. Around the pool was a cobble stone walk way in the shape of a square that extended out about seven feet from the pool. The square walk way was line with benches that were shaded by trellis' filled with various types of flora and fauna. Scattered among the pool, and the garden were eight life sized bronze statues of women in little to almost no clothing at all. Each women carried with them some sort of item. Arizona got a funny feeling in the pit of her stomach, and the eerie sense that she had been to this garden before.

"I've been here before," she said to her mother in a tone of questioning uncertainty.

"No you haven't dear," her mother told her matter of factly.

"Yes, I have," Arizona insisted.

"That's not possible dear," her mother told her, "This is a brand new exhibit."

"Hmm," Arizona huffed in confusion. She was certain that she had been to this garden before, she just couldn't remember. She walked around with her mother looking at each of the statues. She got to the fifth one reading the information on the plaque in front of her.

"Kalliope or Calliope was the eldest of the Greek muses," she read aloud, "The muses were goddesses of music, song, and dance. The muses were assigned specific artistic spheres. Kalliope was named the muse of epic poetry and eloquence. In this guise, she was frequently depicted holding a scroll and a quill." Arizona scrutinized the bronze statue in front of her, and as she did she was transported back to a memory of the dream she had not too before she began this journey. She compared the dream girl to the bronze statue in front of her. They were almost identical. The wind was sucked from Arizona's lungs as she remembered the setting for her dream. She was standing in the exact same place.

"How is that even possible?" she whispered in disbelief. Her mother said this was a brand new exhibit.

"Kalliope the muse," she read to herself.

"Calliope the muse," she murmured, and then it clicked. The final words her brother managed to utter to Michael before he died, "Tell her the muse is the best thing that ever happened to her."

"Holy shit," she uttered astonished at the super natural turn of events, "HOLY SHIT!"

"Language, Arizona," her mother scolded coming over to see what was going on with her daughter.

"Mom, we have to go NOW," she said urgently. She grabbed her mother by the arm frantically searching for the exit.

"What in the world is going on?" her mother said as she was being dragged along.

"I can't even begin to explain it to you right now. I will one day but right now I have to get back to Seattle," she said determined, "There is something I have to do."

"Right now?" her mother questioned perplexed.

"It's now or never Mom," she replied, "That is how important it is."

"Well, okay," her mother conceded. Arizona used her cell phone to check for departing flights to Seattle, and was in luck. There was a flight leaving at 2pm. She would barely have enough time to get her things and get back to the airport in DC. Her mother provoked her daughter's ire the entire trip back as Arizona complained from the passenger seat that she wasn't going fast enough, or that she needed to pass this car or that car. Her mother barely stopped the car when Arizona shot out of the car like a bolt of lightening. She sprinted to her room throwing her clothes and things haphazardly into her carry on. Not caring if she got everything, she ran back down the steps crashing into her mother at the bottom.

"Gotta go, Mom," she said hurriedly giving the woman a hug and a kiss, "I will explain everything when I get back home. Tell Dad bye for me." Then she was out the door leaving her mother flustered. Arizona made another silent plea for her angels to watch over her as she bobbed and weaved her way down the interstate. She made it to the airport. She tossed the rental car keys back to the attendant.

"Charge my card!" she shouted over her shouldering. She sprinted to the South Western ticketing agent with only fifteen minutes to spare. She knew the plane had to be boarding by now.

"I have to get on the 2pm flight to Seattle," she said expelling a ragged breath. The seasoned attendant looked at the disheveled woman glistening with sweat, and took pity on her. She took Arizona's credit card information, telling her that they would have her ticket and boarding pass for her at the gate. She also flagged down a security guard on a golf cart and got him to escort Arizona to her gate. Arizona was extremely grateful that this stranger was willing to go to such extra lengths just to help her get home. She took this as a sign of good things to come. At the gate, a man was waiting for her. He ran with her down the gate explaining various things to her before handing her everything she would need like her ticket stub, and her boarding pass. Arizona thanked him before entering the plane. The flight attendant took her ticket and led her to a seat in first class. Arizona gave a momentary pause thinking about how much this little excursion was going to cost her. She shook it off quickly realizing that if things turned out right between her and Callie, there was not a price she could put on living a happy life with Callie. The master card commercial went through her head.

"Priceless," she whispered softly getting comfortable in her seat in preparation for the long flight back to Seattle.

Arizona's first instinct upon returning to Seattle was to find Callie wherever she was, whether that be at work or at home. Deciding against impulsiveness landed her a seat on the steps to Callie's town house. She would wait for however long it would take for Callie to get home. In that time, she would prepare what she would say to Callie in order to make things right between them again. A fog crept in slowly seeping its way into her skin. She shivered with cold, but even a cold Seattle night couldn't sway her from this task. A little while after the street lights turned on, Arizona noticed Callie's car slowly making its way down the street. Callie parked her car in her spot directly across the street. As she stepped out of her car, the street light behind her cast an angelic aura around her entire body. Suddenly, Arizona wasn't cold anymore and everything she planned to say flew out of her head. All she could see was Callie, and nothing else. Callie didn't see her sitting on the steps right away.

"Arizona," she gasped in surprise, "What are you doing here?" Arizona stood on shaky legs. She looked left and right trying to figure out what to say. She couldn't figure out why her brain wasn't working.

"Do-nuts," she finally blurted out.

"Do-nuts Arizona?" Callie retorted back, "I haven't seen or heard from you in god knows how long, and you show up on the steps to MY house wanting do-nuts?" Arizona stood there mutely shaking her head cursing herself inwardly for her lack of loquaciousness at the time she needed it the most. Callie brushed by her on the steps intent on making her way inside her house alone. It had been a long day, and she didn't have the mental or emotional strength to deal with Arizona's crap.

"You really are a piece of work," she muttered in passing.

"Wait Callie, just wait, I am not saying this right at all damn it," she said reaching to stop the other woman from walking into the house, "You said that if the pain got to be too much, then I was to use my word and you would stop the pain. My word was do-nuts."

"In the dungeon, Arizona," she said pointedly, "This is hardly the dungeon," she said sweeping her hand across her body.

"I know this isn't the dungeon Calliope, I do. But I am still in pain, and I need you to make it go away so I am using my safe word," she kept trying to explain.

"What in the world are you talking about?" Callie replied in exasperation. Arizona took a step forward so that she was distinctly in Callie's personal body space. She held the brunette's questioning gaze.

"Not a day goes by where I don't think of you, and my heart yearns to be with you," she said softly, "Being without you, not having you in my life hurts me so, so much that I can't take it anymore. It pains my heart to not be able to see you, to not be able to touch you, to not be able to tell you about my day or hear about yours..." Arizona was rambling, she knew it but she felt like this was her last chance to make things right and from the look of Callie who was standing in front of her door with her arms crossed over her chest, she was blowing it. So she did the only thing she could, she just kept on going.

"I dream of being with you every night, and it's so real Calliope, and we are so happy together. Then I wake up reaching for you only to realize that it was a dream and I go through the devastation of losing you every time I wake up," she said desperately, "It hurts so bad that I can barely breathe without you in my life. You are the only person who can make this pain go away, so yeah, I am using my word." Callie didn't do or say anything to make this any easier on Arizona. In fact, she just stood there with a hard look on her face. Sensing, she hadn't said enough or done enough, Arizona went to her last resort.

"Please Calliope," she begged the brunette without any shame whatsoever, "Please my world is nothing without you in it." Callie took everything in that Arizona was telling her, but still felt like Arizona was going around her ass to get to her elbow.

"Is that all you have to say, Arizona?" she asked coolly not giving anything away to the other woman. Arizona knew things didn't come out the way she intended, so she stood there racking her brain for anything she may have left out, not realizing that she was indeed missing the three simple and direct words that Callie needed to hear the most. Without hearing those words, Arizona didn't stand a snow balls chance in hell of having another chance with Callie.

"I mean this is probably the last chance you will have with me," Callie said trying her best to lead Arizona in the right direction, "So if there is anything else at all you _feel_, that you need to tell me, I'd do it right now."

"That's what I am trying to do," Arizona interjected flustered and scared that she was losing Callie for certain. Callie sighed deeply thinking to herself, _"You can lead a horse to water, but you damn sure can't make it take a drink."_ Rain had started to fall from the sky at a moderate pace. Arizona looked toward the dark sky thinking the rain to be an ominous sign especially since she took a cab to Callie's. If things didn't go her way, she be stuck in the rain waiting for one to pick her up again. Callie felt like she has given Arizona ample time and opportunity to say the thing that she needed to hear from Arizona in order for her to let her back in her life. Callie knew that it wasn't easy at all for Arizona to use her safe word. She had nearly beat the skin off of Arizona's creamy white ass, and the other woman had never given it. So, Callie didn't take it lightly. She knew Arizona must really be hurting. But in the end, she felt like it was too much of a risk to her heart, to her sanity to let her back in. She could not go all in with her heart, if Arizona was not going to meet her half way.

"Good-bye Arizona," she said turning back, and walking through her door leaving a stunned woman on the other side standing in the cold rain.

"_What the hell just happened?"_ Arizona pondered utterly confused. She walked down the steps, onto the side walk intent on walking in the rain as a penance for failing at her task. Arizona recounted her end of the conversation when she heard the wet footsteps of someone frantically trying to catch up to her. She turned around to see who it was hoping she didn't have to use her pepper spray. She saw Callie standing a few feet away from her dripping wet from the rain as well.

"Really?" she shouted angrily at Arizona, "You are gone for a month and then show up at my door step unannounced and that is _all_ you have to say? That you are in pain, that you can't live without me? That is all you came to do? You're finished? Well blah, blah, blah." Arizona listened to the rant becoming incensed herself. Callie couldn't possibly think that was easy for her to do. She marched up to Callie standing toe to toe with the slightly taller woman.

"No!" she shouted equally as angry, "That isn't all but you shut the damn door in my face again!"

"Well then tell me Arizona," she pleaded, "Tell me." Arizona was at a loss. She didn't know what to say. Her words had already failed her so she decided to take action instead. She grabbed Callie by the waist pulling her roughly against her kissing her mouth. She used the kiss to convey everything she couldn't say. Every thought, every feeling, every hope, and every dream was packed into that one single kiss. She was walking down death row, desperate, hoping for a last minute pardon from the Governor, or in her case Callie. She ended the kiss just as quickly as she initiated it. She could tell from the stunned look on Callie's face that her last ditch effort had worked.

"There, now I am finished," she said sensing victory but she didn't want to be standing at the victory line alone, so she met Callie in the middle, "Oh and I love you." There were the words Callie so longed to here, and the gesture she needed from Arizona in order to feel certain again.

"Damn it, Arizona," Callie said with exasperation and with a lot of joy and hope as well. Callie knew in her gut that whatever demons haunted Arizona had been exorcised. She knew that if Arizona was still being plagued by whatever ghosts had been haunting her, Arizona's pride would never have allowed any of what just occurred to happen. Arizona stood waiting for whatever came next. She could see feelings and emotions playing across Callie's face as if it were a movie being played out on screen.

"You," Callie said pointing an accusing finger at Arizona's chest, "Are so damn stubborn!"

"I know?" Arizona replied tentatively waiting for the guillotine to drop down on her. Callie looped her arm through Arizona's and tugged her towards the townhouse.

"Come on," she urged, "It's raining buckets out here. We need to get you out of your wet clothes before you catch your death."

"Is that your subtle way of telling me that you want to see me naked?" Arizona quipped.

"Since when do I need to be subtle?" Callie rebutted, "If I wanted to see you naked, I would just tell you or better yet, I would take off your clothes myself."

"Promises, promises," Arizona replied laughing. It occurred to Callie how absurd and how perfect it was at the same time to be walking hand in hand with Arizona joking about something like sex as if nothing bad had ever happened between them.

_ "That's because your heart has always belonged to Arizona. Even though you were apart, you never stopped loving her, you never stopped hoping,"_ came the errant thought into her head. Callie stopped without warning causing Arizona to lurch backward.

"What Callie?" she asked seriously sensing the impending guillotine.

"I love you, too Arizona," Callie told her cupping the blond's cheek, "I love you too." Arizona smiled leaning into the intimate gesture.

"It stopped raining," Arizona noted softly. Both women looked into the sky noticing that the rain had indeed stopped, the clouds had parted revealing an a sky illuminated by a bright full moon, and a sky full of stars. It was if the universe, fate, or whatever you choose to believe in picked that exact moment in time to bestow their blessing upon the two women, as if to say, "Finally, you got it right and all things will be right with the world." While there was no way to know the fate of the entire world, the two women stood together independently thinking the same exact thing. While their relationship would always be an exciting challenge, both knew that together they were going to be alright.

**THE END**

**Author's Note: I know, I know I am a total poopie head for dragging this out for so long. I have no excuses for you, only apologies and gratitude for those of you that took this journey with me from the beginning.**


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